COMPETITION

I've never been a super competitive person although some people have said I get too serious when I play cards. I was never on any sports teams and I was never serious enough to be in any academic competitions. It's sometimes fun to win, but winning has never been very important to me. Once I had kids I started to watch them play various sports or enter certain contests. I would always do my part to cheer them on. When my son was on cross country, I would usually stay until the last runner on the team came acrossed the finish line so I could yell out "good job". I would get that feeling of pride when one of my kids did well.

Recently, I've have been really analyzing what competition is truly about. I've watched the people who really want to win. I've come to the conclusion that competition is never a good thing. Competition is sort of like sugar. It seems like a good thing because it tastes so good but it really isn't. The only time that a cup of sugar would be a good thing, is if the person was going to die without it. Is there a situation that someone would die without competition? Like sugar, competition can be in a person's life without doing great harm. Consumed in moderation, sugar doesn't damage the body but other than providing a quick fix of energy and happiness it really doesn't help us. In the same sense we can participate in games where we keep score but the happiness we feel when we win is not really a true and lasting happiness. How can it be, when that happiness is dependent on someone else being unhappy (the losing team)? How can that be a good thing? I'm a winner because you are a loser! As I said, in moderation, competition may not leave long lasting damage but after much thought I can not think of any situation when its good.

I understand the argument that people say competition teaches kids discipline and to work hard. That is what practice teaches them, not the competition. We teach kids that the competition should be the motivator. Practice hard and when it comes to the competition you will win. Work hard and you will succeed by winning. What's wrong with that? Nothing is wrong with teaching kids to work hard to reach a goal. It's just that I don't think that the goal of winning is beneficial. Its really about saying that someone is great because they beat someone else. You can't win without labeling someone else as a loser. What if that loser worked even harder than the winners but lost because they had less natural talent? What are you saying to them? You worked really hard but you are still a loser? And what happens to the winner when they can no longer win? Without a doubt, competition is an extremely effective motivator, but that doesn't make it healthy.

We are inspired by winners. We watch the Olympics and think we want to emulate those outstanding athletes. On the surface, that seems great. What's wrong with wanting to strive for a gold medal? What happens when you base your entire life on winning that gold medal and you don't? Maybe I should also ask, what happens when you do win the gold medal? Its hard for me to understand the value of basing your life on winning a small round metal thing to hang around your neck. Standing in front of crowds of people cheering you on must feel great but in the back of mind I'm always wondering what happens when the crowds go home. People don't cheer the losers but sometimes I think that they fare better. When they pick up the pieces of their life and move on, they learn a valuable lesson. Hopefully, they see that winning is not that important.

My children are still involved in activities that require some level of competition. Its almost impossible to find anything that is totally free of competition. I am not a person who parents in extremes so I would never forbid my children to participate in these things. I will still be there to cheer them on. However, I do let them know how I feel and try to teach them to be aware of the drawbacks. Competition is ingrained in our society on a primal level. It relates back to the Darwin Theory (survival of the fittest). I can't change this so I choose to teach my children to find their place in the world as it is. I teach them to set their own personal goals not based on being better than other people. I teach them that not only the fittest need to survive. The winners can reach down and pick up the losers and carry them acrossed the finish line.