I lay in bed last night thinking about my children's futures.
I don't want to be the kind of parent that tries to totally control what they do with their life but on the other hand I want to help them make wise decisions. I don't want them spending their life struggling financially because they didn't go to college, yet I realize that many successful people did not go to college. I do realize that those successful people without some sort of secondary education are few and far between. So with that in mind, college is pretty much expected with the understanding that when the time comes the ultimate decision is their own.
Mostly what I was thinking about last night was that if I let them follow their hearts they will choose what suits them best. I know this because every little kid says "when I grow up, I want to be..." and when I think of the things that they have chosen it totally fits their personalities.
Thomas has shown an interest in engineering and I can imagine him growing up and becoming an engineer or scientist. He just loves learning new information and figuring out how things work. Erin can't decide, but at one time she wanted to be a teacher or nurse. She has such a nurturing personality that she'll do well in a field like that. Sarah wants to write AND illustrate children's books. She is so creative and funky that she should definitely pursue some sort of artistic career.
It would be easy for my husband and me to see Thomas become an engineer because we are both engineers. We will need to learn to step back and let Erin and Sarah choose their own paths. If you know engineers, you would realize how foreign artists can be to us!
Que sera sera...
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6 comments:
I think this can be such a difficult balance to walk. I really want (and expect) my kids to go to college. But I don't want them to think that the only way to be successful in life is to go to college.
I remember talking to my little brother when he was a senior in high school (he's about 13 years younger than me), and he was totally in that mindset of "if I don't get into a good school, I'll be homeless at thirty," which I don't think is healthy at all. I don't want my kids to feel like they have to get in to Harvard, but I do want them to understand the benefits of an education, and of lifelong learning.
Sounds like you and your dh are the opposite of me and mine--if one of my kids wants to be an engineer, I'll have to call you!
landismom - it is really hard! I guess its partly that letting go thing too. There will come a time that they need to make there own decisions. Part of me would love to "guide" them forever but the other part of me wants them to become totally independent adults!
sometimes I even wonder if college is even a good idea, given the costs. Seems better if they go out and work for a while before they go to college. As for fields of study, I'm hoping my kids don't want to be doctors or lawyers, but something where they do what they love. For my daughter it might be related to writing, drawing, design; for my son it might be engineering.
But success means living a life you enjoy, doing something you love, not making tons of money or having status while not enjoying life... We'll see what happens.
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