WHAT EVER WILL BE WILL BE

I lay in bed last night thinking about my children's futures.

I don't want to be the kind of parent that tries to totally control what they do with their life but on the other hand I want to help them make wise decisions. I don't want them spending their life struggling financially because they didn't go to college, yet I realize that many successful people did not go to college. I do realize that those successful people without some sort of secondary education are few and far between. So with that in mind, college is pretty much expected with the understanding that when the time comes the ultimate decision is their own.

Mostly what I was thinking about last night was that if I let them follow their hearts they will choose what suits them best. I know this because every little kid says "when I grow up, I want to be..." and when I think of the things that they have chosen it totally fits their personalities.

Thomas has shown an interest in engineering and I can imagine him growing up and becoming an engineer or scientist. He just loves learning new information and figuring out how things work. Erin can't decide, but at one time she wanted to be a teacher or nurse. She has such a nurturing personality that she'll do well in a field like that. Sarah wants to write AND illustrate children's books. She is so creative and funky that she should definitely pursue some sort of artistic career.

It would be easy for my husband and me to see Thomas become an engineer because we are both engineers. We will need to learn to step back and let Erin and Sarah choose their own paths. If you know engineers, you would realize how foreign artists can be to us!

Que sera sera...

IN SEARCH OF THE PERFECT BANANA

DANG IT! I just started writing about how I love to eat a perfect banana and you can guess why I just had to stop. I was also going to write about how I love perfect grapes too but now that I think about it, that just wouldn't sound right either. I was even going to write about how I used to love them before I had kids and that some how after I had kids I seemed to stop doing anything for myself including eating perfect bananas and grapes (much laughter inserted here) but those kids of mine read this blog...

Reminds me of one time when I was in highschool a teacher asked us to come up with a name for a mountain and one girl unwittingly named her mountain "Mount Me".

DRUG AND ALCOHOL TESTING

My son has started running cross country and on monday he has to go for drug and alcohol testing. Its supposed to be random, but it sounded like the entire team needs to be tested. I don't think that it should be allowed. When I told my son this he didn't understand why I felt this way. He is only in 7th grade so when I tried to explain it to him I needed to think in simple terms.

I explained to him that in order for the police to search you or your home, they need to have a probable cause. I explained what this meant and told him, just because you are on a sports team, doesn't mean that the school has a probable cause for suspecting that you have taken drugs or used alcohol. We can't live in a world that allows the people in power to decide that they can investigate anyone they want for whatever they want. If they don't need a valid reason to suspect someone of breaking the law, this opens the door for them to decide to harass people based on their race or religion, or for that matter any reason that they take a hankering to. I know many people would say that this is a big jump from drug and alcohol testing done on athletes. I just don't see the connection between someone wanting to be on an extracurricular activity (they include all activities in this "random" testing) and assuming that they may need to be tested for drugs. It's just a sneaky way for the school to try to tackle the problem of drugs in the schools. As far as I am concerned its the wrong way.

The school says that extracurricular activities are a priviledge and that the kids don't have to be involved in them so its justified for them to do the testing. Sounds like a cockamaney justification to me!

HEARTBURN CURE

When I was pregnant with my second child a woman in the checkout line at the grocery store gave me a weird cure for heartburn. You know that kind that really burns you in the center of your chest?! She told me to get a cup of hot water, as hot as you can stand it and drink it right down as quickly as you can. Since I was pregnant and didn't want to be taking medications, I tried it and for me it worked. I just used hot water from the tap. Sometimes I have to do it twice and I think once I had to do it three times but it has always worked even on the worse heartburn. I usually hesitate telling people because I always thought it was such a weird thing and no one would believe it would work. I am writing it today because I just had a chance to try it with my 11 year old daughter. She threw up yesterday a few times and today she had heartburn, probably everything is irritated. I of course didn't have the water as hot as it would be for me and she used only about 4 ounces of water, but after only two tries her heartburn was almost gone. She said hot water tastes yucky so didn't want to try that third time.

For me this cure actually works better than any medication. I'm always amazed that I can be in a lot of pain and it really makes it go away almost immediately. I only get heartburn occasionally and I wouldn't recommend this to anyone with chronic heartburn - you should see a doctor.

If you happen upon my blog and actually try this and it works for you, PLEASE let me know by commenting because I am really curious if it would work for others.

THE SIMPLE LIFE

I have come to realize that people see me as simple. People have even called me simple. Poor simple me.

Have you ever read one of those books where the big city person moves to the country and just loves the simple life and the simple country people? Somehow underlying all that admiration for the simple country folk is a certain feeling of superiority that they carry. As if the simple folk would not understand the complexities that they've left behind. As if a country person's IQ might not be high enough to navigate the more high tech world that they came from.

Some of us simple folk have a secret but you wouldn't believe us if we told you.

You can't learn to be simple. It's no use pretending to be simple. You just have to be simple.

It's harder than you think.

SEEING STARS

Just as school was ending in June, my son Thomas decided to spend his life savings on a telescope. So after much research on telescopes he decided on spending almost $300 on a Skyquest XT6.
Last night I talked him into bringing his telescope outside to look at the stars with me. I offered to lug the 34 pound monstrosity out to the front lawn. I was wondering about one star that was twinkling more than usual. I was hoping that it was a satellite but it wasn't moving. We looked at it and it was just your run of the mill star. Thomas told me that it was twinkling more because the sky was not that clear. No clouds, but not that crisp clear kind of sky that is best for star gazing. Since we had the telescope set up, we decided to peek around a bit. As we were watching an airplane fly by, I spotted a satellite!! I ran around like a mad woman finding our binoculars to see it a little better. He worked on viewing it with his telescope. How exciting! I grabbed a towel to lay on the ground because my neck was getting stiff. Thomas got his own towel and settled down next to me. We ended up spotting a few satellites (for your info a satellite looks like a star moving acrossed the sky and can be seen with your naked eye, try watching for them some time) and Thomas pointed out a few stars he knew and a planet or two. Thomas was happy to see some "shooting stars" that I now know are not stars at all. A meteoroid is a small piece of matter that orbits around the sun. A meteor is a meteoroid that is falling through the earths atmosphere (a "shooting star"). A meteorite is one that doesn't completely burn up in the atmosphere and reaches earth. I'd love to find one!
Thomas's new fascination has been fun for me too. I see he likes to teach me things that he knows. I've enjoyed learning some new things, but I've enjoyed the time with him even more. Someday it will be a different woman laying next to him. I wondered how long he'd continue to be willing to lay on a towel next to me gazing up at the universe. As I gaze into infinity, I let my mind imagine that these moments will also last for infinity.

HENNY PENNY

I'm not sure why Henny Penny ended up being more remembered than Chicken Little but we all remember that they were worried about the sky falling. You can read their story by clicking here. Just remember, while you are worrying about the sky falling, the fox might get you! Everyone needs to find an umbrella to shield us from life's unfounded worries...

MORE ON JUDGING

The other day I published the Symptoms of Inner Peace and I've still been thinking about the the symptoms having to do with judging. I see that actually there are four of them that really go along with this. The one about losing interest in judging self and others and the next two, the ones about losing interest in conflict and in interpreting the actions of others. These have always been important to me. Oh how I wish that I could stop worrying about what others think about me. Well, maybe its not that I worry about what others think about me, but it bothers me and annoys me that others judge me. When I think of this, I think about how I judge other people everyday. For me, its not enough to be accepting of what's politically correct. I'm talking about the little ways that we judge others. When we look at someone else and say "at least I'm not that bad". I'm thinner than that person, I'm a better mother, I'm stronger, I'm more organized, my house is cleaner.... When we compare ourself to others, it seems innocent enough, but we are still judging them in order to make ourselves feel better. I guess I torture myself because I am aware of other people doing this to me. Then I end up resenting the fact that they are using my inadequacies to bolster their own confidence. Along these same lines, sometimes someone makes an observation about us and we think "why did that make me feel unhappy, was it an insult, it doesn't really seem like an insult". If we start analyzing what they said we find that it is an insult disguised as a compliment.

I'm trying to find a way to deal with these situations and I am really at a loss as to what to do. I've decided that the snappy comeback is not what I want to do. I feel that would just be another way of judging the same people who are judging me. I realize that saying nothing is what I want to do but that leaves me with the thoughts inside my head. The thoughts of annoyance and resentment. It usually goes like this for me. First I think of how I am much better than they think I am. Then it snowballs into me realizing that I'm so much better than they realize that I'm actually better than them. Not exactly a symptom of inner peace. I'd call it more of a symptom of inner superiority. It may make me feel better in the short term and shows that I have confidence. However, its a false sense of confidence. One that doesn't give a lasting sense of peace. I can't allow my confidence to be based on being better than other people.

INNER PEACE

THE SYMPTOMS OF INNER PEACE

1. A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than from fears based on past experiences.
2. An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
3. A loss of interest in judging self.
4. A loss of interest in judging others.
5. A loss of interest in conflict.
6. A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.
7. A loss of ability to worry (this is a very serious symptom).
8. Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
9. Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.
10. Frequent attacks of smiling through the eyes of the heart.
11. Increasing susceptibility to love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.
12. An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than to make them happen.

By Mr. and Mrs. Jeff Rockwell

This is written on a scrap of paper that I have been carrying around for years. I am not a person who saves a lot of things but each time I read this, it makes so much sense to me. Over the years I have sometimes had some of the symptoms and sometimes they go away. I've never had all the symptoms at the same time. Some of them are difficult for me to accept. How can I be spontaneous when I know bad things could happen? How can I extend and accept love freely when sometimes I feel unlovable? The two about losing interest in judging self and others seem especially important to me but also are the most difficult to incorporate into everyday life. When I feel judged I automatically get defensive and judge right back. It would help me immensly if I could lose my interest in interpreting the actions of others. There are some that are sometimes very strong in me and other times seem to vanish. Like the one about appreciation, sometimes I feel so lucky and other times so unhappy with my life, yet things haven't changed at all. All the unhappiness is just inside me. There have been times that I read this list everyday and times that it gets misplaced for awhile. No matter where the list ends up this elusive peace has been my lifetime goal.

peace.