MY RED COUCH

The picture quality isn't so great but here's a photo of my new red couch. I love the cozy look it has snuggled by a fire crackling in the fireplace.

Even the simple act of buying a new couch can make me philosophical. It started when the delivery man was unwrapping my couch. "WHOOOHOOO RED!!! Last week we delivered green and this week red!" He was NOT making note of the Christmas coincidence. I thought this was very funny. I sent an email to someone I know to show them a picture of my new couch and told her about what the delivery man had said. I added "apparently the couch is bright". Her reply was a list of things I could do to tone down the color. Hmmm. My email had not said that I was unhappy with the couch. I don't want to tone it down.

But now I am bothered. You may think that I am bothered by the fact that people will not like my couch. Like my friend, they will probably see it and suggest ways to tone it down. Yes I am slightly worried about that but I am more concerned by the fact that I am even slightly worried about what people think of my couch! I'm 42 years old and you would think that I'd have this under wraps by now! I don't like the idea of being controlled by other's opinions. Some day I would love to be in a state of mind where things like this don't even cross my mind. I wonder if by mentioning the delivery man's exclamation that I showed some sort of insecurity. An insecurity that invited suggestions on ways to "fix my mistake". Was the insecurity already there or did it show up once the suggestions had been made?

I AM THE RED COUCH KIND OF PERSON but many times over the years I've found ways to fit in with the status quo. Most people try to fit in and those that don't usually are labelled weirdos. I want to be comfortable with being a weirdo!

WHAT WAS I THINKING?

Erin was only 11 months old in this picture. Notice that she has climbed onto the arm of a rocking chair and is working her way up the Fisher Price kitchen set.....and all I could think of doing was snapping a picture. Keep in mind as she was balancing precariously, I had to go get my camera and take the shot. Apparently, I felt like I had enough time to call Thomas over for a picture together because I have another photo with him in it. What kind of mother was I?

NIGHTTIME WALKS WITH BEAU

Our dog Beau has never needed to have a regular schedule with his walks. Mostly, he would just hang out with us outside and the days that he didn't go on a walk he would just wander around in our large yard for his potty breaks (we own over 5 acres). He always got enough exercise tagging along with the kids. At the end of the summer after months of dealing with his bouts of diarrhea I decided that along with new food and medication I needed to make sure he got a "real" walk almost everyday. Many times this walk ends up being at the end of the day in the dark. I grab a flashlight and head out along our dirt roads. I would probably be a little nervous about meeting a bear if I didn't have Beau with me! Its a weird feeling strolling along through the wilderness at night. I sometimes wonder what little eyes are watching me from the bushes. On the otherhand I probably have nothing to worry about with Beau barreling through like a bull in a china shop! So far we haven't met any fragrant little friends!

Last night my walk was spectacular. We've had an unseasonably warm fall and all I needed was a sweatshirt to keep warm. A storm had just blown through and the wind was still whipping. The sky was clear with only a few puffy clouds left over. The moon was beaming so brightly that I didn't need my flashlight to see where I was going. It was a bit unreal looking up to see the clouds moving so quickly acrossed the face of the moon. It almost felt like a dream but then I realized this is my reality. I realize how lucky I am to love where I live.

TRICK OR TREATERS

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

By Sarah, 9 years old

IF THE SCHOOL DOESN'T GET ITS ACCREDITATION

If our middle school doesn't get its Middle States accreditation, it might be my fault! There is a team coming to observe all the schools in our district. Our middle school decided that they would pick some students from each grade level to go to lunch with these people. My son was one of the students that they picked. On the surface I can see why they picked him. His straight A's, his great behavior, his friendly smile. All of these are perfect reasons. Little do they know that at home he has a mother (me) who rants and raves continuously about every little problem that the schools have. Who commonly calls the principal of the elementary school an idiot. Who teaches them that every teacher has their "quirks" (also known as psychological problems) and you have to learn to work around them. These are just a few of the topics I cover in my daily dialouges entitled "problems in your school".

So my poor son feels the pressure. He's old enough to realize that he needs to apply a little BS, but maybe still young enough to get it wrong. When I found out that he was going to be the one to answer this teams questions I said, "don't take this the wrong way, but I just picture you saying something really stupid". He said "I know, I do too!" He'll try to do the right thing and say good things about the school but....somehow I just can't shake this feeling of doom! The other part of me just can't stop laughing!

I LAUGHED UNTIL I CRIED

Sarah is in her second year of playing the viola. She likes to have me listen when she practices and the other day I was doing just that. As I watched I was amazed at how far she's come in a year. Last year she struggled through wanting to quit and hating the sound the viola made. I decided to force her to stick with it even though I feel that music should be something you enjoy. At the end of last year the teacher put her into the orchestra with the older students and Sarah felt lost and many times actually WAS lost. She didn't play well enough to be able to keep up with the other kids so many times just sat there not playing. So while watching her practice this time, I pointed out how much better she was doing. Then I asked her if she found that she could keep up with the other kids this year. She replied "That's not really my specialty, I think I'd make a better soloist". She also told me that many times the teacher will yell out "WE'RE ON MEASURE NINE!". For some reason this got me laughing.....until there were tears rolling from my eyes! Sarah is only 9 years old and the whole thing sounded hysterical coming from her. What a great way to look at things. Its not that she can't keep up with the other kids, its just that she was meant to play solo!

POOP

I'm starting to realize that I have a weird fixation on poop. When my kids say, "Mom, I don't feel well", my automatic response is "Do you need to poop?" Then when they tell me that they already pooped, I ask them what it was like. Was it diarrhea or normal? If they answer diarrhea I find myself asking how bad it was. Just a little mushy or total liquid?

This fixation seemed to start when they were born. I have many memories of examining the contents of diapers and trying to relate it to the health of the baby. Were they constipated? Wow, I didn't realize that pineapples could turn a butt so red? Turns out that Thomas's stomach doesn't agree with oranges.

What's worse, now that the kids are older and they don't want to discuss their poops anymore I've been following the dog around and examining his! In my defense, he has had bouts of diarrhea for the past few months. This has required intense monitoring! Hmmm. They start out kind of green and sometimes are just a weird yellow. What could this mean? Turns out he can no longer tolerate his regular food. The new prescription diet has not only firmed them up, but has also made them a nice brown color! Quite bulky also, since the new food is high fiber! You never realized just how fun poop watching could be!

I'm glad that Beau is feeling better but have no fear, since I am acting as a foster mother to the abandoned cat and kittens, I have four new digestive tracts to follow! As I guessed, the mother's postnatal diarrhea seemed to clear up once her system settled down. I think the one kitten that also had diarrhea was just having a reaction to the antibiotics I gave her to clear up an upper respiratory infection.

All systems are now running smoothly. Although....I'm feeling a bit constipated!

SIMPLE

I am.
Simple.

Many are puffed up with the idea of grandeur.
Thinking they are more special than the others.
But really just insignificant dots in infinity.
What would happen if one dot was missing?
Nothing.
If you put uniqueness on a scale that reached to infinity the difference in each human would be unnoticable.

Everyone is just as simple as I am.

HAPPY

Yesterday I told Tom that I felt like I needed to conciously get away from negativity. Some of the negative things I can't run from, like the death of a neighbor's 20 year old son. Very sad. However, I can get away from negativity like neighborhood gossip or dwelling on some of the crazy things my kid's teachers do. Just an example before I stop. Erin's science teacher had a 5 question "notebook" test. "What was the homework assignment on such and such date?" "What was the topic heading on such and such date?". These were the two questions that Erin got wrong and ended up with a 60% on the test. She seems to be able to answer actual science questions fine! She also does all her assignments although apparently she didn't write that particular one down in her notebook. She told me that is because his assignments are sometimes "Remember that the book fair is tonight" or "Get your test signed by your parent". Sort of dumb to write down. She didn't know they would be on her science test.

SEE WHAT I MEAN WITH GETTING STUCK INTO THIS NEGATIVITY!

So instead I will dwell on good things!

Tom got to drive Sarah to ballet yesterday. Conversations with Sarah can always be interesting. Among her comments were "Daddy, will you ever take less pills?" The big joke around here is that when we go on a trip, Tom needs an extra suitcase for all his medications. When he's eating supper he needs to save some room for his pills! Poor Tom, hee hee!

Another thing Sarah made note of is that we are not rich in money but we are rich in good things like happiness! Yeah, Sarah!

Another thing that recently made me smile was Erin's first cross country race. Before the race she kept hoping that she wouldn't come in last, however, she was convinced that she would come in last. The day of the race came and I was there snapping pictures of my kids as well as all the other runners. I had to wait some time before Erin neared the finish line. I cheered her on and snapped a picture as she ran by. Then I didn't see anyone behind her. So, convinced that she was indeed last I walked off to find her and give her a hug. As I was doing this I noticed a few other runners were still coming in. I couldn't believe that I had been convinced she would be last! I ran to get a picture of the last runner on her team.

And Thomas? He just makes me happy puttering along in his own little striped shirt world.

WHY?

Why do people save their goodness for times when things are going bad? I noticed that when I was going through all this health scare that some people who wouldn't usually bother to communicate with me, were suddenly full of compassion. They were calling and wondering how things were. I know I should appreciate this new found attention but I don't. I very much appreciate the people in my life who like me when things are going good as well as being there for me when things go bad. I often hear people say that hard times bring people together. That seems to be true, but I notice when the hard times are over people go back to the same old bickering and drama. So, that's why I get annoyed.

Likewise, why is it that when someone dies they become the most wonderful person ever? Its not that I want people to go to funerals and start criticizing the deceased. Its just that I think people should show a little more caring for the living. I can think of numerous times that the people who seemed to hate a person when they were alive were sobbing with sadness at that persons funeral. Could it be that the people who are crying are upset from their own guilt? I can even find that acceptable if those people then learn from that experience. That's not what I've observed though. On TV and in magazine articles I've often found that people claim that a traumatic event had "changed them forever". But my day to day experience has shown that people aren't changed forever. If that were the case then most of us would be walking around being more loving and understanding. Wouldn't that be nice.

FINALLY SOME GOOD NEWS

Friday I went to see my neurosurgeon about my pituitary tumor. I got copies of my MRI films, the written report and all the blood tests I had done. I walked into his office and just after I sat down, he said "so I have your MRI and it looks like everything is okay". Now, what was I supposed to say to someone who thinks its okay to have a tumor? I said "Well, I wouldn't say everything is okay when there is a tumor there." He then proceeded to explain to me that the "soft tissue mass" that shows up on the MRI is "more than likely not a tumor". Probably just scar tissue but from the previous surgery. The only way of telling for sure is to do another MRI in six months. He said the first thing for me to do is to stop worrying. When I had first read the MRI report, I had thought the radiologist was being wishy washy when he used words like "appears" and "may be". I have never met the radiologist but have the utmost trust in my neurosurgeon. He spent time to review the films with me, point out how perfect my pituitary gland was looking. How the spot where the old tumor was located was still free from tumor. He also showed me the mass that the radiologist was referring to. Its "adjacent" to the pituitary and doesn't look like a tumor to me, and apparently it doesn't look like a tumor to the neurosurgeon. The only wee little worry is "what the heck is it then". I trust my neurosurgeon enough, that I know that if it looked suspicious he would be alerted. Instead of worrying, I'm going to follow his advice and just stop worrying!

SHOCKED

I've been living in shock for almost a week now. I've been going to doctors and getting tested for this and that. When I found out that I had a fibroid tumor I was surprised but not really worried. Then during a visit last week with my new endocrinologist I found out that the pituitary tumor I had removed 12 years ago has come back. I have an appointment with the neurosurgeon who removed the first pituitary tumor this friday. We will discuss what can be done about it this time. On that same day I found out that my thyroid is underactive and I will need to take medication for the rest of my life. They will do a needle biopsy of the nodule that is on my thyroid in order to rule out anything serious.

Do you know what's really funny? I feel fine. I have all this bad stuff wrong with me, and I feel fine! DO YOU HEAR ME...I FEEL FINE!!!! It must all be a dream. WAKE UP ELISE, WAKE UP!!!

As far as how serious all this is, it could be worse. The operation for the tumor is pretty delicate, but I have a really good surgeon. They go in through your nose. Pretty interesting.

FANTASY

Hah! With a title like that can you imagine who will come to visit!?!

My neighbor, "M", just came back from a visit with her son and daughter-in-law. Her daughter-in-law is a graphic artist who does all those touch-ups to make people look wonderful in magazine pictures.

The day after M got home, she came to visit our new kittens. While she was here she told Erin and me about the things her daughter-in-law was doing. If a hand looks funny, she takes it out and puts in a new one. Extra fat? Trim it down as easy as one, two, three! A picture of a family and one of the kids doesn't look right? Just erase him or her from view! See some goose bumps on an arm? One swoop and they are gone! Facial blemishes just don't exist in the world of the magazine people! M said that you hear that these things can be done, but to actually see the extent of what they do is incredible!

I'm very glad that Erin was there to hear about these things. She will know that she doesn't have to live up to the pictures she sees in magazines. What about the rest of the kids out there that don't really understand? I see a future of nips and tucks, peels and make-up. Ending with unhappiness because I don't think even a surgeon can compete with a graphic artist!

HELLO PEOPLE FROM INDIA!

I have a stat counter for my blogs but rarely do I look at how many people visit or where they visit from. Recently, I did want to know if anyone was visiting the blog I have set up to post pictures of my son's cross country team. While checking that out I decided to look at my justme64 stats. It's always fun to see the searches people do to get to my blog, like "dog puking". I also see that there are quite a few unhappy people out there because they ended up finding my "sometimes its okay to be unhappy" post.

I noticed that quite a few hits came from India. That brought me back to my days of working with my buddy, Venkat. I love that name, sounds like Cool Cat! He was originally from Hyderabad, India (excuse me if I spelled that wrong). Guess lately I've been going down memory lane and thinking about my days of working. I'm pretty sure that the ER doctor that my husband saw on saturday night was originally from India, but I was too busy gritting my teeth (watching my husband in pain) to ask.

So HELLO to all you people from India!!

MYRTLE

I can't save the world, but I can save Myrtle! I got back from the shore late tuesday night and was out picking huckleberries on wednesday when my neighbor's cat meowed at me. The neighbors left three weeks ago and left two cats to fend for themselves. When I went to say hello I saw that she had some sort of growth in her stomach...I'm so intelligent! Sure enough those nipples were sticking out too! After checking with other neighbors I confirmed that the cats were abandoned and was worried that Myrtle was going to pop any minute. I left the male cat but took Myrtle and kept her in my garage. The next day she had her babies! I feel really good about saving her from having the kittens outdoors. It even rained yesterday. I will let the babies get bigger and then if no one is interested in adopting them, I will bring them to the shelter. They will all be spayed or neutered there. I just hope Myrtle finds a good home because she is one of the best cats I've ever seen. Very loveable. We had no trouble catching her, just walked up and plopped her in the cat carrier.

MYRTLE THE DAY WE FOUND HER

MYRTLE THE NEXT DAY!

MY FRIEND PAUL

Yesterday I needed to have our van worked on and since the dealership is near my husband's place of work, that is where I ended up. Almost 14 years ago, I worked there too. It is a big facility with many different buildings. As I wound my way through the cubicles in my husband's building, I met up with quite a few people I knew from the past. I was struck by the fact that although I haven't seen these people for years, most of them started complaining to me about the office politics. Giving me specific details of who was mad at who and why they were mad! I began to think they were indeed mad, but in a crazy sort of way!

One of the secretaries asked me if I missed working. I told her that there were things I missed and things I didn't. I definitely don't miss the fights and bickering. I think that I get less of that from my kids! This day was making me appreciate my husband more for what he does. His day starts with an hour long drive with high strung crazy drivers, continues with a bunch of bickering babies and ends with the same hour long drive taking an extra half hour because of the tourists heading up to our area. Somehow he keeps waking up everyday and going to work. He can even find enjoyment in his work. I think his technique is to keep his head low and fly in under the radar. The actual work he gets to do when he's able to avoid the craziness is satisfying.

After eating breakfast in the cafeteria with my husband I made my way to my old cubicle. There I found my friend Paul. I rarely see Paul since he is never there when I stop by but yesterday there he sat. Just as the other people had slipped right back into whining and complaining like they had so many years ago, Paul and I slipped right back into our friendly chatter. As we caught up on what our kids were doing and how our feeble "old" bodies were failing us, I couldn't help but smile. I sat by Paul the entire six years that I worked. We both had our quirks, but we somehow worked things out. As we talked, I told Paul that I missed our fun conversations. He told me that he did too. We had rarely talked about office politics and mostly our topics were light and fun. An oasis in a world of negativity. If I could guarantee that I could stay in that safe little cubicle cocoon I would be happy to go back to work but that's not reality. Its so hard to ignore the bombardment of unhappy people. I see my husband struggle with that all the time. You can't hide from human nature and when that human's nature is misery they are always looking for company.

Thank you to my husband for what he does everyday and thank you to Paul for being my friend.

I'VE BEEN SUCKED IN AGAIN!

Before I had my first kid I found out that I had a pituitary tumor. Then after my second kid was born, I went into the hospital and had that tumor removed. When all this happened I felt sucked into a never ending medical mish mash. (I paused in my typing for quite some time to come up with THAT term!) Recently, I've had some "womanly troubles". Okay, okay, my periods are coming more frequently and I've been getting migraine headaches with them. Since the tumor messed up my period and headaches are a symptom of pituitary tumors I immediately was concerned. I contacted my neurosurgeon who removed the tumor and he recommended an MRI and blood tests and a visit to my endocrinologist. I hated my endocrinologist. So my plan was to go to my gynecologist and have a check-up and convince him to give me the orders for the MRI and blood tests. Instead he did a PAP smear and ordered a mammogram and a pelvic sonogram. The sonogram is for the fibroid tumor(s) he thinks I have. Sigh. He wouldn't give me migraine medication until I see an endocrinologist to check for the return of the pituitary tumor. Sigh. So, after one appointment with the gyno, I have three new appointments. And at the end of those three appointments I still won't know if the pituitary tumor has returned. That will require more appointments. In the meantime, I'm looking forward to my next migraine.

What a medical MISH MASH...sigh.

STORIES FROM THE TOILET

While camping at Disney World I made a trip to the bathroom. While in there I overheard two girls 7 and 9 years old in the handicap stall next to me. They were in the midst of quarreling. The 7 year old was trying to put on a bikini and seemed to be having quite a bit of trouble. The 9 year old was supposedly trying to help but the 7 year old was not allowing it. The 9 year old was telling her sister that she was 7 and should know how to put on a bathing suit, but since she was 9 she could help her. "You never help me the right way!!" "Fine, if you won't let me help you then I'm leaving!" "Fine!" "Fine!" Then I hear a couple of resounding slaps! I'm not sure if slapping each other snapped them out of the battle but then I heard the 9 year old say "Okay, if you don't tell on me then I won't tell on you!" The 7 year old answers "Well, that's just fine with me!"

Not too long after that the mother shows up and in an annoyed voice says "What's going on in here? What's taking you so long?" The 7 year old calmly says "I was having just a little bit of trouble and after I tried to put on my suit for awhile I just said 'Bre, could you please help me put my bathing suit on?' and then she helped me put it on."

I'm in my stall hiding and trying to muffle my laughs....the mother was suspicious but I guess what she doesn't know won't hurt her!

NOT THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH

We are finally back from all our "vacationing" and let me just say that Disney World is fun but I have to say its not really the "happiest place on earth"! The best thing about vacation can be coming home.

A significant portion of our vacation was spent in traffic, lines or mushed among a crowd of people. Sometimes during this time I would look around and think "do these people enjoy this?" Is it just me who cringes and feels claustraphobic when the crowds get too big. Its very interesting to me to see that city folk seem to thrive in what I consider overpopulation. Although I don't understand the attraction I'm sort of happy that people like to crowd together into tight places.....all the more room for me to spread out!

My idea of entertainment is watching a wild turkey attack a fox to protect her chicks. Surprisingly, the turkey won that battle! Then watch as she walks around clucking to call all eight chicks back to her. We could hear the worry in her clucks and then the happy loving sounds she made as they showed up one by one. They excitedly peeped their version of the adventure. Yes, I live in my own "magic kingdom".

BEING UNHAPPY SOMETIMES IS OKAY

I've come to realize that I've spent a lot of time trying to make my kids happy....all the time. Looking back to when they were babies I felt like my job was to figure out why they were crying and then solve the problem so they would stop. As they got older, I needed to figure out how to stop those toddler frustrations that all too often would turn into screaming rages. It would break my heart to see them in their elementary school years facing problems at school. I couldn't be there to control every situation.

Now with my two oldest in middle school I'm overwhelmed. The entire school is filled with hundreds of adolescents with seething hormones! EEK! It seems that in the moments when they are happy, then their friend's moods bring them down. And just try to solve a problem when it comes from hormonal moodiness! So during this past year I have come to realize that being unhappy sometimes is okay. I have explored the fact that everyone has a lot of different feelings inside of them and they just happen. People get angry and sad as well as happy. So, I've been trying to just give them space to let the feelings flow. I am keeping an eye out for a pattern of unhappiness so it doesn't get out of control. I've also told them that they can spend a little alone time with their feelings so I don't get too aggravated! But you know what, we all sometimes get angry or sad about stupid things. We all have those moments when we think the whole world is against us when its not. The key is moving on from it. Getting up the next day and realizing its a new day. As long as my kids have that ability, its okay.

ARTISTS

I think everyone has a creative side. Everyone has a bit of artist in them. I have to admit though, that I used to think that really artistic people were pretending to be that way. Pretending to see things that we don't see. Pretending to like things that we could give a hoot about. Sarah has opened my eyes. I've realized for awhile now that she has an artistic personality. She is very talented when it comes to creating artwork and can draw really well for a 9 year old but its more than that. She is constantly talking to me about things that are, well, artistic. Or at least things that I had always perceived as artistic. You know, those people pretending to be that way?! The other day she told me that she wanted to draw ordinary things. Things that other people wouldn't think were important enough to draw. "Like that post right there. No one would want to draw that post. I want to draw nothing." She sees things that others don't. She observes and absorbs like a sponge. If we eat at a seafood restaurant she wants to play with the lobster shell. She moves it around and watches how it works. Staring at it intently. Seeing every minute detail.

At 9 years old, I can safely say that she hasn't read how to act like an artist. She is just being herself. I love it!

DIFFERENT

Since I posted about the artist in my family, I need to mention that I am so glad that all my kids are different. Thomas and Erin are both great at drawing but I would not describe their personalities are artistic. They have there own personalities. Thomas being a techie kind of dude and Erin is my fellow "feelings" kind of girl. Erin is probably the one who I can relate to the most although I do have a math/analytical side. Erin can really get what I'm talking about. I think we would both make good psychiatrists although it would probably end up driving us insane!! Having three different personalities in the house makes my life feel very full. I am so glad that I share different things with each of them. I am glad that I don't have a problem enjoying each of them fully. I know some parents feel a special bond with one of their kids and end up playing favorites. That has never been an issue for me. I'm sure there are times that my kids think I am playing favorites but inside of my heart I don't have a favorite. Never for a minute have I had that feeling. And for that I am grateful. It must be a burden for the parents who have a special bond with one of their kids. I have that special bond with all of mine.

JUNIOR HIGH, JUNIOR PEOPLE?

In our school district Junior High starts in sixth grade and ends in eighth grade. Its also called Middle School, not Junior High like where I grew up. Erin is in sixth grade and Thomas is in seventh grade so we are really in the thick of it. This whole process has me a bit worried. I try to remember what it was like when I was in sixth and seventh grade. It seems so different now with Erin announcing that she has seen sixth graders French kissing in an unobserved area of the hallway. That's not really the part that bothers me since I see that my kids have a more "normal" approach to the boy/girl thing. They seem to be slightlly interested, but get easily distracted.

What really worries me is the whole social interaction thing. I can see how spending their days in the Middle School just bashes away at their confidence. They seem to be holding up, but sometimes I wonder. I can point out how talented they are and let them know that it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks. But what about the constant barrage of negativity from all these other kids. I can sit back and objectively say that all these preadolescents and adolescents are just fighting to secure their spot in this world but how do I counteract their constant nastiness. I'm sure that Erin and Thomas are not contributing to the nastiness and that comes from their own confidence. They don't feel the need to put others down to build themselves up. I suppose I can take some comfort in that.

Erin talks to me more than Thomas and I can see an effect that the Middle School has had on her. It makes me sad and frustrated to see her beaten down like that. We went to my neices First Communion party and Erin didn't want to dance with me. She may believe that I was unhappy that I didn't have anyone to dance with but that wasn't the problem. I just hated to see my happy carefree girl stifled. There were girls her age there and I'm sure that had an effect on her. She's now old enough to realize that her peers are looking her up and down and judging her. But she's not old enough to realize that they are doing it in a desperate attempt to make themselves feel better. I have always told her that is why people judge you, but I think that is a bit of wisdom that takes a long time to really sink in. Took me 40 years to really understand it! I know that some people would just pass this off as a Rite of Passage, but it hurts. This is such an important time in their lives to get it right and I'm worried. Don't get me wrong, Erin is no shrinking violet, she has much more confidence than a lot of girls her age but I do see an effect. As a friend of mine always says, its like a drippy faucet. I can build them up at home but all those comments and snide remarks at school can wear them down.

What about Thomas? He seems to be fairing well, but like I said he is a bit more quiet than Erin. I guess I just have to trust him when he tells me things are okay.

I'm sure we will all survive, but I feel the need to be on top of this issue. I don't really feel that I have the key yet. In the meantime I will continue to talk and build them up at home. I will sit back and hope that is enough armor to survive the battle.

GROSS AND DISGUSTING

My entire sweet little family was at Wendy's eating the other night. I was somewhat tired and vegging out. I saw a mother come in with two preschool aged boys. In my mind I sent out sympathy vibes because I know that can be a difficult age to deal with. I quietly mentioned this to my husband and said that she's probably just trying to make it through the meal. Then I sat and minded my own business. I overheard her having a loud conversation with her kids.

Mother: "WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO DO THAT?!!
Kid: He said something that I couldn't quite understand.
Mother: "WELL STOP IT, THAT'S GROSS AND DISGUSTING!!"

I didn't turn around to see what she was talking about but thought maybe he had said some bad word.

On the way home from there, Erin asked me if I had heard the woman's conversation and I said yes but I didn't know what she was talking about. She said that the little boy was blowing the wrapper off the end of his straw. When she had asked him where he had learned to do that, he had pointed to Erin, Thomas and Sarah and said "THEM!!" So apparently, my kids are gross and disgusting!! Erin was not happy but she told me that since I did it too and had actually taught them how to do it, she wondered what this mother must do for fun. She figured that the mother NEVER had any fun. In my opinion, its not gross and disgusting, obnoxious maybe, but not gross and disgusting! And I think it would only be obnoxious if you did it towards someone you didn't know or left the wrappers on the floor. That's my humble opinion, but then again, I'm gross and disgusting! At least I know how to have fun!

I told Erin, that when this woman loudly proclaim how gross and disgusting it was, Erin should have pointed to me and her dad and said "AND I LEARNED IT FROM THEM!!"

THOMAS'S GARDEN

I've been spending a lot of time working outside in the yard and my two vegetable gardens. My loyal companion has been Thomas. He loves to garden and has an incredible amount of energy for it. This year I bought some more fencing and we have broken new ground! I have always given him his own spot in the garden but this year he is working on a new spot for himself. He dug holes to put up fence posts and has already attached the fencing. He has pulled out all the bushes that seem to grow rampant around here. He is now working on getting out the never ending Pennsylvania rocks. I'm sure he will be ready to plant by the time the last frost hits us.

Its great to have his company while I struggle through the bushes, roots and rocks in my own area. We have an informal contest of who pulled out the longest root. I think I currently hold that record but didn't measure the winning root. We both have a love hate relationship with all those rocks because although they can be frustrating, its also very satisfying to pull out a really big one. We probably should make an audio tape of all the huffing and puffing because it would be funny to play back later.

I think the best part for me is to see Thomas's pride that he's accomplished so much on his own. He is finally getting old enough and big enough to be able to carry out the dreams that are inside his head. His garden might not be perfect, but its something that is all his!

TWELVE TIMES FACTS

Here is one of the example's that I read to the kids when I went into the class room. I'm of course "Mrs. H".


I don’t know but I’ve been told
Mrs. H. is getting old

She has told us she still knows
How multiplying numbers goes

I will ask her to prove to me
Then I promise to let her be

The twelve times facts are real tough
If she knows them that will be enough

12 X 1 is equal to 12

That’s too easy give me more
Then I’ll let you out the door

12 X 2 is 24
12 X 3 is 36
12 X 4 is 48

She may be old but she’s doing great

12 X 5 is 60
12 X 6 is 72

I’m really amazed how about you?

12 X 7 is 84
12 X 8 is 96
12 X9 is 108

She better hurry up or she’ll be late

12 X 10 is 120
12 X 11 is 132

My favorite one I’ll say real fast
Then I’ll know I’m done at last

12 X 12 is 144

VOLUNTEERING GONE AWRY?

Well, some how my good intentions in volunteering have gone awry. I have some how manage to become embroiled in the office politics of the school. Sigh. This makes me very unhappy. However, it has made me wonder how do I learn to be the kind of person that doesn't get entwined in these sorts of things? Everyone knows those kind of people, the ones that are "above" this sort of thing. This is definitely something worth working towards.

VOLUNTEERING

I have this belief that volunteering is something that everyone should do. At least a little bit. I don't think its necessary to do it in an "official" capacity. I consider that helping out a neighbor is volunteering. Actually, volunteering in that way may be even more giving because you'll never receive an award or special recognition. Its usually just a quiet thank you from the person you helped. I think the important thing is that you helped someone and knew that you were doing it just to be nice. No ulterior motives.

Mostly, I have volunteered in ways that also make my children happy. By going into their classrooms and helping the teachers. I like this because I feel that if I can make the teachers job easier, it allows them to spend more energy teaching the children and giving them a better education. The added benefit is that my kids always like me to be there.

This year my youngest is in third grade and I still was asked to come in once a week to help out for an hour. In addition to that I wanted to do something to help a larger group of kids with math. I am an engineer who always enjoyed math and it bothers me that so few kids like math. I think when they don't do well, it turns them off. I came up with an idea to put their multiplication tables into rhymes so that they would have more enthusiasm to learn them. In November (2005) I presented this to the principal and head teacher. This was an extreme challenge to me because I cannot stand the principal and have absolutely no respect for him. It required that I go in there and pretend that I did like and respect him. However, I felt that it was something I really wanted to do. I had originally wanted to work with the fifth graders, but he turned me in the direction of third grade. He introduced me to the third grade math coach and I presented my idea to her. She had been hired to help increase the assessment test scores since our school district had scored so poorly. She loved my idea but warned that the teachers have not been very receptive to change. My idea crashed. I was annoyed and bummed out. If our kids are doing so poorly, how could they decline any sort of help? I finally accepted that for whatever reason this was never going to happen.

Then at the end of March, after the state assessment tests had been completed, she came to me and said that now the teachers thought the idea was great. Could I start next week? I have to say that after I got over the shock, I needed to force myself to drum up some enthusiasm. It sounds childish, but I felt that they had their chance to want me. It wasn't right that they treated me this way. So I gritted my teeth and developed my plan. I kept telling myself I was doing it for the kids. That ended up being a good strategy because not every teacher is completely thrilled with me being there. I'm having trouble with that because I feel since I am spending my time and not getting paid for it, they could show a little appreciation....and this is where my internal battle begins because although my feelings are hurt, I realize this goes against my general philosophy about volunteering. To do it just to be a good person. Some of the teachers and the math coach are showing me a lot of appreciation and for that I am grateful. I never care about a big show of appreciation, actually I prefer to keep a low profile. Its just nice to know that you are wanted. That way you know that what you are doing is valuable. I know that a truly good person would be like Mother Theresa, but I doubt I will ever get there!

The important thing is that the kids were great. They seemed excited and were happy that I came in. That is what makes it all worth it.

GLASSES?

I've always loved reading but for the past six months I just have not been able to get into a good book. I usually read Stephen King or Dean Koontz but in an attempt to find something I can sink my teeth into I have branched out to John Katzenbach. I'm on a second book by him, but I have to admit that I struggled through the first one. Since I have to say I liked the first book, I looked for other reasons that I might be having trouble reading. I notice that I get very tired and distracted everytime I start to read. I began to think it could possibly be because I was spending a lot of time trying to position the book so I was able to focus. I've known for awhile that reading glasses were in my near future.

Last night after picking Thomas up at track we made a quick side trip to Walmart's pharmacy section. It turned into quite a humorous field trip as I tried on various pairs of glasses. I knew it would be difficult since I've never had to wear glasses and thought I looked weird in most of them. Before I started trying them on, I read the instructions for picking out a pair. I couldn't tell you what they said because although I could read them without any trouble I had no idea what they meant. There was also a chart that told you which glasses to try depending on your age. I decided to just try them on and see how things looked. Once again, I am young for my age because I needed the lightest prescription that was for people under 40 years old!

I know I complain a lot about getting old but really, its not that big of a deal for me. I find the real problem is the change. I've always had 20/20 vision and this idea that I need glasses to read is a big change. I'm happy with myself that I'm not a person that refuses to admit I need glasses. Its just a weird concept.

IMPERFECTIONS

I once read that whenever we criticize someone else, we have just set that as a standard that we feel we must hold ourselves to. I find this very interesting. This idea has made me think about how I judge others. If we judge others too harshly, we will then be just as harsh with ourselves. More and more I have come to accept the imperfections in others and also myself. I find it's easier for me to accept other people's flaws. I'm beginning to be able to accept my own. I don't always have to do everything right. I can make mistakes. I can move on. Day to day existence is much easier when you can practice this.

Human beings can get angry, annoyed, grumpy. Human beings can be weak. Human beings can make the wrong choices.

I am a human being.

COMPETITION

I've never been a super competitive person although some people have said I get too serious when I play cards. I was never on any sports teams and I was never serious enough to be in any academic competitions. It's sometimes fun to win, but winning has never been very important to me. Once I had kids I started to watch them play various sports or enter certain contests. I would always do my part to cheer them on. When my son was on cross country, I would usually stay until the last runner on the team came acrossed the finish line so I could yell out "good job". I would get that feeling of pride when one of my kids did well.

Recently, I've have been really analyzing what competition is truly about. I've watched the people who really want to win. I've come to the conclusion that competition is never a good thing. Competition is sort of like sugar. It seems like a good thing because it tastes so good but it really isn't. The only time that a cup of sugar would be a good thing, is if the person was going to die without it. Is there a situation that someone would die without competition? Like sugar, competition can be in a person's life without doing great harm. Consumed in moderation, sugar doesn't damage the body but other than providing a quick fix of energy and happiness it really doesn't help us. In the same sense we can participate in games where we keep score but the happiness we feel when we win is not really a true and lasting happiness. How can it be, when that happiness is dependent on someone else being unhappy (the losing team)? How can that be a good thing? I'm a winner because you are a loser! As I said, in moderation, competition may not leave long lasting damage but after much thought I can not think of any situation when its good.

I understand the argument that people say competition teaches kids discipline and to work hard. That is what practice teaches them, not the competition. We teach kids that the competition should be the motivator. Practice hard and when it comes to the competition you will win. Work hard and you will succeed by winning. What's wrong with that? Nothing is wrong with teaching kids to work hard to reach a goal. It's just that I don't think that the goal of winning is beneficial. Its really about saying that someone is great because they beat someone else. You can't win without labeling someone else as a loser. What if that loser worked even harder than the winners but lost because they had less natural talent? What are you saying to them? You worked really hard but you are still a loser? And what happens to the winner when they can no longer win? Without a doubt, competition is an extremely effective motivator, but that doesn't make it healthy.

We are inspired by winners. We watch the Olympics and think we want to emulate those outstanding athletes. On the surface, that seems great. What's wrong with wanting to strive for a gold medal? What happens when you base your entire life on winning that gold medal and you don't? Maybe I should also ask, what happens when you do win the gold medal? Its hard for me to understand the value of basing your life on winning a small round metal thing to hang around your neck. Standing in front of crowds of people cheering you on must feel great but in the back of mind I'm always wondering what happens when the crowds go home. People don't cheer the losers but sometimes I think that they fare better. When they pick up the pieces of their life and move on, they learn a valuable lesson. Hopefully, they see that winning is not that important.

My children are still involved in activities that require some level of competition. Its almost impossible to find anything that is totally free of competition. I am not a person who parents in extremes so I would never forbid my children to participate in these things. I will still be there to cheer them on. However, I do let them know how I feel and try to teach them to be aware of the drawbacks. Competition is ingrained in our society on a primal level. It relates back to the Darwin Theory (survival of the fittest). I can't change this so I choose to teach my children to find their place in the world as it is. I teach them to set their own personal goals not based on being better than other people. I teach them that not only the fittest need to survive. The winners can reach down and pick up the losers and carry them acrossed the finish line.

TAGGED?

I see I've been "tagged with a meme". Now that I think I know what the heck that is....hee hee...I guess I will actually do it.

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they are any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they’re listening to.

I tend to like a wide variety of music so it should be a weird list. The last songs I listened to and turned up loud were the Entertainer and the Maple Leaf Rag by Scott Joplin. These are a couple of songs that I can close my eyes to and just enjoy the incredible talent.

Another piano piece that I totally enjoy is Linus and Lucy by Vince Guaraldi - this is that well known Charlie Brown song that Snoopy boogies to. I've always liked Snoopy's coolness and I just love this song. Vince Guaraldi looks a bit geeky on the CD cover, but to me that's the absolute epitome of coolness. Its a tough song to play and he's very talented.

Two songs by Supertramp that I've always enjoyed are The Logical Song and Lord Is It Mine. The Logical Song because its so true that we are expected to grow up and become serious and take responsibility for so many things that we lose that "magical" side of life. Lord Is It Mine because I often need to be by myself and have alone time.

Rodgers and Hammerstein's song Edelweiss from the Sound of Music can bring me to tears. I just find it incredibly sad when the father is singing it at the end of the movie and he is sad because he knows he is being forced to flee his country. Right after that his entire family comes on stage to sing the song with him and this gives him the strength to go on. I think of their hardships everytime I listen to that song.

One of my favorite singers is George Thorogood. I love his deep raspy voice. Although I love many of his songs, one of my favorites is The Sky Is Crying...."...look at the tears roll down the street..." So cool.

I guess I've cheated a little bit because I haven't been listening to much music lately, but promise to listen to all these songs today. Snow Day!!! I don't really know seven people to "tag" myself so guess this will end here.

REALLY?

I always wonder when I hear a parent that is describing their parenting methods, what is really happening in their house. When they say "I sit Suzy down in her timeout chair and explain to her why she can't poke a pen into her baby brother's eye", is that really what happens? Sometimes I was that calm. It seems like most times I would scream something like "Oh My GOD, what were you thinking, you could have blinded him for life and then you'd be sorry, you'd have to lead him around the rest of his life and you'd know it was all YOUR fault, blah, blah blah..." After I got myself under control I'd say, "Sorry for overreacting but I'm a bit stressed out....but that doesn't mean that what you did was okay. You should still feel incredibly guilty!"

These days I don't do that as much but its probably because the kids behave most of the time. They seem to have an incredibly guilty conscience. I'm not sure why.

A SLIPPERY SLOPE

Everyone wants to be loved. A lot of a person's life is spent trying to do things so others will like and love them. We do favors for our friends. We volunteer in the community. We put on a cheerful face and say hello to strangers. Then in return we expect them to show appreciation. We expect them to think that we are good people. We expect them to like us and say good things about us. What happens when others don't appreciate the wonderful things we are doing? What happens when they reject us? That slippery slope. When we put our happiness in the hands of others, we are more often than not, disappointed.

I think the perfect relationship is one where a person already loves you, then you do nice things for them because you love them. Its perfect because when you wake up grumpy, you don't have to work at making them love you. They just do. They see your grumpy mood and may even try to do something special to make you feel better. The next day you can wake up and go back to being nice without worrying that you've lost their love. In the ideal world this kind of love is waiting at the bottom of that slippery slope.

I'm happy down at the bottom, I gave up trying to go up. I got too many bruises.

COOL CAT DRINKING HIS MORNING CUP OF JOE

By Sarah

9 years old

DON'T YOU JUST HATE BUSYBODIES?

Last week there was one really nice day where the kids were wearing short sleeved shirts and I only had to wear a sweatshirt. It was so great that we took Beau and all went for a walk together. We ended up down by the lake watching the water flow over the dam. There was open water by the dam and where the ice started it was super thin. So, being the kids we are we decided to throw rocks at the ice so it would break off and we could watch the icebergs flow over the dam. We were having a great time but you know how people tell you they felt like they were being watched? Well, I would occasionally glance around because I felt that eyes were upon us. I eventually just figured I was being paranoid.

This week I found out that I wasn't being paranoid! The community newsletter came out. This is what was in it:

"DAM SAFETY Children were observed on the damn weir last week. It appeared that they were throwing stones into the lake. The dam and the surrounding area are off limits to pedestrian traffic. This is a safety and insurance issue. And please refrain from throwing objects in the lake from the dam, the beach or your private dock. Thank you for your cooperation on these issues from your family and your guests."

Just so you know, our lake was formed when the Army Corp of Engineers blocked a creek using earth and on the very edge is what I call the dam - the spillway where the water flows over. We were on the earthen part and I'm not sure how anyone could see that we were being unsafe. We live in a community with a few busybodies who have nothing better to do with their time than to worry about kids throwing rocks into the lake. I like their spelling of dam, maybe they really wanted to put that word in front of the word "children" so it would read "dam_ children"!!

I REALLY CAN'T STAND BUSYBODIES!!

IS EVERYONE REALLY BEAUTIFUL?

I like to surf through blogs quite a bit. Whenever I come acrossed an interesting blog, in my mind's eye, I picture the author as good looking with a wonderful personality. I'm starting to realize that this may be a case of me looking through a pair of rose colored glasses. The real world is filled with normal looking people with a lot of annoying little quirks. Why should the blogging world be any different? Chances are the blogs I am reading are written by people just like me. They are probably battling with a few extra pounds, a messy hairdo and numerous other real life imperfections. Actually, I really don't have any problem with people seeing me. I'm okay with all my "imperfections", its who I am. So with that.....VOILA! Here I am!

CRAZY KIDS

I see that when I scanned these pictures into the computer they came out a little crooked but since I think they are all a bit crazy, it seemed appropriate!

CRAZY ERIN

CRAZY THOMAS

CRAZY TOM

SO SAD

Artist: Sarah 9 years old, February 2006

Our conversation:

Sarah: Mom, do you like my picture?
Me: Yes, it came out great!
Sarah: Do you want to know why she's crying?
Me: Sure, why?
Sarah: Her mom died and she's sad. That's her Dad's hand reaching down to comfort her......or she has a really big pimple, some girls cry about that.

DOES DUST MEAN YOUR HOUSE IS FILTHY?

Last night I was watching wife swap, a show where families exchange wives. The "clean" wife showed up at the "messy" wife's house and remarked how filthy things were. They showed handprints in the dust that had accumulated on the TV. Hmmm. The clean wife was so horrified that she had the house fumigated.

This is a picture of one of the TVs in my house. Aren't there more important things in life than making sure there isn't any dust on your TV? Maybe not, see you later, I've got to go dust.

FUNNY KID THINGS

FUNNY ERIN THING:
On the way to eat at Red Lobster for my birthday, Erin was talking about what kind of car she wants when she gets older. We all know she wants a red Corvette convertible. What we didn't know is that she thinks she will be a responsible driver but she's not sure. I guess she doesn't want to make any promises she can't keep.

FUNNY THOMAS THING:
When Thomas was two years old we were pouring some concrete. We wanted to put his handprints and Erin's footprints on the edge of the pad we were making. He didn't want to do it. At the time we couldn't understand what could be so scarey about that so we forced his little hands to do it through all his screaming and crying. Just recently Thomas told me that he remembered doing it and I asked him why he had been so upset. He said that he thought that he would get stuck in it!! Apparently, we must have traumatized him quite a bit for him to remember something that happened when he was two!

FUNNY SARAH THING:
For my birthday, Sarah bought me a toilet bowl brush. Quite a nice one that has a dolphin picture on it. It is for the beach house. I guess she can't stand looking at the old rusted one that I have there now. Maybe I am more funny than Sarah because I actually was happy with that gift! It even took me awhile to realize that its going to be a funny home video of me opening and admiring a toilet bowl brush!

WHAT'S UP!

I've been neglecting my blog....

We've been busy. Thomas competed in the regional "Math Counts" competition and his team of 4 "mathletes" won first place! They will go on to compete in the state competition where the top four mathletes will go on to the nationals in Arlington, Virginia. He's a bit like me when it comes to competition and has been telling me all along that he is "in it for the math not the competition". Don't get me wrong, he's happy to win but would have been just as happy if he didn't. When you love something like math, its fun to be surrounded by the few other kids who love it too. In a way we both have a part of us that would like the competition part to be over - you know - yeah we won, let's go home!

I've been planning a big camping trip to Disney World and its keeping me pretty busy. I've made a lot of reservations but I still have a bit of stuff to do. Since the kids don't get much time off from school we will have to go in June. I know, HOT! I've survived June and August in Florida before and I can do it again!!!

Lately I have been dealing with a lot of little frustrations and its been getting me down a bit. You know how that goes, nothing big but all those little things add up until you realize that you are walking around with a constant headache! I think a few of them will work out soon so hopefully I will not have to replenish my supply of Advil!

Oh yeah, I turned 42 on tuesday....old, old, old. Part of me doesn't mind getting older but .....

LADY BUG, LADY BUG FLY AWAY HOME

Pennsylvania seems to have an over abundance of lady bugs and they always swarm in the fall. Some of the thousands that literally coat the outside of our house every fall seem to find small cracks to make it inside and spend the winter. As a result, I have lady bugs flying around my house all the time. Most other people I talk to are driven crazy by these "bugs". They kill them and even vacuum them up when they are still alive. I have taken the more gentle approach of living in harmony with them. A fact that my son, Thomas, didn't appreciate the day he ran acrossed the kitchen and ended up with a lady bug in his mouth! Lady bugs are so cute, how could I just kill them? So far none have ended up in my coffee mug like that darn carpenter ant that I almost drank one day. Even if one does I will forgive them!

You'd think that is all I'd have to say about lady bugs, but no, the story goes on (and on and on)! Recently just before I headed off to bed I saw a lady bug on the edge of the pot that I am using to try to grow a cherry tomato plant. She was walking around the rim of the pot and since it is a circle, she just kept going and going and going. I felt sorry for that little lady bug, on the treadmill of life. Just circling and never getting anywhere. Don't we all feel that way sometimes? I didn't try to stop her but just wondered if she would still be there the next morning. The next day she was gone. I wonder if she flew home to check to see if her house was on fire and make sure her children were okay. I'm hoping that she went on vacation.

FOR ERIN, BECAUSE SHE NEEDS THIS RIGHT NOW

Erin is the kind of person who is so easy to be around. That's why I love to just hang out with her and do nothing. When I am in that kind of lazy mood, there is nothing better than the two of us laying in bed and watching MTV. Yes, I know she is only 11 and a good mother wouldn't let her watch those kids cursing and being wild....but we love it.

Erin is also the kind of kid that everyone would want to have. She is so well rounded. She is talented at the things that she loves. She cares about people. If I had a dime for everytime someone has told me how much they like her, I would be rich. I always just tell them that yes, I think she is great too! In my mind I just think about how I am so glad that I am the lucky one to have her as MY daughter!

I am not a person to believe in supernatural things, but Erin is so intuned to my thoughts and feelings she often times "reads my mind"! When I was deciding that we could possibly get another kitten, she was the one that immediately realized from the tone in my voice that I was thinking about it. Recently, she somehow seemed to know that I was thinking about going on a trip to Disney World. She says it was only a lucky guess, but how did she know to guess Disney?! I think that must be why we can be around each other so easily. Maybe we think alike.

Its not just me that she reads so well. Its people in general. I'm sure that she will eventually start a career where she works with people and I think in her lifetime many people will remember her kindness. I'm sure she will make a difference in many people's lives no matter what she chooses to do.

Another thing that I admire about my daughter is her enthusiasm. When she wants to do something, she jumps in with both feet and throws her heart and soul into it. She has the ability to relish every simple moment in things that she wants to do. When she was given a minor part in the school play in the fall, her words were "this is the greatest experience that I've ever had!" I remember that another girl who didn't get the part she wanted, quit in anger, while Erin just lived the moment she was given. Once again, I have to say how lucky I am to be able to be her mother. I get to sit back and absorb HER happiness and make it my own!

These are just a few things that I love about Erin. These are not things that I've "trained" into her. This is who she is as a person. And I very much like that person!

ALWAYS A PROJECT

Angry Prophet asked if we had another project planned for our house. Well, there is always another project planned and usually two or three in progress. A friend of ours who works with Tom had been fed up with his worn out carpeting. Like us he was hesitating to replace it until he was dog free. One day when he and his wife could no longer stand it, they ripped it up leaving bare plywood. When they finished the job they said "there, now our house is just like Tom and Elise's house"!

P.S. I haven't been posting much but thanks everyone for all the nice comments!

TOO BAD MY KIDS AREN'T JOCKS

Yeah, too bad! Me and my two middle schoolers have discussed whether they are nerds. I think the usual reply is "well, I guess so". They certainly fall far short of "jocks". Erin dances ballet and tap and Thomas runs, Forest Gump style. Remember, Forest was fast and had incredible endurance. Thomas may have been the smallest kid on the cross country team but he was also the fastest. Yes, brag, brag....I hate when I look like I'm bragging so I will stop now. Anyway, dancing and running do not really put you in the "jock" category. Now I will finally get to my point. I secretly think it is super hilarious that other parents feel sorry for you when your kids are not jocks. This feeling of pity seems to be magnified when your kids are also smart. I say "secretly" because how could I laugh in these parents face! Let me give you an example of an actual conversation I had with a mother of jocks. I was walking through the school to pick up Thomas and met her there.

Mother Jock: Hi Elise
Me: Hi, are you watching your son on the wrestling team?
Mother Jock: Yes
Me: I'm here to pick up Thomas, he's on the math team along with the six other kids in the school that actually like math. (This was said in a joking way with a laugh)
Mother Jock: Oh, that's alright, I say that as long as they show an interest in something its okay. (This was said in a way that indicated that I shouldn't be ashamed that Thomas liked math)
Me: chuckle

I mean, really, do people think I would rather have kids that were popular jocks!!??!! Yes, they do, because that seems to be very important in this culture. I laugh everytime someone tries to make me feel better about not being the parent of a star athlete. On the other hand its somewhat sad that people really feel popularity is the key to success. Its hard to feel sympathy for them through my laughter.

I believe the real keys to success don't lie in popularity or high intelligence. I believe a person must have a combination of confidence, happiness, the ability to make good decisions and a really good work ethic. These are the things that I watch for in my kids. Of course I also make sure they are not outcasts and they are able to make friends. I'm also glad that they have the advantage of being pretty smart. Happiness is the most important characteristic because I could never consider someone successful if they weren't happy.

Keep on smiling!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

People would be jealous of the festivities here in our household! To start with, there were nonalcoholic strawberry daquiris. First with just strawberries, then with banana, then finally with vanilla yogurt! Woohoo! After that we watched a series of tsunami shows on the discovery channel I rotated the kids through a wash cycle to help keep them awake (a bath for Sarah and showers for Thomas and Erin). After they came out we continued our TV viewing with volcano shows. We will definitely enter 2006 prepared for a natural disaster! Some where in between shows Erin could no longer wait for the fake champagne and we opened both bottles of Weis brand's fine fake champagne! Tom tried to figure out what year it was made but for some reason it wasn't marked on the bottles, hmm, wonder why! We all agreed that the fizzy apple cider was much better than the apple cranberry fizzy stuff! We made our toast to 2006 around 9:00 pm just in case we all fell asleep. BUT WE DIDN'T!! We started watching Times Square around 11:30 pm and watched the ball drop on the channel that had Regis whining away. We thought that would be better than listening to the girl who was with Carson Daley rambling on and on and on. Unfortunately, when the 2006 sign lit up, the camera was focused on Regis counting down out of synch with the actual countdown and not on the 2006 sign! We did see the ball dropping though!

BEST WISHES TO ALL!!