Lately I don't ever seem to watch entire television shows, but surfing through the channels recently I heard that 94% of parents say that they spank their kids. I was a bit surprised that only 6% of parents are like me and have never used spanking. I haven't thought about it for awhile because my youngest is almost nine years old and I haven't had the urge to wholop them for quite some time. Yes, I had the urge many times over the years but never followed through.
I have to admit that it must have appeared that I was up on my soapbox defending the Nonspankers of America many times. I am sorry for this because I'm sure that it made others feel judged. I can't change things I said but I will clarify things now. I felt an urge to defend myself because many times I felt judged. I was told that I should spank my kids because every kid needs to be spanked. It also seemed to frustrate others to see me taking the slower nonspanking methods of discipline when my kids would act up. Also, since I wanted to spank them in my times of frustration, I think a lot of my anti-spanking talk was in done in order to justify to myself that I was doing the right thing.
I want people to know that it is possible to raise your kids without spanking them. Mine did not turn out spoiled and out of control. In fact, I think its just the opposite, they are really well behaved and have a lot of self discipline. However, I would never try to convince another person that my way is right for them. I actually believe that for some people the best way may be the spanking route. In the end its only important that you provide some sort of fair discipline that doesn't break a childs spirit. Even more important is what you do when you are not disciplining them. If you make some mistakes now and then in the discipline department they will forgive you if they know they are loved.
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2 comments:
Really, 94%? That is shocking to me.
We have never spanked either, and my major reason for never starting to spank my kids is my fear that I would do it in anger and hurt them. It is hard to discipline kids without spanking them, but I'm not convinced that it's easy to discipline kids if you do spank--I think it sets up a different kind of hard.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Landismom, I do agree but I've also come to the conclusion that people who spank only occasionally don't end up with that "different kind of hard". Actually, I was thinking that the 94% probably included people who only spank rarely, making the number very high. I could talk up a storm on why I didn't spank, but basically its for the same reason you didn't!
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