Going to the Jersey Shore for awhile. Be back in a couple of weeks. Just in time to pay the vet to look over my two kitties. And for the orthodontist to torture two of my kiddies. We recovered from "phase one" of literally stretching their tiny little mouths out. Now within months they are entering "phase two". Phase two was a bit more pricey than phase one. For two kids with small mouths the grand total for both phases is over $12,500. That doesn't include what I've paid to have many of their baby teeth ripped out by the oral surgeon....
It all sounds so terrible, but really I'm glad that I have the money to give them the gift of a normal looking mouth. With my kids it wouldn't have been just a question of cosmetics. Their teeth were desperately overcrowded. I keep checking kiddo number three's mouth. Not looking so great...
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
For now I will just focus on V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N!!!
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Monday, June 27, 2005
TONIGHT I MISSED MY HUSBAND
You know what, the dishes don't just float from the table into the dishwasher! They get there by way of my husbands hands. After getting sucked into the computer, I realized that the dishes were not in the dishwasher! Oh yeah, Tom's on a business trip. I don't just get to cook and leave the table messy! Missing you poopsie! We ate, spaghetti and meatballs, and did you know that if you don't rinse the dishes that the dishwasher gets kinda orange? Inside joke with Tom and me. How many times has his father told us this fact (about the orange dishwasher problem)? When we were younger Tom and I had a standard rule that once you repeated something three times you would no longer be able to tell that story again. Now that we are both in our 40's (eek!) we have to work to stick to the three time rule. But apparently, as with his father once you hit your 70's and 80's you can keep repeating the story over and over and over and over....don't forget to rinse the spaghetti sauce off your dishes.
DO YOU LIKE YOURSELF?
Recently I asked my kids some questions at a time when I was alone with each of them.
My first question was, "Do you like yourself?"
Each of them answered yes without hesitation.
My second question was, "What things about yourself make you like yourself?"
Thomas answered "because I am a good person".
Erin answered "that I'm nice, Erica thinks I'm funny, but I know I'm not funny".
Sarah answered "how I am with other people, I'm nice to them and because I'm smart".
Then I asked if they thought that I liked them.
They all answered yes.
Then I asked what things did they think made me like them.
Thomas answered "that I'm a good person, is that what you want me to say?" I told him that I didn't want him to say anything except what he really thought.
Erin answered "that I'm good and nice to people".
Sarah answered "that I'm me".
Finally I asked what they thought other people liked about them.
Thomas answered "hmmm, these are hard questions, I'm going to have to think about that".
Erin answered "that I'm a good friend".
Sarah answered "the same things that I like about me".
My first question was, "Do you like yourself?"
Each of them answered yes without hesitation.
My second question was, "What things about yourself make you like yourself?"
Thomas answered "because I am a good person".
Erin answered "that I'm nice, Erica thinks I'm funny, but I know I'm not funny".
Sarah answered "how I am with other people, I'm nice to them and because I'm smart".
Then I asked if they thought that I liked them.
They all answered yes.
Then I asked what things did they think made me like them.
Thomas answered "that I'm a good person, is that what you want me to say?" I told him that I didn't want him to say anything except what he really thought.
Erin answered "that I'm good and nice to people".
Sarah answered "that I'm me".
Finally I asked what they thought other people liked about them.
Thomas answered "hmmm, these are hard questions, I'm going to have to think about that".
Erin answered "that I'm a good friend".
Sarah answered "the same things that I like about me".
ME AND MY IDEAS
An issue came up recently with my 11 year old daughter Erin that prompted me to contemplate how I have parented my children. I am happy with how I am raising my children and I feel no need to defend it nor brag about any successes that I've had in raising them. I choose to write about it here simply because I want to. Even in the short time that I have been blogging my reasons for my blog have evolved. I like to write and when I started this blog I thought it would be a perfect outlet and maybe I could write things that would be interesting or funny to other people. That would still be nice. However, it requires an effort to get other people to visit your blog and then its hard to worry about whether other people actually enjoy what you've written. Now I'm just writing mainly for myself. And I hope one day my children will enjoy it too. So if you do happen to read this, remember this is something I want to write and remember.
The issue Erin had concerned her observations of how another parent was disciplining their child (her best friend). It started a very involved discussion that began that day between her and I. It spilled over into the next day and ended up including all three of my kids.
I started out by telling her that the way I am as a parent is different from 95% of other parents. Her friend would survive her punishment. That's just the way life is.
Then we discussed the way I parent:
I see my children as people. I see them as my equal in many ways. They deserve to be treated as I would treat another adult. In some ways they are not my equal. I have more wisdom than them so I need to teach them how they should behave in the world. In some ways they are better than me. In their innocence, they always try their hardest to be good people. I don't really think I try as hard as them and in that way, they are better than me.
I have told them to do some things just because I said so. But in general that is not my philosophy. I am one of those annoying people who discuss and explain everything. That does not mean that I let them get away with things.
I do sometimes scream and yell and go crazy. I do frequently apologize when my reaction is out of line with whatever they did wrong. I tell them I still think they did something wrong, but I was grumpy so I got a bit out of control on the yelling thing. I started the apologizing thing when I realized that I would never be able to totally stop yelling. I'm sometimes impatient, sometimes I get a headache, so sometimes I yell!!
I made up three rules when my kids were little and I've never had to add any.
1. Never hurt someone physically.
2. Never hurt someone with your words.
3. Always be safe in whatever you are doing.
These rules don't just apply to them, but they also apply to me. Therefore, I have never hit or spanked my kids. I used to be annoying and get on my soapbox a bit about it because I felt a need to defend my no spanking position. I no longer feel that need. I used to have a special hold to restrain my son when he was trying to attack me when he was young.
I can only remember saying something really mean once. I told my daughter that she was being a mean and nasty little girl. It hurt me as it was coming out of my mouth. How mean and nasty was I being?
Hmm. The safety one, maybe I'm not so good about that one. Hee! Hee!
I have never had any regular chores for my kids. I expect them to help me whenever I ask them to but its not very often. They almost never make their beds, for that matter neither do I!!
I have never forced them to eat anything. Sometimes they want soda or koolaid with their breakfast and I let them have it. They love broccoli and spinach and almost all vegetables. Sometimes they want just a banana for dessert. My only guideline with eating is that they can't eat all junk and no good stuff. I did not breastfeed. I tried for five days with my last munchkin before I decided it was not for me. Here's the real kicker, I really don't think it mattered.
My only guideline for clothes is that they need to have clean undies and no dressing sexy for school. Nothing needs to match and a stain here and there is no big deal.
Never had a rule about no toy guns.
They could jump on the beds until they weighed 50 or so pounds. They still climb all over the couches.
Now that they are older (8, 11 and 12 years old), I can't remember the last time that I punished them. Even when they were little, all they ever had to do was go to their room for a little while.
Many people over the years have judged my decisions. You need to spank them. They don't eat enough. Don't you think you could try a little harder to breastfeed? I could see many people gritting their teeth and holding back judgements.
All those years of going against the grain of standard parenting ideas. But in the end, I'm happy, they are happy, and things have worked out just fine. I just smile and nod when someone tells me how great my kids behave. How I've done such a great job raising them. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. I wish I had known that for all those years.
The issue Erin had concerned her observations of how another parent was disciplining their child (her best friend). It started a very involved discussion that began that day between her and I. It spilled over into the next day and ended up including all three of my kids.
I started out by telling her that the way I am as a parent is different from 95% of other parents. Her friend would survive her punishment. That's just the way life is.
Then we discussed the way I parent:
I see my children as people. I see them as my equal in many ways. They deserve to be treated as I would treat another adult. In some ways they are not my equal. I have more wisdom than them so I need to teach them how they should behave in the world. In some ways they are better than me. In their innocence, they always try their hardest to be good people. I don't really think I try as hard as them and in that way, they are better than me.
I have told them to do some things just because I said so. But in general that is not my philosophy. I am one of those annoying people who discuss and explain everything. That does not mean that I let them get away with things.
I do sometimes scream and yell and go crazy. I do frequently apologize when my reaction is out of line with whatever they did wrong. I tell them I still think they did something wrong, but I was grumpy so I got a bit out of control on the yelling thing. I started the apologizing thing when I realized that I would never be able to totally stop yelling. I'm sometimes impatient, sometimes I get a headache, so sometimes I yell!!
I made up three rules when my kids were little and I've never had to add any.
1. Never hurt someone physically.
2. Never hurt someone with your words.
3. Always be safe in whatever you are doing.
These rules don't just apply to them, but they also apply to me. Therefore, I have never hit or spanked my kids. I used to be annoying and get on my soapbox a bit about it because I felt a need to defend my no spanking position. I no longer feel that need. I used to have a special hold to restrain my son when he was trying to attack me when he was young.
I can only remember saying something really mean once. I told my daughter that she was being a mean and nasty little girl. It hurt me as it was coming out of my mouth. How mean and nasty was I being?
Hmm. The safety one, maybe I'm not so good about that one. Hee! Hee!
I have never had any regular chores for my kids. I expect them to help me whenever I ask them to but its not very often. They almost never make their beds, for that matter neither do I!!
I have never forced them to eat anything. Sometimes they want soda or koolaid with their breakfast and I let them have it. They love broccoli and spinach and almost all vegetables. Sometimes they want just a banana for dessert. My only guideline with eating is that they can't eat all junk and no good stuff. I did not breastfeed. I tried for five days with my last munchkin before I decided it was not for me. Here's the real kicker, I really don't think it mattered.
My only guideline for clothes is that they need to have clean undies and no dressing sexy for school. Nothing needs to match and a stain here and there is no big deal.
Never had a rule about no toy guns.
They could jump on the beds until they weighed 50 or so pounds. They still climb all over the couches.
Now that they are older (8, 11 and 12 years old), I can't remember the last time that I punished them. Even when they were little, all they ever had to do was go to their room for a little while.
Many people over the years have judged my decisions. You need to spank them. They don't eat enough. Don't you think you could try a little harder to breastfeed? I could see many people gritting their teeth and holding back judgements.
All those years of going against the grain of standard parenting ideas. But in the end, I'm happy, they are happy, and things have worked out just fine. I just smile and nod when someone tells me how great my kids behave. How I've done such a great job raising them. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. I wish I had known that for all those years.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
MORE COMPETITION
Don't you hate it when you confide to a friend about a problem and they come back with a story of their own just to top your story? What's the scoop with that? My problem is way worse than your problem. My childhood was way worse than your childhood. My in-laws are way more annoying than yours. My family is way more wacky than your family. Ecetera.
Is this problem competition? Hardship competition? Insanity competition?
Friendship Rule #1: When a friend confides in you, just be supportive. Resist the urge to one-up them with a worse scenario from your own personal experience.
Important phrases to memorize: "Wow, really?!" "I know what you mean!" "How terrible it must have been for you!"
Just for the record, my family is definitely WAY crazier than yours, so there! Somehow winning that competition just doesn't feel right...
Is this problem competition? Hardship competition? Insanity competition?
Friendship Rule #1: When a friend confides in you, just be supportive. Resist the urge to one-up them with a worse scenario from your own personal experience.
Important phrases to memorize: "Wow, really?!" "I know what you mean!" "How terrible it must have been for you!"
Just for the record, my family is definitely WAY crazier than yours, so there! Somehow winning that competition just doesn't feel right...
SUCH A NICE MOM
Today Sarah came to me and asked if she could cut the hair on more of her plastic ponies. I'm talking about the "pretty ponies" that purposely have really long hair so you can have fun brushing it. I already had let her trim a few awhile back. I asked her if she was really okay with them having short hair. She said yes, so I said go ahead, they're your ponies. She then told me that I was "such a nice mom" and ran off to make all her ponies bald. Its as simple as that. Her compliment warmed my heart.
I've often pondered why I have so much trouble accepting compliments from other people in my life. I'm still not sure why I cringe when someone says something nice to me. I almost always feel as if it has other meanings and is only disguised as a compliment. If someone tells me it looks like I lost weight I can only think how they must have thought I looked fat before. If they tell me my children are well behaved I wonder what they'd think if they saw them in a moment when they weren't being well behaved. Sometimes I feel a compliment is a person's way of telling me that today I have succeeded in fitting into society but be careful about tomorrow. If they notice how good I am, they would definitely notice if I wasn't being so good. I'm reading between the lines and I don't like what's written there. Since I've slowly grown more secure in myself as a person, and I have less of a need for compliments, I think my tolerance for insincerity has gone down.
Sarah's compliment was heartfelt and simple. And that's why its so easy to accept.
I've often pondered why I have so much trouble accepting compliments from other people in my life. I'm still not sure why I cringe when someone says something nice to me. I almost always feel as if it has other meanings and is only disguised as a compliment. If someone tells me it looks like I lost weight I can only think how they must have thought I looked fat before. If they tell me my children are well behaved I wonder what they'd think if they saw them in a moment when they weren't being well behaved. Sometimes I feel a compliment is a person's way of telling me that today I have succeeded in fitting into society but be careful about tomorrow. If they notice how good I am, they would definitely notice if I wasn't being so good. I'm reading between the lines and I don't like what's written there. Since I've slowly grown more secure in myself as a person, and I have less of a need for compliments, I think my tolerance for insincerity has gone down.
Sarah's compliment was heartfelt and simple. And that's why its so easy to accept.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
THE MOST WHINEY PARENT AWARD
I hate those end of the school year award ceremonies. Every year is the same thing for me. I force myself to go to each ceremony for all three of my kids. The first one that I attend, I sit quietly for the first half trying to control myself, then I can no longer contain myself and start saying obnoxious remarks to whoever happens to be sitting next to me. Then I come home and start to rant at my family about how stupid the awards are. The next one I go to I start to whine to the person next to me as soon as I sit down. I come home with a headache. The headache continues until the end of the third one. Then I'm free at last, thank gawd I'm free at last!
For the record, my kids always get at least one award. They have been blessed with the ability to get good grades. But what about the kids that aren't able to get A's? What about the quiet kids that are great people but don't have the personalities to be the citizen of the year? What about the kids that play in the band and orchestra but don't have the talent to be outstanding? I know that some kids are motivated to perform because of the possibility of receiving one of those awards. Is that the message that we want to give them? Awards when you are a grown-up are few and far between but you still need to go to work everyday. You still need to get up every day and meet your responsibilities. I think a kind word or compliment from their teacher would be much better.
Award ceremonies are fine for the people who have kids that get awards but not so great for ones that don't. I have tried to put myself in their shoes. I guess I like to root for the underdog. I don't think that those underdogs should have to keep cheering for the "winners". By the way, if you are an underdog, I think you'll be the real winner in the long run! You'll learn to live your life to make yourself happy and not be looking for a pat on the back all the time.
Why do I go? Because it makes my kids happy. Don't ask me why it makes them happy, because by now they know its going to make me rant and rave for days.
What do you think? I don't want to be the only one ranting! Even if you are going to rant against me, I want to hear, just keep it clean please. Maybe you'll open my eyes to another point of view.
For the record, my kids always get at least one award. They have been blessed with the ability to get good grades. But what about the kids that aren't able to get A's? What about the quiet kids that are great people but don't have the personalities to be the citizen of the year? What about the kids that play in the band and orchestra but don't have the talent to be outstanding? I know that some kids are motivated to perform because of the possibility of receiving one of those awards. Is that the message that we want to give them? Awards when you are a grown-up are few and far between but you still need to go to work everyday. You still need to get up every day and meet your responsibilities. I think a kind word or compliment from their teacher would be much better.
Award ceremonies are fine for the people who have kids that get awards but not so great for ones that don't. I have tried to put myself in their shoes. I guess I like to root for the underdog. I don't think that those underdogs should have to keep cheering for the "winners". By the way, if you are an underdog, I think you'll be the real winner in the long run! You'll learn to live your life to make yourself happy and not be looking for a pat on the back all the time.
Why do I go? Because it makes my kids happy. Don't ask me why it makes them happy, because by now they know its going to make me rant and rave for days.
What do you think? I don't want to be the only one ranting! Even if you are going to rant against me, I want to hear, just keep it clean please. Maybe you'll open my eyes to another point of view.
Sunday, June 12, 2005
FATHER'S DAY
I'm publishing my Father's Day post a week early in the hopes that the people who do read my blog will have a week to consider how they would like to thank the fathers in their life. Men can seem like they are a lot different than women, but I think that a few words telling them the things that we appreciate would mean a lot!
The following is an article that I had published in a local paper 5 years ago. Somehow as I read it, its a bit disappointing to me. I seem to have trouble finding the words to show my appreciation for all that my husband does. Yet, the times that I am grumpy, I don't seem to have trouble finding the words to complain...
My husband is one of those people who is constantly busy. He's always doing some job around the house and still never complains when I say "do you think you could do...". He's a GREAT father who wants his kids to have happy memories of fishing, boating, camping, etc.. He leaves some aspects of parenting to me but I think that he truly believes that those are things that I do better (unfortunately, yelling is definitely something that I do better!) He has incredible patience with the kids and with me. With all that he does, he still is able to find the energy to show appreciation for all the things that I do. He constantly compliments me on how I look, how well I cook and how good of a mother I am. I don't give him much opportunity to compliment me on keeping a clean house, yet he never complains about the mess. I don't always take the time to show the appreciation that I feel.
Tom, you are GREAT!! I do feel appreciation for the husband and father that you have been all these years! I could never find the right words to show just how wonderful I think you are, but I hope you know!
I spend a lot of time telling my husband what he’s doing wrong. No, twinkies are not considered a vegetable. No, a four year old shouldn’t be climbing a twenty-foot ladder. I feel it’s my duty to inform him about these shortcomings so that he has a chance to correct them. The layman’s term for this is nagging. Although I may make him feel incompetent I have to admit the kids do just as well with him watching them as they do with me. They haven’t had any serious accidents while with him even though I’ve walked in on many situations that made my eyes bug out. Can it be that a father is just as good as a mother? My six year old recently helped answer that question when she asked that her Dad accompany her to the hospital when she needed to have tubes put into her ears. I thought she would be upset without me but she was just as happy with Dad’s hugs and comfort, as she would have been with mine.
I see many fathers today who step in and get involved with all aspects of parenting. They nurture, they discipline, they change diapers but most significant of all I even see some who feel guilt! We mothers have felt guilty about everything from yelling too much to giving our kids candy for breakfast. Its nice to know fathers can experience the same joy of worrying that we do.
Father’s Day is a good time to notice all those little things our husbands do. My husband is like a little elf following me around straightening up and helping out. He probably does not realize how much I appreciate what he does. When he goes on business trips I’m reminded of just how much he does do. For example, when he’s home he always remembers to close the garage door. When he’s gone all the local wildlife jumps for joy because they know I’ll forget and they can feast on our garbage! That’s just one of many things he does to make life easier.
We all seem to let our lives get so hectic that we don’t take time to say thank you for everyday things. Thanks for taking out the garbage, thanks for loading the dishwasher, thanks for reading to the kids, thanks for closing that garage door. This Father’s Day we should all say thanks and maybe we can resolve to do it more frequently. That’s better than any funny looking tie we could buy!
The following is an article that I had published in a local paper 5 years ago. Somehow as I read it, its a bit disappointing to me. I seem to have trouble finding the words to show my appreciation for all that my husband does. Yet, the times that I am grumpy, I don't seem to have trouble finding the words to complain...
My husband is one of those people who is constantly busy. He's always doing some job around the house and still never complains when I say "do you think you could do...". He's a GREAT father who wants his kids to have happy memories of fishing, boating, camping, etc.. He leaves some aspects of parenting to me but I think that he truly believes that those are things that I do better (unfortunately, yelling is definitely something that I do better!) He has incredible patience with the kids and with me. With all that he does, he still is able to find the energy to show appreciation for all the things that I do. He constantly compliments me on how I look, how well I cook and how good of a mother I am. I don't give him much opportunity to compliment me on keeping a clean house, yet he never complains about the mess. I don't always take the time to show the appreciation that I feel.
Tom, you are GREAT!! I do feel appreciation for the husband and father that you have been all these years! I could never find the right words to show just how wonderful I think you are, but I hope you know!
Happy Father’s Day
I spend a lot of time telling my husband what he’s doing wrong. No, twinkies are not considered a vegetable. No, a four year old shouldn’t be climbing a twenty-foot ladder. I feel it’s my duty to inform him about these shortcomings so that he has a chance to correct them. The layman’s term for this is nagging. Although I may make him feel incompetent I have to admit the kids do just as well with him watching them as they do with me. They haven’t had any serious accidents while with him even though I’ve walked in on many situations that made my eyes bug out. Can it be that a father is just as good as a mother? My six year old recently helped answer that question when she asked that her Dad accompany her to the hospital when she needed to have tubes put into her ears. I thought she would be upset without me but she was just as happy with Dad’s hugs and comfort, as she would have been with mine.
I see many fathers today who step in and get involved with all aspects of parenting. They nurture, they discipline, they change diapers but most significant of all I even see some who feel guilt! We mothers have felt guilty about everything from yelling too much to giving our kids candy for breakfast. Its nice to know fathers can experience the same joy of worrying that we do.
Father’s Day is a good time to notice all those little things our husbands do. My husband is like a little elf following me around straightening up and helping out. He probably does not realize how much I appreciate what he does. When he goes on business trips I’m reminded of just how much he does do. For example, when he’s home he always remembers to close the garage door. When he’s gone all the local wildlife jumps for joy because they know I’ll forget and they can feast on our garbage! That’s just one of many things he does to make life easier.
We all seem to let our lives get so hectic that we don’t take time to say thank you for everyday things. Thanks for taking out the garbage, thanks for loading the dishwasher, thanks for reading to the kids, thanks for closing that garage door. This Father’s Day we should all say thanks and maybe we can resolve to do it more frequently. That’s better than any funny looking tie we could buy!
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
GEESH, I DON'T NEED THIS
I got home tonight from my daughters singing concert at 8:30 pm. She stepped on this mutilated piece of plastic and after a moment I figured out what it was. It was a dog chewed plastic ant hotel. You know the kind with POISON in them! Geesh! My head hurts. He seems to be alert and breathing fine, the dog I mean. It doesn't look like he could have gotten much poison. And this late, there isn't anyplace I can go or call anyway. With my luck, he'll probably just get some digestive problems. Did I mention my head hurts? His name is Beau, and sometimes we like to call him Bozo or would that be Beau-zo? Like now. Like when he gets sprayed by a skunk. Like when he does all those other stupid things dogs like to do. My head hurts...
Monday, June 06, 2005
THE BREAKFAST CLUB
Some mothers that I know invited me to start joining them in their monthly breakfasts at the Donut Connection. I have to tell you, I have totally enjoyed my time with them. We all have different personalities, but we get along like a bunch of peas in a pod. We talk, we complain, we laugh and at our last breakfast we cried, well, a couple of us got something in our eye... You may be thinking we were sad because now it is summer and we will not be having our breakfasts. No, it was not that, nor was it the fact that one of our members is moving down south.
It seemed to be the day of bad news. One woman just found out that her husband has cancer, this coming only a couple years after her own miraculous recovery from a stroke. Another woman chose to be quiet about her own recent diagnosis of stomach cancer. Maybe worse of all was the mother who needed to bring her son to have an MRI because he has lost much of his periphreal vision. We said a prayer for them and for the mother who is not in our breakfast club, but was at the same moment undergoing surgery for two brain tumors and an aneurysm.
We didn't talk a lot about anyone's specific problem. I think it may have been because everyone just wanted a moment to be happy, to not have to think about their battles. For me that's what the breakfast club has always been about, one morning in my month that does not feel like a struggle. A time that I can laugh at the stress. A time when I don't feel judged. I am saddened by the fact that my friends now have to face these tremendous challenges but am heartened by the fact that maybe our little club has given them a moment of peace.
Support, hope, friendship.
Good luck my friends.
It seemed to be the day of bad news. One woman just found out that her husband has cancer, this coming only a couple years after her own miraculous recovery from a stroke. Another woman chose to be quiet about her own recent diagnosis of stomach cancer. Maybe worse of all was the mother who needed to bring her son to have an MRI because he has lost much of his periphreal vision. We said a prayer for them and for the mother who is not in our breakfast club, but was at the same moment undergoing surgery for two brain tumors and an aneurysm.
We didn't talk a lot about anyone's specific problem. I think it may have been because everyone just wanted a moment to be happy, to not have to think about their battles. For me that's what the breakfast club has always been about, one morning in my month that does not feel like a struggle. A time that I can laugh at the stress. A time when I don't feel judged. I am saddened by the fact that my friends now have to face these tremendous challenges but am heartened by the fact that maybe our little club has given them a moment of peace.
Support, hope, friendship.
Good luck my friends.
Saturday, June 04, 2005
WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY BRAIN?
In order to write this I needed to start a file with just a title at a time that I had it in my mind but not enough time to start writing it otherwise I wouldn't even remember to write it. If that first sentence doesn't make sense to you, don't worry it doesn't really make sense to me and at this point I don't know if it should make sense to me! My brain is no longer functioning in the same way it did 13 years ago. I can only remember that things have been...different...for that long because that was when I was pregnant for the first time. I clearly remember (the fact that a memory from that long ago is clear is a miracle in itself!) saying to myself, once I have the baby, then my mind will get back to normal. Its been a downhill slide ever since.
I like to mask my anxiety with laughter, but in reality, I'm very disturbed by my declining cognitive function. I have found myself doing such idiotic things. I know you want to hear about some of those idiotic things because I absolutely love to hear about other people's "brain farts". That's what my friend likes to call them. When I hear that other people my age are suffering from a similar mental decline I take comfort in hearing their stories. Are my brain farts louder than theirs? Maybe theirs are more stinky! I willingly admit that I analyze these things in a pathetic attempt at making myself feel better. Sorry guys, your dementia is my ego boost. I know someone, lets call her Diana, who put 12 eggs in some brownies she was baking. My only reaction was that maybe, just maybe I haven't done anything that bad yet. Of course, I probably have and just am so far gone that I didn't even realize it. For all I know my husband's high cholesterol is a result of my own egg faux paus.
I've got to stop writing for now because my mind is starting to go blank. Yes, I'm serious...
I like to mask my anxiety with laughter, but in reality, I'm very disturbed by my declining cognitive function. I have found myself doing such idiotic things. I know you want to hear about some of those idiotic things because I absolutely love to hear about other people's "brain farts". That's what my friend likes to call them. When I hear that other people my age are suffering from a similar mental decline I take comfort in hearing their stories. Are my brain farts louder than theirs? Maybe theirs are more stinky! I willingly admit that I analyze these things in a pathetic attempt at making myself feel better. Sorry guys, your dementia is my ego boost. I know someone, lets call her Diana, who put 12 eggs in some brownies she was baking. My only reaction was that maybe, just maybe I haven't done anything that bad yet. Of course, I probably have and just am so far gone that I didn't even realize it. For all I know my husband's high cholesterol is a result of my own egg faux paus.
I've got to stop writing for now because my mind is starting to go blank. Yes, I'm serious...
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