WHY?

Why do people save their goodness for times when things are going bad? I noticed that when I was going through all this health scare that some people who wouldn't usually bother to communicate with me, were suddenly full of compassion. They were calling and wondering how things were. I know I should appreciate this new found attention but I don't. I very much appreciate the people in my life who like me when things are going good as well as being there for me when things go bad. I often hear people say that hard times bring people together. That seems to be true, but I notice when the hard times are over people go back to the same old bickering and drama. So, that's why I get annoyed.

Likewise, why is it that when someone dies they become the most wonderful person ever? Its not that I want people to go to funerals and start criticizing the deceased. Its just that I think people should show a little more caring for the living. I can think of numerous times that the people who seemed to hate a person when they were alive were sobbing with sadness at that persons funeral. Could it be that the people who are crying are upset from their own guilt? I can even find that acceptable if those people then learn from that experience. That's not what I've observed though. On TV and in magazine articles I've often found that people claim that a traumatic event had "changed them forever". But my day to day experience has shown that people aren't changed forever. If that were the case then most of us would be walking around being more loving and understanding. Wouldn't that be nice.