JUNIOR HIGH, JUNIOR PEOPLE?

In our school district Junior High starts in sixth grade and ends in eighth grade. Its also called Middle School, not Junior High like where I grew up. Erin is in sixth grade and Thomas is in seventh grade so we are really in the thick of it. This whole process has me a bit worried. I try to remember what it was like when I was in sixth and seventh grade. It seems so different now with Erin announcing that she has seen sixth graders French kissing in an unobserved area of the hallway. That's not really the part that bothers me since I see that my kids have a more "normal" approach to the boy/girl thing. They seem to be slightlly interested, but get easily distracted.

What really worries me is the whole social interaction thing. I can see how spending their days in the Middle School just bashes away at their confidence. They seem to be holding up, but sometimes I wonder. I can point out how talented they are and let them know that it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks. But what about the constant barrage of negativity from all these other kids. I can sit back and objectively say that all these preadolescents and adolescents are just fighting to secure their spot in this world but how do I counteract their constant nastiness. I'm sure that Erin and Thomas are not contributing to the nastiness and that comes from their own confidence. They don't feel the need to put others down to build themselves up. I suppose I can take some comfort in that.

Erin talks to me more than Thomas and I can see an effect that the Middle School has had on her. It makes me sad and frustrated to see her beaten down like that. We went to my neices First Communion party and Erin didn't want to dance with me. She may believe that I was unhappy that I didn't have anyone to dance with but that wasn't the problem. I just hated to see my happy carefree girl stifled. There were girls her age there and I'm sure that had an effect on her. She's now old enough to realize that her peers are looking her up and down and judging her. But she's not old enough to realize that they are doing it in a desperate attempt to make themselves feel better. I have always told her that is why people judge you, but I think that is a bit of wisdom that takes a long time to really sink in. Took me 40 years to really understand it! I know that some people would just pass this off as a Rite of Passage, but it hurts. This is such an important time in their lives to get it right and I'm worried. Don't get me wrong, Erin is no shrinking violet, she has much more confidence than a lot of girls her age but I do see an effect. As a friend of mine always says, its like a drippy faucet. I can build them up at home but all those comments and snide remarks at school can wear them down.

What about Thomas? He seems to be fairing well, but like I said he is a bit more quiet than Erin. I guess I just have to trust him when he tells me things are okay.

I'm sure we will all survive, but I feel the need to be on top of this issue. I don't really feel that I have the key yet. In the meantime I will continue to talk and build them up at home. I will sit back and hope that is enough armor to survive the battle.