PRESTIGIOUS AWARD

I just got a phone call from Thomas's guidance counselor to inform me that "Tom will be receiving a prestigious award at the ceremony on June 8th". She hopes we will be there. PRESTIGIOUS! I will be there. I hate awards, but I will be there. It may be the math counts award he should get but I guess it could be something else...something even MORE prestigious! I know I should just be proud and shut up but I can't.

I am proud of my kids but some how awards just seem to promote an eagerness for other people to give you their approval. Yes, here is an award because we like you and you have done just what we want you to do. How many times have I fallen in the trap of trying to get people to like me. It seems when I try to get someone to like me I fail and end up miserable.

It seems as if, depending on the year, one or another of my kids will be a favorite. Up until fourth grade Erin was almost always picked as Citizen of the Year. Sarah has received quite a few of those herself. Thomas who is currently receiving this "prestigious award" was never picked as Citizen of the Year. Does this mean he is less of a good student/citizen? Apparently since being in Middle School he has become a better student since he has always gotten a Student of the Month award. Last year Thomas and Erin were both picked as Student of the Month in September - quite an "honor" since there are only 10 months in the school year. This year Thomas was once again picked early on and Erin never got picked to be Student of the Month at all. Does this mean that her status as a student has dropped dramatically in the past year? Usually Sarah gets a Student of the Month award during the first half of the year. This is the first year that Sarah has not received a Student of the Month award. So you see, round and round we go. No rhyme or reason. Just a matter of rubbing someone the wrong way or the right way. Underlying it all is that sense of "why doesn't this teacher like me?" or "Yeah, she/he likes me!"

Worse of all, I'm expected to go to the ceremonies, puffed up with pride. How annoying to the other parents who are more than likely thinking "Oh that Elise, she thinks her kids are so great". My family life is a very personal experience for me. I am proud of my kids but I don't need other people to recognize their goodness for me to feel that pride. I conduct my personal life the way I do regardless of what other people think - good or bad.

Its inevitable this time of the year that I have to spend at least a little bit of time whining about awards. I hope from all my whining, my children will learn something. Awards are not important. Being a good person. Being a happy person. Having a full life. Making the most of the gifts you were born with. Learning to make good decisions that will give you all of these things. These are the things that are important. Awards are the way that other people give you their approval. This is fine when people approve of you but what will you do when they don't approve of you? Will you be able to recognize your own talents? Will you still be happy with yourself?

When Thomas was in sixth grade his science teacher told me that Thomas was the best student he's ever had in his entire teaching history. What made his comment memorable to me was the fact that he told me that although Thomas was super smart, he was still just a regular kid. He fit right in with all the other kids and always had a smile on his face. That's what made me happy. The fact that this teacher took the time to tell me this means so much more to me than watching Thomas receive a "prestigious award".