I've come to realize that I've spent a lot of time trying to make my kids happy....all the time. Looking back to when they were babies I felt like my job was to figure out why they were crying and then solve the problem so they would stop. As they got older, I needed to figure out how to stop those toddler frustrations that all too often would turn into screaming rages. It would break my heart to see them in their elementary school years facing problems at school. I couldn't be there to control every situation.
Now with my two oldest in middle school I'm overwhelmed. The entire school is filled with hundreds of adolescents with seething hormones! EEK! It seems that in the moments when they are happy, then their friend's moods bring them down. And just try to solve a problem when it comes from hormonal moodiness! So during this past year I have come to realize that being unhappy sometimes is okay. I have explored the fact that everyone has a lot of different feelings inside of them and they just happen. People get angry and sad as well as happy. So, I've been trying to just give them space to let the feelings flow. I am keeping an eye out for a pattern of unhappiness so it doesn't get out of control. I've also told them that they can spend a little alone time with their feelings so I don't get too aggravated! But you know what, we all sometimes get angry or sad about stupid things. We all have those moments when we think the whole world is against us when its not. The key is moving on from it. Getting up the next day and realizing its a new day. As long as my kids have that ability, its okay.
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11 comments:
I think that's a great realization to have. I hope when my kids are in middle school, I'm sane enough to have it myself.
Stumbled onto this page. Great realization to have.
OMG, tell me about it. Life was so much less complicated when they were 5 years old... But the moods are a reality that we just have to learn to deal with, knowing that in the long run all will be well, as long as we maintain contact, check in and let them know we're here.
Wow, so true. With a 10 year old and a 5 year old, I feel so caught up in the whirlwind.
Thanks for the comments everyone. Yes, life is not perfect....
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