I MEANT TO SAY

Okay, so sometimes I just babble. I understand that this is a public blog but a lot of times I don't think about that when I'm writing. I guess that's because so few people read it. I write for myself sometimes and other times it is for my family. I'm the kind of person who feels better when I write about my thoughts. My last post was a shorthand version of things I've been thinking about and I only posted it as a string around my finger to remind myself of those things. I've posted about judging in the past and I'm still thinking about it but I guess at the time I didn't want to have a whole huge post on it.

So, what I meant in that post....

In the past couple of years I have thought a lot about how people seem to spend a lot of time judging other people. Everyone does it, including me. I am on a quest to reduce the amount of judging that I do. I highly doubt that I am a good enough person to completely stop judging others. I'm trying to accept that people are imperfect but sometimes its hard. Its also hard to have an opinion without coming off as judgemental. That's a tough one but I think opinions can be valuable.

I've also noticed that because everyone feels insecure about their own imperfections they can tend to be overly sensitive to comments I might make. For example I know someone that has an adult son who lived at home with her for longer than usual (because of issues that he had that she had no control over). One time I was talking about how my goal is to try to make my kids independent enough that they will move out on their own when they become adults. None of my kids have the same issues as hers does. At the time, what was going through my head was how deep down inside I would love my kids to be with me forever and I need to overcome that desire and push them to be independent instead. I was not thinking about her situation with her son at all because in my head it was a totally different issue. As you can imagine, she was sensitive to this and she thought I was making an insult to her. She carried this grudge inside of her for at least a year before she let it out in an angry way. I was shocked to think that she assumed I had nasty intentions. I felt absolutely terrible that she had felt so bad. I took her unhappiness on as my responsibility. Eventually, I realized that it was her struggle not mine. I need to realize that even when my intentions are innocent that some people will take things the wrong way. This may sound obvious, but for me its big because I am always concerned with not hurting others with my words.

Lastly, I also have been telling myself that I'm sensitive about certain things and not everyone is trying to negatively judge me. Just like the person I talked about previously, its possible that I overreact in certain situations.