FIRST "VACATION" OF THE SUMMER

Our first trip this summer was to NH to visit my relatives. I have discovered that only about 25% of our time can be spent interacting with them or they drive me crazy. Fortunately, this fact has somehow been imprinted in my brain. I say fortunately because unfortunately, the fact that my family is WACKO has not seemed to stick in my mind! I somehow think that I can have a family gathering without having to listen to the latest "gossip".

In my family when you say "oh did so and so get married?", you are more than likely going to get "I don't know" as a reply. Yes, people in my family get married in secret. It has happened several times. Eventually, after a few years, people find out. Mostly, we just look for wedding rings to show up. In the mean time people just whisper.

As in all families, problems among members are always there. The problem for me is trying to determine who is at fault. One wacko has a problem with another wacko...whose fault is it?!?!

This post would be way more interesting if I could give you details but I have decided to always be careful with what I post. I only post things that I wouldn't mind terribly if people found out. If any of the wackos read this they will just think its someone else who is the wacko one. That's the way I want to keep it. I don't want to hurt anyone, not even a wacko.

GARDENING

I really love to garden and slowly over the past 20 years I have gotten better and better at it. Still not very good but at least I get to eat some vegetables from my garden. This year I have had a handful of strawberries, quite a few peas, lettuce and radishes. Later I should have some tomatoes, beans, carrots, cucumbers and zucchinis. I'm still working on getting some peppers, swiss chard and beets to grow and one of these years I will be successful. They are three things that I seem unable to produce. I used to be able to grow swiss chard and for some reason I just can't anymore. I read, I pamper and I wonder....

I'm always very proud of my impatients that I hang from my front porch. I save seed and start them new every year. They end up looking pretty darn good.

I always try something new every year. Last year I started asparagus from seed and I'm happy to report that it at least survived the winter. I also started strawberries last year and added some more this year. I'm hoping for a bigger crop next year. This year my new and interesting projects are an upside down hanging tomato plant (not doing so well) and iceberg lettuce.

For many years I have grown tomatoes and tried to grow peppers. For many years I didn't know that cutworms existed until last year when I READ about them. So I thought "what the heck, I might as well put cutworm collars on my tomatoes and peppers". So last year I did. This year when I transplanted my tomatoes into the garden I put cutworm collars on them. I got lazy when I transplanted my peppers. Why worry, afterall, so many years without a cutworm collar and no problems. Well, I lost two of my peppers to cutworms. Its almost as if they came to my garden eyeing those cutworm collars saying "we'll just wait until she slips up". Its weird if you ask me. Almost as weird as the fact that I used to be successful with swiss chard and now I can't grow it. I know experienced gardening people might say "how can she NOT grow swiss chard?" Well, I can't, but SOMEDAY I will!! So what if my rhubarb looks half dead. So what if rhubarb is one of those plants that most people can't kill if they tried. Well, I could kill it if I tried!!

SARAH'S HAIRCUT

Did you know that there are only two girls in the 5th grade that have short haircuts? Sarah decided to get her haircut really short and there is only one other girl that has short hair and its not as short as Sarah's. When she told me what she wanted to do in the last few days of 4th grade I gave her some warnings. Warning A was it would take a long time to grow out if she didn't like it. Warning B was that the other kids were going to laugh and say she looked like a boy. Warning C was that she would have to put suntan lotion on her ears now.

Fortunately, she LOVES it (its really cute). The kids did laugh but she had told me before hand that it wouldn't bother her and it didn't (I loved her confidence!). No sunburned ears yet!

Here she is with Beau and his new haircut!

It can also be styled to look like this, that is if you want to jump on a trampoline!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

Today is my 20th wedding anniversary! (Plus six years together before we were married makes 26 years.) Wow! Its hard to believe that its been that long. I sincerely hope that my kids can find someone that they are able to be happy with for that long. I think of how much we've changed over those years and am amazed. I was only 17 years old when we started to date although Tom was "an older man" at 21 years old. I think of other peoples opinions, many thought we were all wrong for each other.

Things I heard from people were:

She's just going out with him because of his car (a blue Camero).
They just don't seem like a good match.
She would be nicer if she wasn't going out with him.
From my father: "We don't like those kind of people, they have cocktails as soon as they come home, then a cocktail with dinner and another one before they go to bed." (Tom never drinks and his parents rarely do)
A long distance relationship will never work. (He was in NJ and I was in NH)
Overheard from an uncle: "Now I know why they are not happy with them being together." Not sure what made him come to that opinion.

I also heard things like:

You are so lucky to be so young and you've already found the person you will be with for life.
Many people have told me over the years how much they admire my marriage and how they want their marriage to be just like mine.

So the moral of the story is to follow your heart but keep a practical side to your thoughts too. Only you can choose the person that is right for you. Sometimes its hard to block out what others are saying but you can't let it influence you. It could backfire in two ways - one is that other people's opinions may make you leave the person who is right for you and the other is that you may rebel and purposely go out with someone who is not right for you just to spite all the naysayers.

I was able to see through all the babble and make the right decision! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TOM!!

MY MAN

Here he is, my man!

FRONT VIEW

Notice the cute safety glasses and the revealing shorts...

SIDE VIEW

Notice the shirt that matches his oh so worn shorts!

BACK VIEW

Buns of steel from all that ladder climbing!

GRADUATION PARTIES

I just dropped Thomas off for his field trip to Gettysburg, PA. While I was there I was chatting with another mother. She told me that her son was invited to about ten eighth grade graduation parties. She said that most of them involved drinking or drugs so her son is not going. Thomas has been invited to one graduation party and I am sure that there won't be any drinking or drugging. As I looked at my son sitting on the bus, Rubik's Cube in hand, I wondered how his teenage years could be so different than many of his peers. He was not invited to those other parties where bad things would be happening. I don't even think he's aware that they are going on. He is so busy with his hobbies and activities that he wouldn't have time to even consider these things. I know my kids well and I know that they see their future. They know what needs to be done to get there. They don't want to mess it up.

It makes me wonder how prevalent these issues are. I know so many kids that are not doing these things. I am not naive but it still makes me amazed that there are two worlds inside the middle school. I am thankful for the world that my kids are in.

SCHOOL'S OUT!!

Just an update on Thomas's "prestigious" award. I think the prestigious one, was an academic achievement award given by President Bush to any student with certain grades. He also received the Science award and Math award for being the best student, I guess. His math average is 101.2% (from getting bonus questions right as well as almost every question he was ever asked on a test). He also received his Math Counts award. He also has the highest GPA of all the eighth graders. So he's Mr. Smarty Pants. Blah, blah, blah! My neighbor tells me I SHOULD brag more about my kids but what's more annoying than a bragging mom?!?! He does appreciate being smart but I think he was more happy that the pond he made has attracted a frog and a salamander than getting all those awards. The eighth grade graduation "present" that he appreciated the most was having me spend time sifting the dirt in his garden. Its a dirty job but someone had to do it! Ha Ha! We also gave him the money to buy a pump for his pond so he can have a waterfall. Now all the frogs will have a place to splash around. Congratulations Thomas - now on to high school.

Of course Erin and Sarah have done well this year but they are not at one of those milestone years. They are just happy for school to be done! Erin has one more year in the middle school and Sarah one more year in the elementary school. This all just makes me realize how fast time goes by!

We are savoring this time of the summer. When you have days and days left to relax and have fun. We have all our vacations still to come. A trip to NH, time spent at the shore, a trip to Knoebel's Amusement park and plenty of time enjoying our home here in the Poconos.

THE BESTEST WEEKEND EVER

I'm a little late in posting about it, but I just wanted to say that we had the bestest Memorial Day weekend ever! We started our friday night with a big bonfire! We had been trying to have one for awhile but the weather just wasn't cooperating! Thomas happily burned up his old go cart and his wooden windmill. He built both from his own designs but has moved on to bigger and better projects. He turned wood gathering into a major workout. He ran through the woods collecting large and small branches, cutting them up and then adding them to the fire to keep it roaring! The picture above is the "grand finale" when he dumped in my cornstalks from last fall.

We continued the festivities by setting up the tent. Erin, Sarah and I slept out not one night but two! Other than a lot of very verbal crows in the morning we slept like logs. We were sure not to eat anything in the tent so one of the four bears wandering the neighborhood wouldn't show up for a snack! The bears didn't scare us but the ghost stories that Erin got off the internet sure did! Well, they didn't really scare me but it was fun telling them anyway!

Saturday evening was our first BBQ of hamburgers and hotdogs. Sunday was a perfectly done steak. By monday, I had to follow my supper time announcement with "and you'll like it". More hamburgers and hotdogs on the grill! My kids like variety so were almost sick of BBQ food. I say almost because I didn't allow them to vent their disapproval, so as far as I am concerned, they LOVED it!

We filled our days with yard work, home improvement and just for fun, a little relaxation!

It was a taste of the summer days to come!

PRESTIGIOUS AWARD

I just got a phone call from Thomas's guidance counselor to inform me that "Tom will be receiving a prestigious award at the ceremony on June 8th". She hopes we will be there. PRESTIGIOUS! I will be there. I hate awards, but I will be there. It may be the math counts award he should get but I guess it could be something else...something even MORE prestigious! I know I should just be proud and shut up but I can't.

I am proud of my kids but some how awards just seem to promote an eagerness for other people to give you their approval. Yes, here is an award because we like you and you have done just what we want you to do. How many times have I fallen in the trap of trying to get people to like me. It seems when I try to get someone to like me I fail and end up miserable.

It seems as if, depending on the year, one or another of my kids will be a favorite. Up until fourth grade Erin was almost always picked as Citizen of the Year. Sarah has received quite a few of those herself. Thomas who is currently receiving this "prestigious award" was never picked as Citizen of the Year. Does this mean he is less of a good student/citizen? Apparently since being in Middle School he has become a better student since he has always gotten a Student of the Month award. Last year Thomas and Erin were both picked as Student of the Month in September - quite an "honor" since there are only 10 months in the school year. This year Thomas was once again picked early on and Erin never got picked to be Student of the Month at all. Does this mean that her status as a student has dropped dramatically in the past year? Usually Sarah gets a Student of the Month award during the first half of the year. This is the first year that Sarah has not received a Student of the Month award. So you see, round and round we go. No rhyme or reason. Just a matter of rubbing someone the wrong way or the right way. Underlying it all is that sense of "why doesn't this teacher like me?" or "Yeah, she/he likes me!"

Worse of all, I'm expected to go to the ceremonies, puffed up with pride. How annoying to the other parents who are more than likely thinking "Oh that Elise, she thinks her kids are so great". My family life is a very personal experience for me. I am proud of my kids but I don't need other people to recognize their goodness for me to feel that pride. I conduct my personal life the way I do regardless of what other people think - good or bad.

Its inevitable this time of the year that I have to spend at least a little bit of time whining about awards. I hope from all my whining, my children will learn something. Awards are not important. Being a good person. Being a happy person. Having a full life. Making the most of the gifts you were born with. Learning to make good decisions that will give you all of these things. These are the things that are important. Awards are the way that other people give you their approval. This is fine when people approve of you but what will you do when they don't approve of you? Will you be able to recognize your own talents? Will you still be happy with yourself?

When Thomas was in sixth grade his science teacher told me that Thomas was the best student he's ever had in his entire teaching history. What made his comment memorable to me was the fact that he told me that although Thomas was super smart, he was still just a regular kid. He fit right in with all the other kids and always had a smile on his face. That's what made me happy. The fact that this teacher took the time to tell me this means so much more to me than watching Thomas receive a "prestigious award".

WHO'S EATING ALL THE FOOD IN THE HOUSE

After taking a closer look at the pictures I posted of my children, I realized that they are looking quite skinny. Bones sticking out everywhere! It occurred to me that maybe I should be eating a little bit less of the food in the house and leave some for them!