I don't know what it is lately with Oprah but she is apparently on some sort of health kick. I'm sick of Dr. Oz. I don't watch Oprah all the time but it seems that every time I do its Dr. Oz! I guess maybe I'm just experiencing some sour grapes. I have not been healthy lately and no matter what I eat I'm not going to get better. No, even if I drink some green drink made out of celery, cucumbers and spinach I am not going to suddenly feel great. I guess I resent someone telling me that I can "change my genes" if I just do what they recommend. I swear, I heard them say that you can change your genes by following his program.
From what I heard, Oprah shares a problem with me. She has a thyroid problem and went on vacation for a month to help her feel better. Hopefully she is also taking medication for it like I am. The medication keeps me alive! I guess it also makes me feel better but lately I have been having a new problem and don't feel well so I can't really tell.
My problem du jour involves a lot of migraines. Three weeks ago I got the first of seven migraines. Writing it here makes it seem so much better than it actually was. Seven migraines in three weeks, piece of cake. If a person who suffers from migraines reads this, they won't think its a piece of cake. I'm not talking about a person who thinks they suffer from migraines when they really don't. A migraine makes it impossible for me to function. I now have Imitrex to treat the migraines. The Imitrex makes the worse pain go away as long as I don't have to do anything and can spend the day resting. But life goes on and its difficult to just rest for 7 days out of three weeks! Migraines are also exhausting and leave me feeling tired for a day or two so I've pretty much spent the past three weeks barely surviving.
So now I'm trying to figure out why I've been getting migraines. I went back to my Endocrinologist and had more blood work done. I found out that my prolactin (hormone) level is up...again. This could be a possible cause of the headaches. We are treating it with a medication that lists one of the side effects as headaches! Sigh. I also read that you shouldn't take migraine medications at the same time as this new medicine so now I have been battling the migraines without meds. Another sigh.
Did I mention this is all making me grumpy?!?!
I am leaving this alone for now and may post again with a more detailed account of what's going on, you know just for posterity!
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Saturday, October 27, 2007
GEOCACHING
Last week I went geocaching for the first time. Basically, geocaching is finding "treasures" hidden by other people by using the coordinates (latitude and longitude) that you can find on a site called geocaching.com. Thomas's 9th grade math teacher (Mr. Math) started doing it about two years ago and now he brings some of his students along with him. He is in the process of turning it into an official school club.
Last Sunday I tagged along on Thomas's first geocaching trip with Mr. Math. I also brought Erin along although I figured Sarah was a little too young to hike the required 6 miles. We met up with Mr. Math at around 9:30 am. He seemed to be bursting out of his skin with excitement. He warned us what to do if we saw a bear (don't run) or even a poisonous snake (stay back). He also said that one of the shorter hikes would bring us through a tunnel and it could get a little tricky. Off we went following behind Mr. Math who was driving a big van that held most of the 10 or so kids that were going.
We ended up in Manunka Chunk, NJ. After checking Mr. Math's GPS unit and talking to some locals we found our way to the start of the hike. This happened to include some very creepy abandoned railroad tunnels that had been carved out of the stone hill. Fortunately, Mr. Math had told us to bring flashlights. We headed down the tunnel that was to the right because Mr. Math warned that the one to the left had some quicksand in it. We occasionally had some water drip on our head as we made it past the big boulders that had fallen from the ceilings. Fortunately, it was only water dropping on our heads and not any rocks! We weaved our way in and out of the puddles until the entire floor was covered in water. No place to go but through it. Finally, we made it through to the other side. Now to look for the geocache! It didn't take us very long to find the green ammo can that was partially covered with a rock. We opened it and saw all the little treasures including a rubber snake. We didn't take anything because the "rules" are that you have to leave something if you take something. We all signed the logbook and turned around to head back. Now, remember, we were with a bunch of 9th graders...."Mr. Math, lets go down the other tunnel!" Now, I think Mr. Math may still be a kid himself because after one feeble "no", he said "what the heck, we can turn around if it gets too bad". So we all headed down the tunnel. The mud quickly became deeper and deeper. When it got up over our shoes, Thomas said "I'm going back". Erin, my more adventurous child decided to keep going. I of course had to accompany Thomas in the other tunnel. Now, my trek down the other tunnel ended up being more creepy than the first time because with only me and Thomas it was much quieter and much darker. As we plugged through the big puddle I heard some splashing and couldn't help but think about those horror movies where something reaches up and pulls you under the water...the others told me that they saw fish and frogs. I couldn't believe there were FISH! They told me that the fish didn't have any eyes - I guess it was too dark to see in there anyways. We got to the end of our tunnel just a bit before the others came out of theirs...they were covered in mud up to their knees! I was just thankful that Erin hadn't lost a sneaker! Everyone was laughing, including Mr. Math. After taking photos of the memory we headed back to the van and our next geocaching stop.
We headed to one of the parking areas at the Delaware Water Gap. We ate our lunch so we would have enough energy for the three mile hike out and three miles back. Consulting his handy dandy GPS Mr. Math led the way. As we came close to the first cache we encountered a bunch of "Muggles". At that time I didn't know what a Muggle was so I stupidly talked to them! I did notice however that Mr. Math was not being his usual friendly self. He quickly pulled us away and in a hushed voice told us that Muggles were people who didn't do geocaching. Now our search would have to be conducted with stealth because if they noticed what we were doing, they might vandalize the cache. Geesh, and to think I had actually spoken to them! We found the cache and decided to head out looking for the next one.
One of the things that Mr. Math told us that he had learned was that it was always best to stay on the trail. If you decided to follow the GPS and go the direct route to a cache you would have to bushwhack and possibly would encounter some impassable terrain. Well, apparently, he didn't learn that lesson very well because off he goes through the bushes. He's quite a fast hiker and as the rest of us struggled to keep up I thought "does he know what he's doing". We encountered more Muggles and he started looking at their map. A topographical map. One that showed that in order to continue in this way we'd have to scale a cliff in order to reach the cache. We weren't exactly lost because we had the GPS, but we weren't exactly going in the right direction either! We decided to go back and drive to a different parking lot where we could attack this from a different direction.
On the way back the kids were excited to see a waterfall. Afterall, it was October and what better month for a swim! They quickly slid down the embankment and waded in. It was not long before we heard a big splash and one of them had "fallen" in. After taking some pictures of what I thought looked a bit like a wet t-shirt contest Mr. Math told them to get their sneakers back on. I saw that we didn't need to climb back up the steep embankment because we could easily pick up the trail by taking a shortcut by the streams edge. Thomas, Erin and I headed off and waited for them on a small wooden bridge. Apparently, Mr. Math didn't check his GPS because he headed back up the steep embankment. They all struggled up after him and then came back down the trail to meet us. I later told Thomas that if he ever goes on another field trip with Mr. Math, he should use his own common sense and keep track of where he is and how to get back! Thomas laughed.
We ended up finding the cache using the other way and continued on to find another cache that was actually hidden at an area visitor's center. We stopped to eat at Wendy's on the way home and everyone happily chatted about what an exciting day it had been. Definitely a fun hobby that we've already continued. Thomas went on another field trip with Mr. Math and we've also found some easier caches on our own. We don't have a GPS unit of our own so we can only search for ones that have more obvious locations. We've brought Sarah with us on our other hunts and she likes it too. I doubt we will ever be as addicted as Mr. Math. He's found over 2000 caches in less than two years! However, I can see this as a fun family thing we will be doing more!
Last Sunday I tagged along on Thomas's first geocaching trip with Mr. Math. I also brought Erin along although I figured Sarah was a little too young to hike the required 6 miles. We met up with Mr. Math at around 9:30 am. He seemed to be bursting out of his skin with excitement. He warned us what to do if we saw a bear (don't run) or even a poisonous snake (stay back). He also said that one of the shorter hikes would bring us through a tunnel and it could get a little tricky. Off we went following behind Mr. Math who was driving a big van that held most of the 10 or so kids that were going.
We ended up in Manunka Chunk, NJ. After checking Mr. Math's GPS unit and talking to some locals we found our way to the start of the hike. This happened to include some very creepy abandoned railroad tunnels that had been carved out of the stone hill. Fortunately, Mr. Math had told us to bring flashlights. We headed down the tunnel that was to the right because Mr. Math warned that the one to the left had some quicksand in it. We occasionally had some water drip on our head as we made it past the big boulders that had fallen from the ceilings. Fortunately, it was only water dropping on our heads and not any rocks! We weaved our way in and out of the puddles until the entire floor was covered in water. No place to go but through it. Finally, we made it through to the other side. Now to look for the geocache! It didn't take us very long to find the green ammo can that was partially covered with a rock. We opened it and saw all the little treasures including a rubber snake. We didn't take anything because the "rules" are that you have to leave something if you take something. We all signed the logbook and turned around to head back. Now, remember, we were with a bunch of 9th graders...."Mr. Math, lets go down the other tunnel!" Now, I think Mr. Math may still be a kid himself because after one feeble "no", he said "what the heck, we can turn around if it gets too bad". So we all headed down the tunnel. The mud quickly became deeper and deeper. When it got up over our shoes, Thomas said "I'm going back". Erin, my more adventurous child decided to keep going. I of course had to accompany Thomas in the other tunnel. Now, my trek down the other tunnel ended up being more creepy than the first time because with only me and Thomas it was much quieter and much darker. As we plugged through the big puddle I heard some splashing and couldn't help but think about those horror movies where something reaches up and pulls you under the water...the others told me that they saw fish and frogs. I couldn't believe there were FISH! They told me that the fish didn't have any eyes - I guess it was too dark to see in there anyways. We got to the end of our tunnel just a bit before the others came out of theirs...they were covered in mud up to their knees! I was just thankful that Erin hadn't lost a sneaker! Everyone was laughing, including Mr. Math. After taking photos of the memory we headed back to the van and our next geocaching stop.
We headed to one of the parking areas at the Delaware Water Gap. We ate our lunch so we would have enough energy for the three mile hike out and three miles back. Consulting his handy dandy GPS Mr. Math led the way. As we came close to the first cache we encountered a bunch of "Muggles". At that time I didn't know what a Muggle was so I stupidly talked to them! I did notice however that Mr. Math was not being his usual friendly self. He quickly pulled us away and in a hushed voice told us that Muggles were people who didn't do geocaching. Now our search would have to be conducted with stealth because if they noticed what we were doing, they might vandalize the cache. Geesh, and to think I had actually spoken to them! We found the cache and decided to head out looking for the next one.
One of the things that Mr. Math told us that he had learned was that it was always best to stay on the trail. If you decided to follow the GPS and go the direct route to a cache you would have to bushwhack and possibly would encounter some impassable terrain. Well, apparently, he didn't learn that lesson very well because off he goes through the bushes. He's quite a fast hiker and as the rest of us struggled to keep up I thought "does he know what he's doing". We encountered more Muggles and he started looking at their map. A topographical map. One that showed that in order to continue in this way we'd have to scale a cliff in order to reach the cache. We weren't exactly lost because we had the GPS, but we weren't exactly going in the right direction either! We decided to go back and drive to a different parking lot where we could attack this from a different direction.
On the way back the kids were excited to see a waterfall. Afterall, it was October and what better month for a swim! They quickly slid down the embankment and waded in. It was not long before we heard a big splash and one of them had "fallen" in. After taking some pictures of what I thought looked a bit like a wet t-shirt contest Mr. Math told them to get their sneakers back on. I saw that we didn't need to climb back up the steep embankment because we could easily pick up the trail by taking a shortcut by the streams edge. Thomas, Erin and I headed off and waited for them on a small wooden bridge. Apparently, Mr. Math didn't check his GPS because he headed back up the steep embankment. They all struggled up after him and then came back down the trail to meet us. I later told Thomas that if he ever goes on another field trip with Mr. Math, he should use his own common sense and keep track of where he is and how to get back! Thomas laughed.
We ended up finding the cache using the other way and continued on to find another cache that was actually hidden at an area visitor's center. We stopped to eat at Wendy's on the way home and everyone happily chatted about what an exciting day it had been. Definitely a fun hobby that we've already continued. Thomas went on another field trip with Mr. Math and we've also found some easier caches on our own. We don't have a GPS unit of our own so we can only search for ones that have more obvious locations. We've brought Sarah with us on our other hunts and she likes it too. I doubt we will ever be as addicted as Mr. Math. He's found over 2000 caches in less than two years! However, I can see this as a fun family thing we will be doing more!
Saturday, October 13, 2007
ENJOYING LIFE
I'm going to talk about the old cliche that mothers lose themselves in motherhood. We tend to be in danger of becoming just someones mother and no longer being ourselves. I'm beginning to realize a side effect of this can be losing our zest for life. I don't really mean being depressed, although that can happen to some people. I mean losing our ability to really enjoy all the little things in life.
The other day I was driving to Thomas and Erin's cross country meet. The meet was almost two hours away and I had already driven there the day before only to be told it was being cancelled due to the thunderstorm that wouldn't let up. So here I was driving that very same long trip again. I had to leave my youngest daughter at home again and she wasn't very happy about me not being with her so I was dealing with that guilt trip. I was also dealing with hunger because I am trying to cut back in order to lose a few pounds I put on because of my under active thyroid. Besides all this I kept thinking about some drama that's been happening on the cross country team because of some nastiness among the girls. I just wish they could all be nice and get along.
As I drove along, probably with a frown on my face, the headache began to creep up my neck threatening to take over my entire head. This is when I started to think about how I don't really enjoy things that I should be enjoying. I like to go to watch my kids run but somehow it becomes an ordeal to just survive. I made myself look at the scenery and hoped the cup of tea I grabbed before I left would help alleviate the headache.
I'd like to end this with a happy ending. I'd like to be able to say that a light bulb went on and I saw how I was wasting my time spinning around in an unhappy vortex. That I've decided to just take the advice of the song "don't worry, be happy". But its not that easy. This motherhood thing is tough.
As I try to type this my daughter Erin is unhappy because she is out of clean cammies and needs one to be able to go to a sleepover tonight.
Those kinds of things are not going away. I still need to keep plugging along making sure all those things that make our lives work get done. I still need to work through the guilt trips.
Now my other daughter Sarah is nagging me for a starburst and we are negotiating the size of the piece of fudge she will have later. Then she wanted to discuss the latest Scholastic Book order. When I snapped, "not now, I'm doing something", she cowered like I'm the meanest mother on earth.
Where was I...
Oh yeah, I'm going to try to enjoy life more. After I make sure everything else is going smoothly. Oh yeah, that's the problem.
Erin is now asking for a clean pillow case.
So what's the answer? When I figure it out I will let you know. In the meantime, just realize that if you sometimes wonder why you don't enjoy things as much as you used to, you are not alone. Its hard for me to enjoy things like I did. A nice vacation? Sounds like a lot of packing for me to do. Going out to eat? Sounds like I'll gain a few more pounds. Spend a night dancing with the girls? The loud music would only make my headache worse, besides I'd have to stay awake past my bedtime. Some alone time without my kids? I'll just miss them!
Do you have the answer?
ADDENDUM: I woke up this morning and read what I had written and posted yesterday. It seems to get a bit muddled, but I think that is perfect. Its perfect because that is what happens in my life. I get everyone wanting something from me and I can never seem to concentrate on one thing. Then it seems like no one is really happy with me. Then I either get a headache or a frown or both. Then I can't really enjoy whatever I'm doing.
By the way, Sarah got to eat the starburst and fudge and later asked for more starburst. When she groaned when I said only one, I told her she could have two. Not long after that she complained of an upset stomach....sigh.
The other day I was driving to Thomas and Erin's cross country meet. The meet was almost two hours away and I had already driven there the day before only to be told it was being cancelled due to the thunderstorm that wouldn't let up. So here I was driving that very same long trip again. I had to leave my youngest daughter at home again and she wasn't very happy about me not being with her so I was dealing with that guilt trip. I was also dealing with hunger because I am trying to cut back in order to lose a few pounds I put on because of my under active thyroid. Besides all this I kept thinking about some drama that's been happening on the cross country team because of some nastiness among the girls. I just wish they could all be nice and get along.
As I drove along, probably with a frown on my face, the headache began to creep up my neck threatening to take over my entire head. This is when I started to think about how I don't really enjoy things that I should be enjoying. I like to go to watch my kids run but somehow it becomes an ordeal to just survive. I made myself look at the scenery and hoped the cup of tea I grabbed before I left would help alleviate the headache.
I'd like to end this with a happy ending. I'd like to be able to say that a light bulb went on and I saw how I was wasting my time spinning around in an unhappy vortex. That I've decided to just take the advice of the song "don't worry, be happy". But its not that easy. This motherhood thing is tough.
As I try to type this my daughter Erin is unhappy because she is out of clean cammies and needs one to be able to go to a sleepover tonight.
Those kinds of things are not going away. I still need to keep plugging along making sure all those things that make our lives work get done. I still need to work through the guilt trips.
Now my other daughter Sarah is nagging me for a starburst and we are negotiating the size of the piece of fudge she will have later. Then she wanted to discuss the latest Scholastic Book order. When I snapped, "not now, I'm doing something", she cowered like I'm the meanest mother on earth.
Where was I...
Oh yeah, I'm going to try to enjoy life more. After I make sure everything else is going smoothly. Oh yeah, that's the problem.
Erin is now asking for a clean pillow case.
So what's the answer? When I figure it out I will let you know. In the meantime, just realize that if you sometimes wonder why you don't enjoy things as much as you used to, you are not alone. Its hard for me to enjoy things like I did. A nice vacation? Sounds like a lot of packing for me to do. Going out to eat? Sounds like I'll gain a few more pounds. Spend a night dancing with the girls? The loud music would only make my headache worse, besides I'd have to stay awake past my bedtime. Some alone time without my kids? I'll just miss them!
Do you have the answer?
ADDENDUM: I woke up this morning and read what I had written and posted yesterday. It seems to get a bit muddled, but I think that is perfect. Its perfect because that is what happens in my life. I get everyone wanting something from me and I can never seem to concentrate on one thing. Then it seems like no one is really happy with me. Then I either get a headache or a frown or both. Then I can't really enjoy whatever I'm doing.
By the way, Sarah got to eat the starburst and fudge and later asked for more starburst. When she groaned when I said only one, I told her she could have two. Not long after that she complained of an upset stomach....sigh.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
NEW THINGS
Lately I have been doing a couple of new things. At the end of the summer when my kids started getting in shape for cross country running I also started "running". Its probably more of a jog but my son says its okay to say running. He has a speedometer on his bike and I started out averaging less than 4 mph but the last time he timed me I was doing an average of 4.8 mph. Our neighborhood has some steep hills so 4.8 mph is not bad. I'm sure I look like a fat, middle aged housewife puffing and sweating but I try to picture myself as a lean mean running machine! I only run about three times a week because I've discovered that my knees need the break in between runs. They only hurt if I run everyday. I learned to do a warm-up run, then stretch, run, then stretch again. This helps to ward off stiffness and seems to make a difference with my knees. I started out with just one mile (at the end of August) but yesterday I ran 2.5 miles. I'm proud of myself because although some people are born to run, I was not! My goal is to get so I can make it at least 3 miles and then next spring I will run in the schools 5K race with my kids. Its nice to have my kids support because part of me will be a little embarrassed. Tom used to be a runner and it'd be nice if he'd join me (at least in practicing).
The other new thing I've been doing is really practicing the keyboard. We got the keyboard a couple of years ago and I sort of learned the basics back then. I practiced for awhile then got away from it. I finally got back to it and really concentrated on learning an easy version of Eine Kleine Nachtmusik. It was tough for me because my left hand had to be keeping a steady beat while my right hand played something else. I persisted and finally got it...pretty much! I wanted to make Moonlight Sonata my next challenge but it may be too tough for me right now. It would be great if I could get good enough to play The Entertainer or Maple Leaf Rag. Someday.....
The other new thing I've been doing is really practicing the keyboard. We got the keyboard a couple of years ago and I sort of learned the basics back then. I practiced for awhile then got away from it. I finally got back to it and really concentrated on learning an easy version of Eine Kleine Nachtmusik. It was tough for me because my left hand had to be keeping a steady beat while my right hand played something else. I persisted and finally got it...pretty much! I wanted to make Moonlight Sonata my next challenge but it may be too tough for me right now. It would be great if I could get good enough to play The Entertainer or Maple Leaf Rag. Someday.....
Monday, September 17, 2007
TRYING YOUR HARDEST, DOING YOUR BEST AND OTHER SUCH NONSENSE
I think that I have a problem that most people would love to have. My kids are quite smart. My kids work really hard at succeeding in everything that they do. They always do their homework, almost always practice their instruments and push themselves to do their very best. All this with a minimal amount of nagging from me. Its as if they've internalized a desire to do well. I've taught them to be conscientious. So what's the problem?
The problem is that I wonder if I've taught them to know when enough is enough. Will they be able to know when to relax? When to say no. Right now I am the one who makes sure that they are not overloaded. I think I do a pretty good job. There are times that I need to slow them down. There are times that I need to give them a little extra push. However, the time is coming very quickly when they will need to make decisions for themselves.
When a student is doing well in school there are extra pressures placed on them. There are levels in high school for the regular, advanced and super advanced students. The more advanced you are, the more work you are expected to do. Thomas who is now in 9th grade had to read three books (teachers choice) over the summer and prepare for two social studies tests to be given on the second and third days of school. During the high school open house, I learned that next year Thomas may be recommended to take some AP courses. AP stands for Advanced Placement and are college level courses that can give you college credits if you pass the test. We are warned that these AP courses are super difficult and require much more homework than other courses. If he's doing 1.5 to 2 hours per night of homework now, how much more would be required?
I feel an intense pressure when making decisions about my kids education. Are they capable of doing the work required in these advanced classes? They certainly are but at what price? I'm not sure if I know when enough is enough, how can I expect them to make these kinds of decisions? Thomas graduated 8th grade with the highest GPA out of around 200 students so if I decide he shouldn't take these AP courses, I will look like a lunatic. Why wouldn't I want him to push himself to the max? Because I feel that there are more important things in life than being the best. Or making the most money. On the other hand if I slow them down now will it hurt their chances to be able to accomplish their dreams? Maybe Thomas's dream will be to go to the best engineering college he can get into (only on a scholarship - HAH!). If I hold him back will he resent it later?
In some sense, Thomas is my guinea pig. Erin will follow in his footsteps next year and if she doesn't have the highest GPA in 8th grade she will definitely be in the top five. Sarah is following in their footsteps. I plan to take it one small step at a time and guide them to make decisions that will hopefully lead them to a happy as well as successful life. I can only go by what I think is true and right.
The problem is that I wonder if I've taught them to know when enough is enough. Will they be able to know when to relax? When to say no. Right now I am the one who makes sure that they are not overloaded. I think I do a pretty good job. There are times that I need to slow them down. There are times that I need to give them a little extra push. However, the time is coming very quickly when they will need to make decisions for themselves.
When a student is doing well in school there are extra pressures placed on them. There are levels in high school for the regular, advanced and super advanced students. The more advanced you are, the more work you are expected to do. Thomas who is now in 9th grade had to read three books (teachers choice) over the summer and prepare for two social studies tests to be given on the second and third days of school. During the high school open house, I learned that next year Thomas may be recommended to take some AP courses. AP stands for Advanced Placement and are college level courses that can give you college credits if you pass the test. We are warned that these AP courses are super difficult and require much more homework than other courses. If he's doing 1.5 to 2 hours per night of homework now, how much more would be required?
I feel an intense pressure when making decisions about my kids education. Are they capable of doing the work required in these advanced classes? They certainly are but at what price? I'm not sure if I know when enough is enough, how can I expect them to make these kinds of decisions? Thomas graduated 8th grade with the highest GPA out of around 200 students so if I decide he shouldn't take these AP courses, I will look like a lunatic. Why wouldn't I want him to push himself to the max? Because I feel that there are more important things in life than being the best. Or making the most money. On the other hand if I slow them down now will it hurt their chances to be able to accomplish their dreams? Maybe Thomas's dream will be to go to the best engineering college he can get into (only on a scholarship - HAH!). If I hold him back will he resent it later?
In some sense, Thomas is my guinea pig. Erin will follow in his footsteps next year and if she doesn't have the highest GPA in 8th grade she will definitely be in the top five. Sarah is following in their footsteps. I plan to take it one small step at a time and guide them to make decisions that will hopefully lead them to a happy as well as successful life. I can only go by what I think is true and right.
PICKING APPLES
One of my favorite yearly traditions is apple picking. To get there we drive through the black dirt region of New York. The dirt really is very black and looks so fertile that it seems anything could grow there. It makes me want to stop and fill the back of my van so I could bring it home. Our dirt here is so bad that its a challenge to get even grass to grow. Just before we reach Pine Island we see and smell the onion fields. Onions seem like a strange vegetable to me. The delicate papery outside seems inconsistent with being grown in the dirt. They never seem dirty when you buy them in the store.
After about an hour we arrive in Warwick, NY and pull onto the dirt road leading to our apple orchard of choice. The bumpy road seems to enhance the feeling that we are pioneers heading out to harvest apples in our horse drawn wagon. ZOOM! Back to reality when someone in an SUV whips passed us because we are driving too slow. We literally eat their dust.
There is something so wonderful about that first bite of that first fresh picked McIntosh! As I walk up to the closest tree, I couldn't help but verbalize my anticipation. As I describe how good it will taste, Thomas says something like "oh mom, come on are you trying to kill me!" Earlier in the day he was so hungry for his lunch of left over lasagna, his mouth was wet with drool. His salivary glands were burning with overuse. He pictured them bursting and having saliva shooting from his mouth. We both got a good laugh out of that one!
As we eat our fill of fresh pick apples, we begin to stuff the bag. Every year my family laughs at me because I insist on filling the bag as full as I can get it. After all, if I am paying $18.50 for apples, I want to get my money's worth! The kids seem to have gotten into the cheapskate spirit since they can't help but grab a couple extras as we are leaving the orchard. Am I promoting a form of thievery? Probably but since we are pretty good people we need something to make us imperfect! OKAY, OKAY, I admit it.....I always sample a couple of grapes in the supermarket before I buy them!
After about an hour we arrive in Warwick, NY and pull onto the dirt road leading to our apple orchard of choice. The bumpy road seems to enhance the feeling that we are pioneers heading out to harvest apples in our horse drawn wagon. ZOOM! Back to reality when someone in an SUV whips passed us because we are driving too slow. We literally eat their dust.
There is something so wonderful about that first bite of that first fresh picked McIntosh! As I walk up to the closest tree, I couldn't help but verbalize my anticipation. As I describe how good it will taste, Thomas says something like "oh mom, come on are you trying to kill me!" Earlier in the day he was so hungry for his lunch of left over lasagna, his mouth was wet with drool. His salivary glands were burning with overuse. He pictured them bursting and having saliva shooting from his mouth. We both got a good laugh out of that one!
As we eat our fill of fresh pick apples, we begin to stuff the bag. Every year my family laughs at me because I insist on filling the bag as full as I can get it. After all, if I am paying $18.50 for apples, I want to get my money's worth! The kids seem to have gotten into the cheapskate spirit since they can't help but grab a couple extras as we are leaving the orchard. Am I promoting a form of thievery? Probably but since we are pretty good people we need something to make us imperfect! OKAY, OKAY, I admit it.....I always sample a couple of grapes in the supermarket before I buy them!
Tom and I managed to drag ourselves into the tree for a photo!
Sarah, Erin and Thomas were much more agile getting into the same tree!
Saturday, September 08, 2007
WHERE DID THAT MONTH GO?
Its hard to believe that I didn't post once in August. I was home a lot but decided to just take it easy, knowing that the start of school was coming. Sometimes I wonder why it seems so tough for me to have the kids start school. After all, its them that have to go off and spend their day working. I get a lot of quiet time at home....at least until they come home and my work begins. The first day of school I spent two hours reading through papers and filling out forms. Then there is the self imposed worrying. Do they like their teachers, will they be able to keep up their grades, will their extracurricular activities overwhelm them. Then there are the aggravations. Why does that teacher decide to take points off of the students grades just for being absent (even when they have a legitimate excuse)? Why do we need to show a photo id and sign our kids out when the people handing them over to us know us? Why does the cross country coach make everyone do extra laps when one girl is the only one who walks during practice? So as you can see I have plenty to keep my mind occupied. And who's worrying about me possibly going insane?
For some reason having my first kid going into high school has been a difficult transition. Not for him. He seems absolutely fine. Its me. Its sort of like turning 40. Its the sadness of letting go. For me it's the worry that I'm not letting go enough. I don't want to let him go but the alternative is being over protective. Or over involved. For me its a difficult balancing act. I have never been a mother who is over joyed at the start of school. Never have I said "hooray, my kids are off to school and now I have alone time". I've always been very content to be with my kids. I'm just hoping as time marches on, this does not become a problem for me or him. Part of me wonders how this could ever become a problem but then I see the example of the other families. Once the kids get to be teenagers they seem to become so distance. The parents back off as the kids develop an obvious annoyance with their parents. This is touted as normal. If that's normal, then what are we? Abnormal? Ha ha, only I could worry about something like this!
For some reason having my first kid going into high school has been a difficult transition. Not for him. He seems absolutely fine. Its me. Its sort of like turning 40. Its the sadness of letting go. For me it's the worry that I'm not letting go enough. I don't want to let him go but the alternative is being over protective. Or over involved. For me its a difficult balancing act. I have never been a mother who is over joyed at the start of school. Never have I said "hooray, my kids are off to school and now I have alone time". I've always been very content to be with my kids. I'm just hoping as time marches on, this does not become a problem for me or him. Part of me wonders how this could ever become a problem but then I see the example of the other families. Once the kids get to be teenagers they seem to become so distance. The parents back off as the kids develop an obvious annoyance with their parents. This is touted as normal. If that's normal, then what are we? Abnormal? Ha ha, only I could worry about something like this!
Friday, July 27, 2007
KNOEBELS AMUSEMENT PARK
We just got back from our yearly trip to Knoebel's Amusement Park. We go camping at their adjoining camp ground. Its just a short walk to go on the rides. The kids love it and I would recommend it to anyone with kids. Its nice because if you don't go on many rides you don't pay to get in, you can just pay for each ride. If you go on a lot of the rides you can pay for an all day wrist band and get to go on as many rides as you want. The prices are great with most rides costing between 80 cents and $2. A wristband is just $28.
Here is our camping set-up.
Here is Tom fixing the leak in the camper, since something has to go wrong!
Erin and Sarah on the motor boats.
This ride and most of the others are "antiques" or replicas of old rides. Its sort of neat to go on rides that they don't have anywhere else because they are old instead of new!
Thomas in front of the sky slide. Its the best slide you will ever go down. Super high and super fast! You'd be able to look out at the scenery if you weren't busy trying to stay under control!
Sarah at the end of the slide, this was a ride that she was too scared to go on in previous years.
Me, almost totally out of control and falling over!
Erin, ready to go down the slide.
Sarah on the smaller of the two train rides.
Erin and me on the train.
Thomas on the smaller of the two carousels. The bigger one has rings that you catch as you go around. Thomas and Erin both got a brass ring and won a free ride.
Erin, happy as ever.
Years ago this is the first and only ride that Sarah would go on. I spent much of that visit riding around with her! Over and over and over!
Sarah and me on the Tilt-a-Whirl. One time ride for me! Sarah's shirt may have been green, but so was my face!
Erin on the antique cars giving Sarah a taxi ride.
This was a new ride called the Looper. I'm glad they didn't ask me to go on it!
Sarah getting ready to be taken back to the campsite on a golf cart. This was after a visit to the first aid station for "chest pains". We figured it was either heartburn or a muscle spasm but a bit scary for everyone. Although I love Knoebel's, their first aid station was staffed with very nice but not very helpful people.
Finally, a picture of Thomas right before he said "Dad's taking too many pictures, you've got to stop him". He's sitting in the Pioneer train waiting to take off on the 1.5 mile ride through the woods. Its a great ride to go on in the dark because its pitch black except for the trains headlight and really neat! One of my favorite rides!
BLUEBERRIES!!!
This year I have discovered how many wild blueberries we have around here! I have been picking and eating them in between our trips. I would guess that I've picked over 30 cups of blueberries so far and plan to go out picking again today. I've made two blueberry pies, a big pan of blueberry cobbler and have frozen 4 or 5 cups. The rest we've just eaten plain. The kids love to snack on bowls of them. I want to make some blueberry muffins and maybe blueberry bread. I definitely want to freeze some more to have in the winter.
I'm going blueberry crazy! During my blueberry picking outings, I've come to realize that this blueberry picking thing makes me happy in so many ways. First and foremost, I love the taste of blueberries and the things I can make from them. Second, with the big emphasis on organic produce today, I can be happy that these have not been sprayed with chemicals! Thirdly, they are free! I am a cheapskate at heart and love the feeling of a good deal. What's better than free?!? Finally, I've read that blueberries are very good for you health wise. I happily tell my kids, "go ahead, eat some more"!
When I was a kid, one of my favorite books was "Blueberries For Sal". Its a story of a little girl who goes picking wild blueberries with her mother. A mother bear and her cub are also in the patch eating blueberries. Somehow, Sal gets separated from her mother at the same time that the cub gets separated from its mother. Sal starts following the sounds that the bear is making thinking its her mother. Likewise, the cub follows Sal's mother thinking she's the mother bear. Eventually everyone gets back to there rightful mother without anyone getting eaten. They live happily ever after, with plenty of blueberries.
So when you see me in the blueberry patch you can know that I'm happy. I'm probably thinking happy thoughts about those friendly bears in "Blueberries For Sal"!
I'm going blueberry crazy! During my blueberry picking outings, I've come to realize that this blueberry picking thing makes me happy in so many ways. First and foremost, I love the taste of blueberries and the things I can make from them. Second, with the big emphasis on organic produce today, I can be happy that these have not been sprayed with chemicals! Thirdly, they are free! I am a cheapskate at heart and love the feeling of a good deal. What's better than free?!? Finally, I've read that blueberries are very good for you health wise. I happily tell my kids, "go ahead, eat some more"!
When I was a kid, one of my favorite books was "Blueberries For Sal". Its a story of a little girl who goes picking wild blueberries with her mother. A mother bear and her cub are also in the patch eating blueberries. Somehow, Sal gets separated from her mother at the same time that the cub gets separated from its mother. Sal starts following the sounds that the bear is making thinking its her mother. Likewise, the cub follows Sal's mother thinking she's the mother bear. Eventually everyone gets back to there rightful mother without anyone getting eaten. They live happily ever after, with plenty of blueberries.
So when you see me in the blueberry patch you can know that I'm happy. I'm probably thinking happy thoughts about those friendly bears in "Blueberries For Sal"!
Saturday, June 30, 2007
FIRST "VACATION" OF THE SUMMER
Our first trip this summer was to NH to visit my relatives. I have discovered that only about 25% of our time can be spent interacting with them or they drive me crazy. Fortunately, this fact has somehow been imprinted in my brain. I say fortunately because unfortunately, the fact that my family is WACKO has not seemed to stick in my mind! I somehow think that I can have a family gathering without having to listen to the latest "gossip".
In my family when you say "oh did so and so get married?", you are more than likely going to get "I don't know" as a reply. Yes, people in my family get married in secret. It has happened several times. Eventually, after a few years, people find out. Mostly, we just look for wedding rings to show up. In the mean time people just whisper.
As in all families, problems among members are always there. The problem for me is trying to determine who is at fault. One wacko has a problem with another wacko...whose fault is it?!?!
This post would be way more interesting if I could give you details but I have decided to always be careful with what I post. I only post things that I wouldn't mind terribly if people found out. If any of the wackos read this they will just think its someone else who is the wacko one. That's the way I want to keep it. I don't want to hurt anyone, not even a wacko.
In my family when you say "oh did so and so get married?", you are more than likely going to get "I don't know" as a reply. Yes, people in my family get married in secret. It has happened several times. Eventually, after a few years, people find out. Mostly, we just look for wedding rings to show up. In the mean time people just whisper.
As in all families, problems among members are always there. The problem for me is trying to determine who is at fault. One wacko has a problem with another wacko...whose fault is it?!?!
This post would be way more interesting if I could give you details but I have decided to always be careful with what I post. I only post things that I wouldn't mind terribly if people found out. If any of the wackos read this they will just think its someone else who is the wacko one. That's the way I want to keep it. I don't want to hurt anyone, not even a wacko.
GARDENING
I really love to garden and slowly over the past 20 years I have gotten better and better at it. Still not very good but at least I get to eat some vegetables from my garden. This year I have had a handful of strawberries, quite a few peas, lettuce and radishes. Later I should have some tomatoes, beans, carrots, cucumbers and zucchinis. I'm still working on getting some peppers, swiss chard and beets to grow and one of these years I will be successful. They are three things that I seem unable to produce. I used to be able to grow swiss chard and for some reason I just can't anymore. I read, I pamper and I wonder....
I'm always very proud of my impatients that I hang from my front porch. I save seed and start them new every year. They end up looking pretty darn good.
I always try something new every year. Last year I started asparagus from seed and I'm happy to report that it at least survived the winter. I also started strawberries last year and added some more this year. I'm hoping for a bigger crop next year. This year my new and interesting projects are an upside down hanging tomato plant (not doing so well) and iceberg lettuce.
For many years I have grown tomatoes and tried to grow peppers. For many years I didn't know that cutworms existed until last year when I READ about them. So I thought "what the heck, I might as well put cutworm collars on my tomatoes and peppers". So last year I did. This year when I transplanted my tomatoes into the garden I put cutworm collars on them. I got lazy when I transplanted my peppers. Why worry, afterall, so many years without a cutworm collar and no problems. Well, I lost two of my peppers to cutworms. Its almost as if they came to my garden eyeing those cutworm collars saying "we'll just wait until she slips up". Its weird if you ask me. Almost as weird as the fact that I used to be successful with swiss chard and now I can't grow it. I know experienced gardening people might say "how can she NOT grow swiss chard?" Well, I can't, but SOMEDAY I will!! So what if my rhubarb looks half dead. So what if rhubarb is one of those plants that most people can't kill if they tried. Well, I could kill it if I tried!!
I'm always very proud of my impatients that I hang from my front porch. I save seed and start them new every year. They end up looking pretty darn good.
I always try something new every year. Last year I started asparagus from seed and I'm happy to report that it at least survived the winter. I also started strawberries last year and added some more this year. I'm hoping for a bigger crop next year. This year my new and interesting projects are an upside down hanging tomato plant (not doing so well) and iceberg lettuce.
For many years I have grown tomatoes and tried to grow peppers. For many years I didn't know that cutworms existed until last year when I READ about them. So I thought "what the heck, I might as well put cutworm collars on my tomatoes and peppers". So last year I did. This year when I transplanted my tomatoes into the garden I put cutworm collars on them. I got lazy when I transplanted my peppers. Why worry, afterall, so many years without a cutworm collar and no problems. Well, I lost two of my peppers to cutworms. Its almost as if they came to my garden eyeing those cutworm collars saying "we'll just wait until she slips up". Its weird if you ask me. Almost as weird as the fact that I used to be successful with swiss chard and now I can't grow it. I know experienced gardening people might say "how can she NOT grow swiss chard?" Well, I can't, but SOMEDAY I will!! So what if my rhubarb looks half dead. So what if rhubarb is one of those plants that most people can't kill if they tried. Well, I could kill it if I tried!!
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
SARAH'S HAIRCUT
Did you know that there are only two girls in the 5th grade that have short haircuts? Sarah decided to get her haircut really short and there is only one other girl that has short hair and its not as short as Sarah's. When she told me what she wanted to do in the last few days of 4th grade I gave her some warnings. Warning A was it would take a long time to grow out if she didn't like it. Warning B was that the other kids were going to laugh and say she looked like a boy. Warning C was that she would have to put suntan lotion on her ears now.
Fortunately, she LOVES it (its really cute). The kids did laugh but she had told me before hand that it wouldn't bother her and it didn't (I loved her confidence!). No sunburned ears yet!
Here she is with Beau and his new haircut!
It can also be styled to look like this, that is if you want to jump on a trampoline!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY
Today is my 20th wedding anniversary! (Plus six years together before we were married makes 26 years.) Wow! Its hard to believe that its been that long. I sincerely hope that my kids can find someone that they are able to be happy with for that long. I think of how much we've changed over those years and am amazed. I was only 17 years old when we started to date although Tom was "an older man" at 21 years old. I think of other peoples opinions, many thought we were all wrong for each other.
Things I heard from people were:
She's just going out with him because of his car (a blue Camero).
They just don't seem like a good match.
She would be nicer if she wasn't going out with him.
From my father: "We don't like those kind of people, they have cocktails as soon as they come home, then a cocktail with dinner and another one before they go to bed." (Tom never drinks and his parents rarely do)
A long distance relationship will never work. (He was in NJ and I was in NH)
Overheard from an uncle: "Now I know why they are not happy with them being together." Not sure what made him come to that opinion.
I also heard things like:
You are so lucky to be so young and you've already found the person you will be with for life.
Many people have told me over the years how much they admire my marriage and how they want their marriage to be just like mine.
So the moral of the story is to follow your heart but keep a practical side to your thoughts too. Only you can choose the person that is right for you. Sometimes its hard to block out what others are saying but you can't let it influence you. It could backfire in two ways - one is that other people's opinions may make you leave the person who is right for you and the other is that you may rebel and purposely go out with someone who is not right for you just to spite all the naysayers.
I was able to see through all the babble and make the right decision! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TOM!!
Things I heard from people were:
She's just going out with him because of his car (a blue Camero).
They just don't seem like a good match.
She would be nicer if she wasn't going out with him.
From my father: "We don't like those kind of people, they have cocktails as soon as they come home, then a cocktail with dinner and another one before they go to bed." (Tom never drinks and his parents rarely do)
A long distance relationship will never work. (He was in NJ and I was in NH)
Overheard from an uncle: "Now I know why they are not happy with them being together." Not sure what made him come to that opinion.
I also heard things like:
You are so lucky to be so young and you've already found the person you will be with for life.
Many people have told me over the years how much they admire my marriage and how they want their marriage to be just like mine.
So the moral of the story is to follow your heart but keep a practical side to your thoughts too. Only you can choose the person that is right for you. Sometimes its hard to block out what others are saying but you can't let it influence you. It could backfire in two ways - one is that other people's opinions may make you leave the person who is right for you and the other is that you may rebel and purposely go out with someone who is not right for you just to spite all the naysayers.
I was able to see through all the babble and make the right decision! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TOM!!
MY MAN
Here he is, my man!
Notice the cute safety glasses and the revealing shorts...
Notice the shirt that matches his oh so worn shorts!
BACK VIEW
Buns of steel from all that ladder climbing!
FRONT VIEW
Notice the cute safety glasses and the revealing shorts...SIDE VIEW
Notice the shirt that matches his oh so worn shorts!BACK VIEW
Buns of steel from all that ladder climbing!Saturday, June 16, 2007
GRADUATION PARTIES
I just dropped Thomas off for his field trip to Gettysburg, PA. While I was there I was chatting with another mother. She told me that her son was invited to about ten eighth grade graduation parties. She said that most of them involved drinking or drugs so her son is not going. Thomas has been invited to one graduation party and I am sure that there won't be any drinking or drugging. As I looked at my son sitting on the bus, Rubik's Cube in hand, I wondered how his teenage years could be so different than many of his peers. He was not invited to those other parties where bad things would be happening. I don't even think he's aware that they are going on. He is so busy with his hobbies and activities that he wouldn't have time to even consider these things. I know my kids well and I know that they see their future. They know what needs to be done to get there. They don't want to mess it up.
It makes me wonder how prevalent these issues are. I know so many kids that are not doing these things. I am not naive but it still makes me amazed that there are two worlds inside the middle school. I am thankful for the world that my kids are in.
It makes me wonder how prevalent these issues are. I know so many kids that are not doing these things. I am not naive but it still makes me amazed that there are two worlds inside the middle school. I am thankful for the world that my kids are in.
Monday, June 11, 2007
SCHOOL'S OUT!!
Just an update on Thomas's "prestigious" award. I think the prestigious one, was an academic achievement award given by President Bush to any student with certain grades. He also received the Science award and Math award for being the best student, I guess. His math average is 101.2% (from getting bonus questions right as well as almost every question he was ever asked on a test). He also received his Math Counts award. He also has the highest GPA of all the eighth graders. So he's Mr. Smarty Pants. Blah, blah, blah! My neighbor tells me I SHOULD brag more about my kids but what's more annoying than a bragging mom?!?! He does appreciate being smart but I think he was more happy that the pond he made has attracted a frog and a salamander than getting all those awards. The eighth grade graduation "present" that he appreciated the most was having me spend time sifting the dirt in his garden. Its a dirty job but someone had to do it! Ha Ha! We also gave him the money to buy a pump for his pond so he can have a waterfall. Now all the frogs will have a place to splash around. Congratulations Thomas - now on to high school.
Of course Erin and Sarah have done well this year but they are not at one of those milestone years. They are just happy for school to be done! Erin has one more year in the middle school and Sarah one more year in the elementary school. This all just makes me realize how fast time goes by!
We are savoring this time of the summer. When you have days and days left to relax and have fun. We have all our vacations still to come. A trip to NH, time spent at the shore, a trip to Knoebel's Amusement park and plenty of time enjoying our home here in the Poconos.
Of course Erin and Sarah have done well this year but they are not at one of those milestone years. They are just happy for school to be done! Erin has one more year in the middle school and Sarah one more year in the elementary school. This all just makes me realize how fast time goes by!
We are savoring this time of the summer. When you have days and days left to relax and have fun. We have all our vacations still to come. A trip to NH, time spent at the shore, a trip to Knoebel's Amusement park and plenty of time enjoying our home here in the Poconos.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
THE BESTEST WEEKEND EVER
I'm a little late in posting about it, but I just wanted to say that we had the bestest Memorial Day weekend ever! We started our friday night with a big bonfire! We had been trying to have one for awhile but the weather just wasn't cooperating! Thomas happily burned up his old go cart and his wooden windmill. He built both from his own designs but has moved on to bigger and better projects. He turned wood gathering into a major workout. He ran through the woods collecting large and small branches, cutting them up and then adding them to the fire to keep it roaring! The picture above is the "grand finale" when he dumped in my cornstalks from last fall.
We continued the festivities by setting up the tent. Erin, Sarah and I slept out not one night but two! Other than a lot of very verbal crows in the morning we slept like logs. We were sure not to eat anything in the tent so one of the four bears wandering the neighborhood wouldn't show up for a snack! The bears didn't scare us but the ghost stories that Erin got off the internet sure did! Well, they didn't really scare me but it was fun telling them anyway!
Saturday evening was our first BBQ of hamburgers and hotdogs. Sunday was a perfectly done steak. By monday, I had to follow my supper time announcement with "and you'll like it". More hamburgers and hotdogs on the grill! My kids like variety so were almost sick of BBQ food. I say almost because I didn't allow them to vent their disapproval, so as far as I am concerned, they LOVED it!
We filled our days with yard work, home improvement and just for fun, a little relaxation!
It was a taste of the summer days to come!
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
PRESTIGIOUS AWARD
I just got a phone call from Thomas's guidance counselor to inform me that "Tom will be receiving a prestigious award at the ceremony on June 8th". She hopes we will be there. PRESTIGIOUS! I will be there. I hate awards, but I will be there. It may be the math counts award he should get but I guess it could be something else...something even MORE prestigious! I know I should just be proud and shut up but I can't.
I am proud of my kids but some how awards just seem to promote an eagerness for other people to give you their approval. Yes, here is an award because we like you and you have done just what we want you to do. How many times have I fallen in the trap of trying to get people to like me. It seems when I try to get someone to like me I fail and end up miserable.
It seems as if, depending on the year, one or another of my kids will be a favorite. Up until fourth grade Erin was almost always picked as Citizen of the Year. Sarah has received quite a few of those herself. Thomas who is currently receiving this "prestigious award" was never picked as Citizen of the Year. Does this mean he is less of a good student/citizen? Apparently since being in Middle School he has become a better student since he has always gotten a Student of the Month award. Last year Thomas and Erin were both picked as Student of the Month in September - quite an "honor" since there are only 10 months in the school year. This year Thomas was once again picked early on and Erin never got picked to be Student of the Month at all. Does this mean that her status as a student has dropped dramatically in the past year? Usually Sarah gets a Student of the Month award during the first half of the year. This is the first year that Sarah has not received a Student of the Month award. So you see, round and round we go. No rhyme or reason. Just a matter of rubbing someone the wrong way or the right way. Underlying it all is that sense of "why doesn't this teacher like me?" or "Yeah, she/he likes me!"
Worse of all, I'm expected to go to the ceremonies, puffed up with pride. How annoying to the other parents who are more than likely thinking "Oh that Elise, she thinks her kids are so great". My family life is a very personal experience for me. I am proud of my kids but I don't need other people to recognize their goodness for me to feel that pride. I conduct my personal life the way I do regardless of what other people think - good or bad.
Its inevitable this time of the year that I have to spend at least a little bit of time whining about awards. I hope from all my whining, my children will learn something. Awards are not important. Being a good person. Being a happy person. Having a full life. Making the most of the gifts you were born with. Learning to make good decisions that will give you all of these things. These are the things that are important. Awards are the way that other people give you their approval. This is fine when people approve of you but what will you do when they don't approve of you? Will you be able to recognize your own talents? Will you still be happy with yourself?
When Thomas was in sixth grade his science teacher told me that Thomas was the best student he's ever had in his entire teaching history. What made his comment memorable to me was the fact that he told me that although Thomas was super smart, he was still just a regular kid. He fit right in with all the other kids and always had a smile on his face. That's what made me happy. The fact that this teacher took the time to tell me this means so much more to me than watching Thomas receive a "prestigious award".
I am proud of my kids but some how awards just seem to promote an eagerness for other people to give you their approval. Yes, here is an award because we like you and you have done just what we want you to do. How many times have I fallen in the trap of trying to get people to like me. It seems when I try to get someone to like me I fail and end up miserable.
It seems as if, depending on the year, one or another of my kids will be a favorite. Up until fourth grade Erin was almost always picked as Citizen of the Year. Sarah has received quite a few of those herself. Thomas who is currently receiving this "prestigious award" was never picked as Citizen of the Year. Does this mean he is less of a good student/citizen? Apparently since being in Middle School he has become a better student since he has always gotten a Student of the Month award. Last year Thomas and Erin were both picked as Student of the Month in September - quite an "honor" since there are only 10 months in the school year. This year Thomas was once again picked early on and Erin never got picked to be Student of the Month at all. Does this mean that her status as a student has dropped dramatically in the past year? Usually Sarah gets a Student of the Month award during the first half of the year. This is the first year that Sarah has not received a Student of the Month award. So you see, round and round we go. No rhyme or reason. Just a matter of rubbing someone the wrong way or the right way. Underlying it all is that sense of "why doesn't this teacher like me?" or "Yeah, she/he likes me!"
Worse of all, I'm expected to go to the ceremonies, puffed up with pride. How annoying to the other parents who are more than likely thinking "Oh that Elise, she thinks her kids are so great". My family life is a very personal experience for me. I am proud of my kids but I don't need other people to recognize their goodness for me to feel that pride. I conduct my personal life the way I do regardless of what other people think - good or bad.
Its inevitable this time of the year that I have to spend at least a little bit of time whining about awards. I hope from all my whining, my children will learn something. Awards are not important. Being a good person. Being a happy person. Having a full life. Making the most of the gifts you were born with. Learning to make good decisions that will give you all of these things. These are the things that are important. Awards are the way that other people give you their approval. This is fine when people approve of you but what will you do when they don't approve of you? Will you be able to recognize your own talents? Will you still be happy with yourself?
When Thomas was in sixth grade his science teacher told me that Thomas was the best student he's ever had in his entire teaching history. What made his comment memorable to me was the fact that he told me that although Thomas was super smart, he was still just a regular kid. He fit right in with all the other kids and always had a smile on his face. That's what made me happy. The fact that this teacher took the time to tell me this means so much more to me than watching Thomas receive a "prestigious award".
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
WHO'S EATING ALL THE FOOD IN THE HOUSE
After taking a closer look at the pictures I posted of my children, I realized that they are looking quite skinny. Bones sticking out everywhere! It occurred to me that maybe I should be eating a little bit less of the food in the house and leave some for them!
TAGGED
I've been tagged with a meme to write 8 random habits/facts about myself.
1. I met my husband, Tom, at my sister's wedding when she was marrying his brother. I was only 13 and he was 18 and if you had told me I would eventually marry him, I would have laughed hysterically.
2. When I was 15 years old I became friends with Tom and he tells me one of the first things I said to him was that I would never get married!
3. I went to NJ Institute of Technology in Newark, NJ for my first year of college. Quite a culture shock from my country bumpkin upbringing in NH! It was very eye opening.
4. The only times I have been out of the country were my vacations to the Bahamas and Canada and a couple of short jaunts into Mexico.
5. Growing up, we were kind of poor. We drank powdered milk, my mother made a lot of my clothes, we ate vegetables from my father's huge garden. We also ate eggs from our chickens and ducks and if they were roosters, we ate them! We ate tons of wild blueberries, dandelions (yuck), homemade maple syrup and even baby ferns (called fiddleheads). All in the name of saving money. As a kid I never knew we were poor. I guess because I always had food, clothes and a roof over my head - that was enough.
6. I usually take my shower midafternoon so when I wake up I just quickly put on the clothes that I was wearing the evening before. I probably often times look like I wear my clothes two full days in a row but usually not!
7. If I eat a lot of chocolate, I will get diarrhea.
8. If I have soda in the house, I let my children drink it for breakfast.
Now I am supposed to tag eight other people. I will see if my kids read this and tag Erin and Sarah. That's it, no one else to tag...
1. I met my husband, Tom, at my sister's wedding when she was marrying his brother. I was only 13 and he was 18 and if you had told me I would eventually marry him, I would have laughed hysterically.
2. When I was 15 years old I became friends with Tom and he tells me one of the first things I said to him was that I would never get married!
3. I went to NJ Institute of Technology in Newark, NJ for my first year of college. Quite a culture shock from my country bumpkin upbringing in NH! It was very eye opening.
4. The only times I have been out of the country were my vacations to the Bahamas and Canada and a couple of short jaunts into Mexico.
5. Growing up, we were kind of poor. We drank powdered milk, my mother made a lot of my clothes, we ate vegetables from my father's huge garden. We also ate eggs from our chickens and ducks and if they were roosters, we ate them! We ate tons of wild blueberries, dandelions (yuck), homemade maple syrup and even baby ferns (called fiddleheads). All in the name of saving money. As a kid I never knew we were poor. I guess because I always had food, clothes and a roof over my head - that was enough.
6. I usually take my shower midafternoon so when I wake up I just quickly put on the clothes that I was wearing the evening before. I probably often times look like I wear my clothes two full days in a row but usually not!
7. If I eat a lot of chocolate, I will get diarrhea.
8. If I have soda in the house, I let my children drink it for breakfast.
Now I am supposed to tag eight other people. I will see if my kids read this and tag Erin and Sarah. That's it, no one else to tag...
Monday, May 21, 2007
BOB AND DEREK
BOB
ERIN AND DEREKI made each of the kids a blanket by sewing together two pieces of cloth. One side was a fuzzy, soft kind of cloth that you would make a stuffed animal from and the other side was flannel. The kids love to cuddle up in a special blanket made just for them. Erin's blanket was extra fuzzy and our cat's also love it! We think it reminds them of their mom!
I LOVE THE CATTITUDE!
Oh what a lovely smelling plant!
What ARE you doing?!? Did I say you could take that picture?!? Do you know who I am?!?
THOMAS AGAIN
Erin captured this lovely image with her camera so I'm not sure if its agony or just a sneeze! 
Saturday, May 19, 2007
I'M GRUMPY
Yesterday it occurred to me that I get grumpy at the end of every school year. You may think that it is because I dread the thought of having my children home with me all summer. That's not the case at all. Its a time of year when all the concerts, field days, awards ceremonies and end of year parties happen. YUCK!
I love to hear my kids play their instruments or sing. I don't like to hear the other parents be rude and talk continuously throughout the entire performance. Hey, they might not be very good but they deserve the respect of having people listen.
I think that my children deserve awards for being good people but I'm leery of the way we've turned everything into a competition. It's not a question of sour grapes because my kids have always gotten plenty of awards. It just seems wrong to me every time I sit through one of the award ceremonies.
I always help for field days and they are always desperate to get parents to come in but the person who plans it has a problem with me. One year I told her that I was more than happy to be a helper for the field day but was too busy to help with the initial organization. She got mad and said we are all busy and that maybe I wouldn't be allowed to help at all. She said that they didn't really need that many parents to be there on the actual day and she usually asked her friends that were willing to help her organize it right from the beginning. Of course a couple weeks before the field day we got an email notification that they were desperate for parents to come in to help and I had to call again. I am the only person who feels like they have to beg to be allowed to come to help. Weird. I hate these petty parent battles.
I no longer need to help with my kids class parties because they are older now but I recently went back to help Thomas and Sarah's kindergarten teacher with Grand Parent's Day. The lone mother that was there from the actual class had the martyr syndrome. "I can't BELIEVE I'm the ONLY parent that helped!" She didn't seem to catch on to the idea that I didn't even have a kid in the class but was just trying to help out an old friend/teacher. I don't feel like a martyr. I think everyone should do things for other people.
So, I spend my days in a constant state of underlying annoyance. What keeps me sane is the thought that its almost over. I am thrilled at the idea of day after day spent hanging out at home with my kids. The weekends right now are the best. With spring here I can freely spend my time outside as well as inside. Getting my hands dirty in the garden then catching up on sewing projects. This makes the end of the year bearable!
I love to hear my kids play their instruments or sing. I don't like to hear the other parents be rude and talk continuously throughout the entire performance. Hey, they might not be very good but they deserve the respect of having people listen.
I think that my children deserve awards for being good people but I'm leery of the way we've turned everything into a competition. It's not a question of sour grapes because my kids have always gotten plenty of awards. It just seems wrong to me every time I sit through one of the award ceremonies.
I always help for field days and they are always desperate to get parents to come in but the person who plans it has a problem with me. One year I told her that I was more than happy to be a helper for the field day but was too busy to help with the initial organization. She got mad and said we are all busy and that maybe I wouldn't be allowed to help at all. She said that they didn't really need that many parents to be there on the actual day and she usually asked her friends that were willing to help her organize it right from the beginning. Of course a couple weeks before the field day we got an email notification that they were desperate for parents to come in to help and I had to call again. I am the only person who feels like they have to beg to be allowed to come to help. Weird. I hate these petty parent battles.
I no longer need to help with my kids class parties because they are older now but I recently went back to help Thomas and Sarah's kindergarten teacher with Grand Parent's Day. The lone mother that was there from the actual class had the martyr syndrome. "I can't BELIEVE I'm the ONLY parent that helped!" She didn't seem to catch on to the idea that I didn't even have a kid in the class but was just trying to help out an old friend/teacher. I don't feel like a martyr. I think everyone should do things for other people.
So, I spend my days in a constant state of underlying annoyance. What keeps me sane is the thought that its almost over. I am thrilled at the idea of day after day spent hanging out at home with my kids. The weekends right now are the best. With spring here I can freely spend my time outside as well as inside. Getting my hands dirty in the garden then catching up on sewing projects. This makes the end of the year bearable!
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
I REMEMBER WHEN THEY COULDN'T TALK
One of my favorite things to do is have a good conversation with one of my kids. I still can remember when they couldn't talk and now appreciate their talent to communicate.
Thomas was somewhat of a late talker and had many words he mispronounced. He called his sister Erin "Ya Ya". The moon was "mmmm". He could not pronounce the sound "oy" until he was almost 5 years old. So boy became bear and toy became tear. I can still remember the look of shock and joy on his face the first time boy came out of his mouth sounding right. My husband still calls pillows "boopahs" because of Thomas's mispronunciation. My friend was always looking for the why. She said Thomas was a late talker because I didn't let him interact with other kids enough. She suggested I get out of the house more. Then she told me my youngest was not talking because apparently she was having too much interaction with kids - my other kids were talking for her and she became too lazy to talk. She suggested I ignore her until she said things clearly. I guess she thought Erin talked early because she had the middle child syndrome of trying to get more attention. Some how, at the time, I knew that they were just born that way. They were hardwired to talk when they were good and ready!
Once Thomas and Sarah began to talk they kept me smiling with what they had to say. Thomas saying the hose had a canker sore when it had a kink and Sarah with her grown up analysis of life's problems. Erin has always made me smile with the sheer volume of what she had to say. She could talk almost perfectly by the time she was two but even before her words were clear she made complete paragraphs out of her gibberish. All of her dialogues were emphasized with her various hand movements. You can imagine how cute an 18 month old looks having a completely indecipherable conversation with me. I actually would respond as if I knew exactly what she was saying.
I'm still listening with interest although I have to admit sometimes even now I pretend to know exactly what they are saying...when in reality all I hear is "whan, whan, whan, whan, whan, whan". You know how the kids in the Peanuts gang hear grown-ups talk. Well kids, sometimes it works both ways!
Thomas was somewhat of a late talker and had many words he mispronounced. He called his sister Erin "Ya Ya". The moon was "mmmm". He could not pronounce the sound "oy" until he was almost 5 years old. So boy became bear and toy became tear. I can still remember the look of shock and joy on his face the first time boy came out of his mouth sounding right. My husband still calls pillows "boopahs" because of Thomas's mispronunciation. My friend was always looking for the why. She said Thomas was a late talker because I didn't let him interact with other kids enough. She suggested I get out of the house more. Then she told me my youngest was not talking because apparently she was having too much interaction with kids - my other kids were talking for her and she became too lazy to talk. She suggested I ignore her until she said things clearly. I guess she thought Erin talked early because she had the middle child syndrome of trying to get more attention. Some how, at the time, I knew that they were just born that way. They were hardwired to talk when they were good and ready!
Once Thomas and Sarah began to talk they kept me smiling with what they had to say. Thomas saying the hose had a canker sore when it had a kink and Sarah with her grown up analysis of life's problems. Erin has always made me smile with the sheer volume of what she had to say. She could talk almost perfectly by the time she was two but even before her words were clear she made complete paragraphs out of her gibberish. All of her dialogues were emphasized with her various hand movements. You can imagine how cute an 18 month old looks having a completely indecipherable conversation with me. I actually would respond as if I knew exactly what she was saying.
I'm still listening with interest although I have to admit sometimes even now I pretend to know exactly what they are saying...when in reality all I hear is "whan, whan, whan, whan, whan, whan". You know how the kids in the Peanuts gang hear grown-ups talk. Well kids, sometimes it works both ways!
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Saturday, May 12, 2007
WE NEED THE RAIN
Why is it, whenever I water my plants, its rains right afterwards? Well, I'm not stupid, I've got it all figured out. I DID water them, but only a little bit, afterall, it was going to rain! Well, it DID rain.....but only a little bit. Apparently, the rainfall amount is in direct proportion with how much I water.
I'm somewhat convinced that the reason that its been so dry is because our lake looks like this!
It had to be drained in order to repair the outlet pipe and it almost seems as if its desperately sucking all the available moisture in the area in order to stay alive!
I seem to be having trouble inserting extra space/blank lines around my pictures. It lets me insert as many as I want before the picture but not a single one after the picture. Hmmm, as with many things with blogger, I just wait for the problem to go away. Afterall, blogger is free and I am cheap...oops I mean frugal!
I'm somewhat convinced that the reason that its been so dry is because our lake looks like this!
It had to be drained in order to repair the outlet pipe and it almost seems as if its desperately sucking all the available moisture in the area in order to stay alive!
I seem to be having trouble inserting extra space/blank lines around my pictures. It lets me insert as many as I want before the picture but not a single one after the picture. Hmmm, as with many things with blogger, I just wait for the problem to go away. Afterall, blogger is free and I am cheap...oops I mean frugal!
Monday, May 07, 2007
PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH
I have recently come to the revelation that I am teaching my children skills that I myself don't have. I am teaching them how to handle unhappiness in everyday life. I'm teaching them to be able say "oh well" and then just move forward. This is something that I have difficulty doing. Logically, we understand that we can't be happy every minute of the day. People experience anger, sadness, boredom, frustration and failure. We will have small and large tragedies in our life. Not everyone will like us. Some people will treat us in unfair ways. This is just life. I teach my children to accept this and deal with these situations and then go on living. They are much more successful in doing this than I am. I'm working on it but have a ways to go.
I used to have a friend who lost both of her parents in horrible accidents. As a result she has always taught her children that if anything happens to her or their father, it is important to go on a lead a wonderful life. In the past I have never understood this. Aren't there just some things that you can never get over? I've since realized that if we tell ourselves that we could never go on if such and such happens, then we are setting ourselves up for failure. Its not that we have to dwell on all the horrible possibilities, but we do have to see ourselves as strong individuals who can deal with whatever life has to send our way. If we don't do this, there can be no hope.
I realize that the best time to acquire these skills is in childhood. No one taught them to me. Will I be successful in teaching my children? Will they see the hypocrisy in the way I deal with things? Will this hypocrisy affect their success?
As the saying goes, "life goes on".
I used to have a friend who lost both of her parents in horrible accidents. As a result she has always taught her children that if anything happens to her or their father, it is important to go on a lead a wonderful life. In the past I have never understood this. Aren't there just some things that you can never get over? I've since realized that if we tell ourselves that we could never go on if such and such happens, then we are setting ourselves up for failure. Its not that we have to dwell on all the horrible possibilities, but we do have to see ourselves as strong individuals who can deal with whatever life has to send our way. If we don't do this, there can be no hope.
I realize that the best time to acquire these skills is in childhood. No one taught them to me. Will I be successful in teaching my children? Will they see the hypocrisy in the way I deal with things? Will this hypocrisy affect their success?
As the saying goes, "life goes on".
Saturday, April 28, 2007
THE DEATH OF CLAUS
Yesterday Santa Claus died. My youngest is ten years old and I had decided that now would be the time that she could know the truth. We were very good at hiding presents so my kids never happened upon anything. My older two believed until they were entering middle school (sixth grade) at which time I decided that the risk of extreme embarassment outweighed the sadness of losing the fantasy. I got them each alone at the appropriate time and said, "I have something to tell you".
Sarah was a completely different story. Lets just say, she has always been more suspicious. When she was five, all three of the kids were talking about whether Santa was real. She said "He must be real because where would all those presents come from?" Then her head snapped around, her eyes drilled holes into me and she dragged out the words as she said "Unless....the GROWN-UPS do it!!!" I am proud to say I didn't blink an eye, I just replied that of course Santa is real. Over the years she would periodically ask if it was really me who left the presents and I always denied it. In this past year the comments and questions have gotten more frequent and it has gotten more difficult to keep a straight face. That's when I decided that this was the last Christmas I would lie to her. I figured in another year she would be entering middle school (she's almost done fourth grade) and I would have to tell her then anyways. If I continued to lie to her, she may have never forgiven me:)
Yesterday morning before school she asked "Mom, do you believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny and all that stuff?" I smiled and said something my neighbor always says to kids asking her that question. "Well, if you don't believe, you don't get any presents." She had no idea what I was trying to say and neither did I, what my neighbor said never made sense to me but I was grasping at straws. The sweat started to bead on my brow. No one wants to kill Santa Claus! I asked her if she believed and she said "yes". I then said, "If there wasn't a Santa, would you want to know?" She told me "yes" so I just blurted it out "well, there isn't a Santa!!!" Her jaw literally dropped! I was panicked and asked her what she was thinking. She said "Two things, first, your bought all those presents and thank you so much" (awwwh). "And second, I am sort of proud of myself because I was right, I always thought maybe he wasn't real." I asked her if she was sad (Erin and Thomas had been shocked and sad) and she told me that she wasn't at all sad. She actually seemed somewhat happy and excited. She kept going over every present that she had ever gotten and thought about all the money that we had spent. I told her some funny things like how sometimes the Tooth Fairy "forgot" to leave money and how hard it was to tiptoe around at night. Who ate the cookies (mom) and carrots (Beau)? Mom is very good at disguising her handwriting to look like Santa's. I told her how once we had complained about how the computer didn't have a certain feature and Thomas scolded us saying "How can you complain, it was FREE!" (from Santa)
Last night just before bed, Sarah came to me and asked for proof. She wants to see all the teeth and letters to Santa that I saved. So for all you parents wondering whether to save those baby teeth, they may come in handy as evidence in court some day! As I type this, Sarah is behind me, hounding me to GET THOSE TEETH!!
Sarah was a completely different story. Lets just say, she has always been more suspicious. When she was five, all three of the kids were talking about whether Santa was real. She said "He must be real because where would all those presents come from?" Then her head snapped around, her eyes drilled holes into me and she dragged out the words as she said "Unless....the GROWN-UPS do it!!!" I am proud to say I didn't blink an eye, I just replied that of course Santa is real. Over the years she would periodically ask if it was really me who left the presents and I always denied it. In this past year the comments and questions have gotten more frequent and it has gotten more difficult to keep a straight face. That's when I decided that this was the last Christmas I would lie to her. I figured in another year she would be entering middle school (she's almost done fourth grade) and I would have to tell her then anyways. If I continued to lie to her, she may have never forgiven me:)
Yesterday morning before school she asked "Mom, do you believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny and all that stuff?" I smiled and said something my neighbor always says to kids asking her that question. "Well, if you don't believe, you don't get any presents." She had no idea what I was trying to say and neither did I, what my neighbor said never made sense to me but I was grasping at straws. The sweat started to bead on my brow. No one wants to kill Santa Claus! I asked her if she believed and she said "yes". I then said, "If there wasn't a Santa, would you want to know?" She told me "yes" so I just blurted it out "well, there isn't a Santa!!!" Her jaw literally dropped! I was panicked and asked her what she was thinking. She said "Two things, first, your bought all those presents and thank you so much" (awwwh). "And second, I am sort of proud of myself because I was right, I always thought maybe he wasn't real." I asked her if she was sad (Erin and Thomas had been shocked and sad) and she told me that she wasn't at all sad. She actually seemed somewhat happy and excited. She kept going over every present that she had ever gotten and thought about all the money that we had spent. I told her some funny things like how sometimes the Tooth Fairy "forgot" to leave money and how hard it was to tiptoe around at night. Who ate the cookies (mom) and carrots (Beau)? Mom is very good at disguising her handwriting to look like Santa's. I told her how once we had complained about how the computer didn't have a certain feature and Thomas scolded us saying "How can you complain, it was FREE!" (from Santa)
Last night just before bed, Sarah came to me and asked for proof. She wants to see all the teeth and letters to Santa that I saved. So for all you parents wondering whether to save those baby teeth, they may come in handy as evidence in court some day! As I type this, Sarah is behind me, hounding me to GET THOSE TEETH!!
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
SICK OF BEING SICK
I'm not exactly sick but it does seem like I have a lot of things wrong with me. I rarely write about medical issues on this blog. Mostly because I'm sick of thinking about them. Its giving me a low grade depressed feeling. Today I am in the mood for writing a summary of my problems. I'm not sure why but I've decided to go with my flow.
About 15 years ago I wanted to have children but was not getting my period at all. A work-up by my ob-gyn revealed that I had a pituitary tumor (the pituitary gland is in the center of your head). The tumor was releasing a hormone called prolactin. This is the hormone that makes a woman produce breast milk. We all know that when a woman breastfeeds, sometimes she doesn't get her period. I was told that I could manage it by taking medication for the rest of my life. This was supposed to shrink the tumor and regulate the hormones that it (the tumor) was giving off. I immediately (within a month of starting medication) got pregnant and during the pregnancy could not stay on the medication. Two kids later, the medicine was not shrinking the tumor, instead the tumor started to grow. Since it had already filled all the available space and I would be in danger of losing my vision, I needed to have it surgically removed. So 12 years ago my very talented neurosurgeon removed the tumor and I haven't been bothered by it for since. Well, until now.
Last spring I started having migraines and my period started coming every three weeks. My first thought was of the tumor. Last time it had made my period stop, but could it have the reverse effect and make it come more often? I've always gotten migraines but very rarely. Was the tumor back and causing these headaches? When I had it removed I was told that 50% of the tumors come back. By the end of the summer I realized that I would have to find out what was wrong.
My first appointment was with my gynocologist who gave me an exam. He found a fibroid tumor in my uterus but told me to see an endocrinologist about my pituitary. The ultrasound I had done of the fibroid tumor showed it is not super large. It is not serious and unless it causes me a lot of pain we leave it alone.
I saw the endocrinologist who ordered an MRI to check for the pituitary tumor. Since she is an endocrinologist she was unable to keep her hands off my thyroid! She felt my neck and said "you have a thyroid nodule" and we need to check it using an ultrasound. She ran blood work to check thyroid hormone levels as well as some other levels which would indicate the pituitary tumor was back and giving off more hormones.
My follow-up visit was loaded with bad news. A soft tissue mass had shown up on the MRI of my pituitary. The hormone associated with the pituitary tumor was also high. The thyroid hormone levels indicated that I had an underactive thyroid and would need to be on medication for the rest of my life. The ultrasound of the thyroid nodule showed that it was large enough to warrant a needle biopsy to check for cancer. I scheduled the biopsy and an appointment with my neurosurgeon to have him check out this "soft tissue mass" on my pituitary MRI.
Finally some good news, when I went to see my neurosurgeon he felt that it was "unlikely the the soft tissue mass is a new tumor". Maybe its scar tissue but he ordered another MRI be done in six months to check it again.
Not long after that I had the needle biopsy done. She told me it would hurt some and I would feel pressure. Well, I think she hit a nerve because it hurt so bad that my teeth were throbbing. She had to take four seperate samples (going in four times). She sent them off to be analyzed and the results came back "unable to diagnose" because there were not enough cells. Apparently there was too much blood and not enough nodule cells. So as painful as it was, we will have to do the needle biopsy again.
In the meantime I have gone on thyroid replacement hormone for the underactive thyroid. That has not been very smooth. I started them in August 2006 and still am trying to get the right dosage. It seemed to be the right level after the first blood test check. Then a couple months later it was making me go OVER active so we lowered the dose. Then it ended up back to underactive (even worse then before) so we increased the dose. I will have another blood test next month to see how its going. All these up and down hormones are affecting my mood.
So on April 23rd I had my follow-up MRI and should find out soon what the neurosurgeon thinks. On May 1st I am scheduled for my second needle biopsy. The endocrinologist feels confident that this time she will get a better sample.
Some where along the way I saw an opthamologist to check my vision since the pituitary is very close to the optic nerve there's a chance that a tumor can cause vision problems. I was not worried very much about the tumor causing me vision problems, but the way things have been going for me, I was a bit worried he would find some unrelated problem. Fortunately, I am still visually normal!
I have really horrible veins for giving blood and for the injections they need to give me for the MRIs. I have plenty of bad stories about mess-ups and the pain involved. I am not a wimp when it comes to enduring pain, but at this point I am getting a bit down about dealing with it. Like I said in the title - I am sick of being sick. I don't want to make another appointment, I don't want to be poked with a needle again, I don't want to hear any more bad news. I know this sounds like a pity party and usually when I get low like this, something or someone comes along who is much worse off and snaps me out of it. I realize that on the grand scale of things, my problems are minute, but that fact will not make that needle biopsy feel any better.
About 15 years ago I wanted to have children but was not getting my period at all. A work-up by my ob-gyn revealed that I had a pituitary tumor (the pituitary gland is in the center of your head). The tumor was releasing a hormone called prolactin. This is the hormone that makes a woman produce breast milk. We all know that when a woman breastfeeds, sometimes she doesn't get her period. I was told that I could manage it by taking medication for the rest of my life. This was supposed to shrink the tumor and regulate the hormones that it (the tumor) was giving off. I immediately (within a month of starting medication) got pregnant and during the pregnancy could not stay on the medication. Two kids later, the medicine was not shrinking the tumor, instead the tumor started to grow. Since it had already filled all the available space and I would be in danger of losing my vision, I needed to have it surgically removed. So 12 years ago my very talented neurosurgeon removed the tumor and I haven't been bothered by it for since. Well, until now.
Last spring I started having migraines and my period started coming every three weeks. My first thought was of the tumor. Last time it had made my period stop, but could it have the reverse effect and make it come more often? I've always gotten migraines but very rarely. Was the tumor back and causing these headaches? When I had it removed I was told that 50% of the tumors come back. By the end of the summer I realized that I would have to find out what was wrong.
My first appointment was with my gynocologist who gave me an exam. He found a fibroid tumor in my uterus but told me to see an endocrinologist about my pituitary. The ultrasound I had done of the fibroid tumor showed it is not super large. It is not serious and unless it causes me a lot of pain we leave it alone.
I saw the endocrinologist who ordered an MRI to check for the pituitary tumor. Since she is an endocrinologist she was unable to keep her hands off my thyroid! She felt my neck and said "you have a thyroid nodule" and we need to check it using an ultrasound. She ran blood work to check thyroid hormone levels as well as some other levels which would indicate the pituitary tumor was back and giving off more hormones.
My follow-up visit was loaded with bad news. A soft tissue mass had shown up on the MRI of my pituitary. The hormone associated with the pituitary tumor was also high. The thyroid hormone levels indicated that I had an underactive thyroid and would need to be on medication for the rest of my life. The ultrasound of the thyroid nodule showed that it was large enough to warrant a needle biopsy to check for cancer. I scheduled the biopsy and an appointment with my neurosurgeon to have him check out this "soft tissue mass" on my pituitary MRI.
Finally some good news, when I went to see my neurosurgeon he felt that it was "unlikely the the soft tissue mass is a new tumor". Maybe its scar tissue but he ordered another MRI be done in six months to check it again.
Not long after that I had the needle biopsy done. She told me it would hurt some and I would feel pressure. Well, I think she hit a nerve because it hurt so bad that my teeth were throbbing. She had to take four seperate samples (going in four times). She sent them off to be analyzed and the results came back "unable to diagnose" because there were not enough cells. Apparently there was too much blood and not enough nodule cells. So as painful as it was, we will have to do the needle biopsy again.
In the meantime I have gone on thyroid replacement hormone for the underactive thyroid. That has not been very smooth. I started them in August 2006 and still am trying to get the right dosage. It seemed to be the right level after the first blood test check. Then a couple months later it was making me go OVER active so we lowered the dose. Then it ended up back to underactive (even worse then before) so we increased the dose. I will have another blood test next month to see how its going. All these up and down hormones are affecting my mood.
So on April 23rd I had my follow-up MRI and should find out soon what the neurosurgeon thinks. On May 1st I am scheduled for my second needle biopsy. The endocrinologist feels confident that this time she will get a better sample.
Some where along the way I saw an opthamologist to check my vision since the pituitary is very close to the optic nerve there's a chance that a tumor can cause vision problems. I was not worried very much about the tumor causing me vision problems, but the way things have been going for me, I was a bit worried he would find some unrelated problem. Fortunately, I am still visually normal!
I have really horrible veins for giving blood and for the injections they need to give me for the MRIs. I have plenty of bad stories about mess-ups and the pain involved. I am not a wimp when it comes to enduring pain, but at this point I am getting a bit down about dealing with it. Like I said in the title - I am sick of being sick. I don't want to make another appointment, I don't want to be poked with a needle again, I don't want to hear any more bad news. I know this sounds like a pity party and usually when I get low like this, something or someone comes along who is much worse off and snaps me out of it. I realize that on the grand scale of things, my problems are minute, but that fact will not make that needle biopsy feel any better.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
CAN YOU DIGEST RUBBER BANDS?
For anyone that has gone through the ordeal of braces with their kids, they probably know about those rubber bands. I find them all over the house. Thomas says that he ALWAYS throws them out but apparently someone is flinging them everywhere when we are sleeping! The other day he left them on his plate after eating pop tarts for breakfast. I didn't see them when I grabbed the mostly clean plate and used it for making Sarah's jelly sandwich for her lunch. When I came back from dropping her off I noticed the rubber bands on the plate. Umm, well, I noticed the one rubber band on the plate. One was missing. Hopefully it fell on the floor, otherwise Sarah was going to be eating it for lunch!
Monday, April 16, 2007
Saturday, April 14, 2007
THE NOSE KNOWS
I thought Beau was getting old enough that his sniffer was starting to go on the fritz. That is, until yesterday when we were going for a walk. Beau was happily trotting along then suddenly he did an about face. He lunged into the bushes, rammed his nose into some dried grass and leaves and then pops up with a kaiser roll in his mouth! The nose knows!!
Friday, April 13, 2007
ACHIEVING GOALS
Sarah runs down the dirt road ahead of me. I'm walking because I am not meant to run. I watch as she reaches the end of the road for the third time and turns and heads back. If she runs back and forth on this stretch of road for four times she will have run two miles. That is her goal and she doesn't stop until she's reached it. I marvel in her tenacity. I love to see my children set goals for themselves and struggle to meet them. I'm unabashedly proud of them. They each meet their challenges in their own way. Thomas, finding something he's good at and immersing himself in it fully. Erin, preferring to take on something that she knows she will have to work at to succeed. Sarah, picking something she enjoys and quietly losing herself in it.
As I watched Sarah run, I thought about my own life. My own goals. I sometimes don't give myself credit for my successes. I downplay my accomplishments but when push comes to shove I know I have done a lot. Struggling to get my college degree I can only credit myself for sticking with it. Being careful with my money over the years has earned me a pretty good financial stability. Sort of a rags to riches story. Just not quite rags and not quite riches but close enough. Spending fourteen years being the best parent I can. That's been one of the most demanding jobs of my life, yet the most rewarding and probably the most successful.
For that moment, while watching Sarah meet one of her goals, I decided to focus on my own success. Just for a moment not focusing on my failures. I should do that more often!
As I watched Sarah run, I thought about my own life. My own goals. I sometimes don't give myself credit for my successes. I downplay my accomplishments but when push comes to shove I know I have done a lot. Struggling to get my college degree I can only credit myself for sticking with it. Being careful with my money over the years has earned me a pretty good financial stability. Sort of a rags to riches story. Just not quite rags and not quite riches but close enough. Spending fourteen years being the best parent I can. That's been one of the most demanding jobs of my life, yet the most rewarding and probably the most successful.
For that moment, while watching Sarah meet one of her goals, I decided to focus on my own success. Just for a moment not focusing on my failures. I should do that more often!
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
A TASTE OF SUMMER
The other day I woke up and looked outside. The first thing I thought was "I wish it would get warm". Its been below freezing every night and only in the 40's everyday. I then started my routine of letting Beau out, giving him his morning snack and then emptying the dishwasher. As I was putting the dishes away, I felt a sharp pain on my knee. It felt like a bee sting but OF COURSE IT COULDN'T BE THAT WITH TEMPERATURES SO LOW!!! I thought maybe a thread had wrapped around a hair and yanked it out. I quickly pulled my pants down and there was a HORNET!! OUCH!! I grabbed it up into the material and crushed it using a paper towel. Was this just a friendly reminder what summer is really like?
Well, I don't have a bee in my bonnet, just a hornet in my pants!
Well, I don't have a bee in my bonnet, just a hornet in my pants!
HOW MUCH WOOD WOULD A WOOD CHUCK CHUCK?
Sarah: Mom, does a wood chuck really chuck wood?
Me: No
Sarah: Then why do they call it a wood chuck?
Me: I don't know it doesn't really make sense.
Sarah (in a totally serious voice): I wonder, how much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? I wonder that.
Me: (ha, ha) I wonder too.
Sarah: Isn't a wood chuck someone who chops down wood?
Me: (hee, hee) No, that's a....wood chopper I guess.
Sarah: I think they should be called a wood chuck because that makes more sense.
Me: A wood chuck can also be called a ground hog. That makes more sense.
Sarah: WHAT'S WITH THE HOG! Have you ever seen a hog? It doesn't look anything like a hog, maybe a little chubby but still!
Me: (chuckle).
Sarah: Why do you keep laughing at me?
Sarah (with lips puffed out, emphasizing every word but still totally serious): How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck WOULD chuck wood?
Sarah: I think it should be "would" not "could". I like that way better.
Me: Because its your way?
Sarah: No, because it is better that way.
Me: Well, maybe people assume that if a wood chuck COULD chuck wood, it would. Its just that it can't, but if it could, it would. People assume that.
I don't think Sarah was convinced but we had arrived at the school.
Me: Have a good day!
Sarah: Bye.
Me: No
Sarah: Then why do they call it a wood chuck?
Me: I don't know it doesn't really make sense.
Sarah (in a totally serious voice): I wonder, how much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? I wonder that.
Me: (ha, ha) I wonder too.
Sarah: Isn't a wood chuck someone who chops down wood?
Me: (hee, hee) No, that's a....wood chopper I guess.
Sarah: I think they should be called a wood chuck because that makes more sense.
Me: A wood chuck can also be called a ground hog. That makes more sense.
Sarah: WHAT'S WITH THE HOG! Have you ever seen a hog? It doesn't look anything like a hog, maybe a little chubby but still!
Me: (chuckle).
Sarah: Why do you keep laughing at me?
Sarah (with lips puffed out, emphasizing every word but still totally serious): How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck WOULD chuck wood?
Sarah: I think it should be "would" not "could". I like that way better.
Me: Because its your way?
Sarah: No, because it is better that way.
Me: Well, maybe people assume that if a wood chuck COULD chuck wood, it would. Its just that it can't, but if it could, it would. People assume that.
I don't think Sarah was convinced but we had arrived at the school.
Me: Have a good day!
Sarah: Bye.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WOULD BE SO MUCH CRYING AND WHINING
Before I was a parent, no one told me there would be so much crying and whining involved. Some of it my own. It started almost immediately the day I gave birth to my firstborn. After spending thirty-two hours trying to stifle my own cries I was wheeled off to rest. The wails of some screaming infant could be heard all the way down the hospital corridors through the closed doors of my hospital room. Could that be my cute little Thomas? It certainly was and now fourteen years after starting my journey as a parent, I'm still listening to various snifflings, whinings and wailings.
To tell you the truth I've found it quite surprising. Before kids, I was living under the illusion that kids cried for good reasons. Now I realize that a good reason may be that they fear the bathtub drain may suck them down. Or that the tag on their shirt is scratchy. Or that the sound of a garbage bag being shaken out is scarey. Or numerous other seemingly innocent events that are actually quite sinister.
Another illusion I had was that when a parent said no, it meant no. It isn't supposed to mean cry your heart out and whine for hours. Okay, I am exaggerating a bit, but I did think you only had to deal with a few minor tantrums. Once the kids know you mean business, they just become like little lumps of clay waiting to be moulded into whatever you want, right? It only takes a couple of "no's" before they fall into line, right? It doesn't take six or seven years of constant work to mould their personalities, right?
Well, my bubble has been burst and I am now living in reality. Reality really isn't so bad. I'm getting used to the crying and whining just at the stage that I don't hear quite so much of it. Erin is no longer scared that she will be sucked down the drain. Thomas is brave enough to stand up to garbage bags and Sarah just cuts the tags out of her shirts. My kids have learned that no means no, unless there is a certain quaver in my voice that only they can detect. I've learned to say no without that quaver in my voice when I really mean business.
We've come a long way baby!
To tell you the truth I've found it quite surprising. Before kids, I was living under the illusion that kids cried for good reasons. Now I realize that a good reason may be that they fear the bathtub drain may suck them down. Or that the tag on their shirt is scratchy. Or that the sound of a garbage bag being shaken out is scarey. Or numerous other seemingly innocent events that are actually quite sinister.
Another illusion I had was that when a parent said no, it meant no. It isn't supposed to mean cry your heart out and whine for hours. Okay, I am exaggerating a bit, but I did think you only had to deal with a few minor tantrums. Once the kids know you mean business, they just become like little lumps of clay waiting to be moulded into whatever you want, right? It only takes a couple of "no's" before they fall into line, right? It doesn't take six or seven years of constant work to mould their personalities, right?
Well, my bubble has been burst and I am now living in reality. Reality really isn't so bad. I'm getting used to the crying and whining just at the stage that I don't hear quite so much of it. Erin is no longer scared that she will be sucked down the drain. Thomas is brave enough to stand up to garbage bags and Sarah just cuts the tags out of her shirts. My kids have learned that no means no, unless there is a certain quaver in my voice that only they can detect. I've learned to say no without that quaver in my voice when I really mean business.
We've come a long way baby!
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
NICHE, OR NICH?
Have you ever noticed that people love to fit into a niche? There's all sorts of niche's. Some people like to fit in a niche that has a lot of people in it, like the soccer mom niche. Some find comfort in the niche that makes them feel smart like the brainy niche. Other's want to feel athletic and squeeze themself into the super jock niche. I find it bizarre that there is even a niche for people who think they are "unique" because being unique is so anti-niche. These unique niches include the wild and crazy people niche, the gothic teenagers niche and the earthy people niche. Then we have the battle of the niches, like the stay at home mom niche and the working mom niche. Breastfeeding versus bottlefeeding. The liberals and conservatives. Cat people versus dog people.
I have to be honest with you, I don't like niches and the thing that I like the least is how it is spelled. What is that "e" doing at the end anyway?
My dilemma is that since I hate niches, what niche do I want to fit into? You may wonder why I'm even asking this. Afterall, if I don't like niches, why would I want to fit into one? Because it actually sickens me to think that someone else may put me unwillingly into a niche that I don't want to be in. I'm actually starting to feel a little panicked. What if someone has already niched me!?! I don't want to be in any niche! I have no choice though, if I don't put myself in a niche, someone else will! Therefore, let it be known, I am hereby declaring myself the first member of the nich of people who want to spell nich without an "e"! Anyone care to join me? I'll warn you, sign up soon because membership will be limited. If we get too many members, it will be too much like a niche and not a nich. I will be the dictator of the nich and the only rule will be that members will always spell nich without an "e".
I have to be honest with you, I don't like niches and the thing that I like the least is how it is spelled. What is that "e" doing at the end anyway?
My dilemma is that since I hate niches, what niche do I want to fit into? You may wonder why I'm even asking this. Afterall, if I don't like niches, why would I want to fit into one? Because it actually sickens me to think that someone else may put me unwillingly into a niche that I don't want to be in. I'm actually starting to feel a little panicked. What if someone has already niched me!?! I don't want to be in any niche! I have no choice though, if I don't put myself in a niche, someone else will! Therefore, let it be known, I am hereby declaring myself the first member of the nich of people who want to spell nich without an "e"! Anyone care to join me? I'll warn you, sign up soon because membership will be limited. If we get too many members, it will be too much like a niche and not a nich. I will be the dictator of the nich and the only rule will be that members will always spell nich without an "e".
Monday, March 26, 2007
I WANT COFFEE!!!
Last night my daughter, Erin, came creeping up to me about an hour after she had gone to bed. I asked what was wrong and she told me she just wanted to let me know she was sleeping in the guest room. I asked if her sister, Sarah was keeping her awake by snoring. She said, no, it was just the opposite, she just didn't want to keep Sarah awake. I guess Erin had been crying and thought the noise would wake Sarah. I asked her what was wrong. She leaned over on the stairs and cried out "I WANT COFFEE!!" I just stared at the back of her head, trying to figure out if she had a major caffeine addiction that she hadn't told me about or if she was just sleep walking. I managed to ask what she meant. She had left her stuffed animal named "COFFEE" in the hotel room that we had been staying at a couple nights before and now she missed him! I tried not to laugh, afterall, this was serious!
Erin has a few favorite stuffed animals so I was a bit surprised that she was so upset. I decided to dig a little deeper. It turns out that the biggest thing that was bothering her was that it was HER fault. Aaahhh, imperfection! That was the real problem. So we had a little chat about accepting our imperfections. I told her how, after making tons of mistakes myself, I am learning to accept my own imperfections. This is just one of many mistakes she will make in her lifetime and chances are there will be some big ones. I told her that sometimes when I'm feeling really tense about some stupid thing I've done, I just release it. Its as simple as that. I give into the fact that I've made a mistake and I let it go in one great swoosh. Then I can relax and move on...until the next big mistake. I asked her if she could do that and she said, yes. I could see the peace come over her, so I gave her a kiss, tucked her in and said good night. I'm sure she slept tight. Hopefully she can carry the lesson with her through her entire life.
Erin has a few favorite stuffed animals so I was a bit surprised that she was so upset. I decided to dig a little deeper. It turns out that the biggest thing that was bothering her was that it was HER fault. Aaahhh, imperfection! That was the real problem. So we had a little chat about accepting our imperfections. I told her how, after making tons of mistakes myself, I am learning to accept my own imperfections. This is just one of many mistakes she will make in her lifetime and chances are there will be some big ones. I told her that sometimes when I'm feeling really tense about some stupid thing I've done, I just release it. Its as simple as that. I give into the fact that I've made a mistake and I let it go in one great swoosh. Then I can relax and move on...until the next big mistake. I asked her if she could do that and she said, yes. I could see the peace come over her, so I gave her a kiss, tucked her in and said good night. I'm sure she slept tight. Hopefully she can carry the lesson with her through her entire life.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
SNOW STORM
What do I see over there? A crazy man at the top of a hill on a snowboard?
Yes, there he is....he's wearing overalls and no coat or gloves!
Wow, so talented!
OOPS!
I'm going in, why did you make me come out here and do that!?!
LOOK AT ME I'M A POLAR BEAR!!
Thomas throw's a snowball, watch out Erin here it comes!
Get ready for the impact!
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