MY YEAR IN REVIEW


CHAPTER 1

I started the year on a new medication that was supposed to get rid of my migraines. I had started to get a lot the previous October. It seemed to be helping until February when I had a really bad spell. Let's just say that they call it "migraine disease" because its not just a headache. Lucky Tom, he was home recovering from his shoulder surgery during my worse week where I got a migraine 6 out of 7 days and I was in bed with a brain that was barely functioning...somewhat scary for me since my vision was not working properly. He took care of the kids, he managed to drive them to school and back. Anyway, Tom's surgery was to remove a calcium deposit that had built up and was limiting the movement in his arm so he couldn't raise it over his head. It was causing quite a bit of pain and had gotten to the point that it was interrupting his sleep. The surgeon who removed it did a very good job. So good in fact that he had told us that he hadn't gotten all of the deposit but when I asked him to show me the remainder on the xray at Tom's follow-up visit he just said "hmmm, good question I must have done better than I thought!" Tom has another less painful deposit in the other shoulder...someday.

So eventually when my brain cleared enough to think a little I decided to change doctors. I researched and decided on one that had excellent reviews in Philadelphia (also an office in NJ). I went to him at the beginning of June. He discovered I had an iron deficiency and I've been on iron ever since. Also changed my thyroid medication. Just to finish up about me, me, me....I went to the Jefferson Headache Center in Philadelphia at the end of September and am now on an anti seizure med (no, I don't get seizures but it helps with migraines). I also just started on Magnesium which is supposed to help. I can honestly say that I feel much better than in February but I am still very far from being 100%. My plan for the new year is to hope my health gets better and better and I can begin to get back into shape. Thomas and I walked 2.5 miles yesterday (using the new Christmas handheld GPS we got the family for Christmas) and I didn't get a migraine. Small steps. It'd be nice to lose the extra 15-20 lbs I've gained since becoming unhealthy, heck, I'd be nice to lose the extra 15 pounds I gained from being pregnant with Sarah (now 12 years old) but I'm going to focus more on feeling better. This all started in 2006 and this spring it will be three years that I've been struggling with this, enough already.


CHAPTER 2

So on to happy stuff. In January before I went down hill Erin and I were sitting around and we got an idea! ROAD TRIP! We both had always wanted to go to Dollywood, it must have been that special we had seen on TV. So I began to plan out a trip for June as soon as the kids were out of school. On the way down we went on the Cape May ferry. It was fun to have our van on a boat! The Chesapeake Bay bridge and tunnel was pretty neat too. We stopped first in New Port News, VA. We went to Busch Gardens as well as Colonial Williamsburg. It was fun but hot as heck and I was wondering how we would make it in Tennessee! It turned out it must have been a bit of a heat wave because the rest of the trip was fine.

Next on to Everett's house in Georgia to see all our southern redneck relatives. Just joking, they were all quite sophisticated. It turned out to be the perfect stop for us. At this point in the trip I think we all needed to stay in a real house for a couple of nights. The kids all felt like they were at a resort! Everett's master bath is as big as one of our bedrooms! Erin's getting ideas for her future home....she better stick with school and become a really great biologist! The first thing we did was to go to Everett's community pool. After driving all day it was nice to float around and relax. Back at Everett's house the kids decided to shoot some pool while taking "breaks" to exercise on all of Everett and Denise's equipment. No wonder Everett and Denise are looking so great AND no wonder my kids are so skinny! We all enjoyed the great variety of drinks that they had...sort of like those wet bars in the hotel rooms. The next day we went to the zoo with Everett, (unfortunately Denise had to work). Although Sarah had somewhat of a melt down I had a really great time! Lets just say, when Sarah has had too much excitement the beast from within surfaces but we still love her! Its a shame since she is the one who likes animals the most. The zoo is where I took our Christmas picture in that really neat stand of bamboo.

We had wanted to go to the Japanese restaurant while we were there because we knew that the kids would love it. It met all our expectations and more. I wasn't sure if Erin would like the food because she doesn't really like Chinese food. I've realized that Japanese food is much less greasy and the flavoring is not so overpowering as Chinese food. As a weird coincidence, it was me and Tom's anniversary so we were treated to some sort of umbrella ceremony. The restaurant sent us home with a picture of us and the family and a special set of chopsticks. Everett and Denise treated us to dinner...thanks again guys.

We had a great time at Everetts but on to Tennessee! We made a short trek to Lookout Mountain. We rode the very steep and scary inclined railroad and the entire time discussed what would happen if the cable broke. We did manage some nervous glances at the view. We spent more time looking once we reached the top. We also went to Rock City and walked through and were quite impressed with all the interesting places. I've always enjoyed walking and hiking and it was just enough to be fun but not poop me out. Sarah wouldn't go on the rope bridge and Erin was a little weak in the knees as she crossed but Thomas wanted to bounce up and down. Some yelling ensued and he calmed down. Ha ha. I think my favorite attraction was the Tennessee Aquarium. It has two buildings one for ocean fish and one for fresh water fish. It had some really unusual exhibits. For example the jelly fish. You were in a darkened area with the jelly fish tanks lit up to make them look even neater. The IMAX theater has stadium seating and had a really neat show. Sarah was out of her funk and had a great time.

On to Dollywood. I think that by the time we got there we were all vacationed out. I think we would have enjoyed ourselves more if it had been at the beginning of our trip. I had booked the best hotel room here and it had a kitchen, balcony and a lot of room. They had an indoor and outdoor pool, a small lazy river, two hot tubs and a kiddy pool. It was situated by a small brook were ducks hung out and small rabbits were frolicking. The free breakfast was the best. Needless to say we mostly wanted to spend our time here relaxing. Fortunately we had allowed for one day of doing nothing. We went to Dixie Stampede one night (a dinner show like Medieval Times).

Our final stop was Monticello in Virginia and then finally home.


CHAPTER 3

We were pretty low key the rest of the summer just going to the beach house and spending time there with Maureen (Tom's sister) and her family when she rented her own bungalow. The kids start school the last Monday of August and we needed to get sports physicals for them to run cross country. Erin started high school (9th grade) with some ambivalence but it has turned out that she is quite happy. She is still playing violin and is doing great. She had problems with her legs so spent much of the cross country season not running. Sarah started middle school (6th grade) with ME having some ambivalence but she is doing great. She's quite smart and if she could just stop worrying then she would realize this! She's still playing viola and is on the math team - quite an accomplishment for a 6th grader. Thomas is in 10th grade....he's just happy being with his geeky friends who like calculators and computer programming as much as him!


CONCLUSION

I finished up 2008 in the mad dash to buy all the Christmas presents and make the kids the traditional Christmas Eve pajamas. Erin has a giraffe pattern, her favorite animal. Sarah wanted cows and she got them and Thomas looks like he has animal tracks all over him... its a nice blue though.

I'm hoping for a great 2009! I wish you all peace, happiness and good health!

MIGRAINE NEWS

On September 30th I went on an anti seizure medication to try and control my migraines. I did not have any migraines in the month of October. In November I had three. Every time I get another migraine I get a depressed sort of feeling. I had a lot of hope for this new medicine. The first two migraines came close together and I thought maybe it was a fluke. Then I got that third one.

Even with these migraines I feel that there are a lot of good things about this medicine. As soon as I went on it I started to feel different. My brain seemed to be working better. The only time my brain hasn't been working better was during the days following my three migraines. A lot of my other weird symptoms have gotten quite a bit better. Again, they seemed to only flare up during my migraine episodes.

I go back to see the neurologist in the middle of December. I want to be migraine free but at this point I am not sure if that is possible. I'm also a little scared that if I switch medications my brain will stop being okay. I can't explain to you how frustrating it was to lose that mental function. Its as if I went to from being a relatively smart person to a relatively stupid person. I have never been able to explain this fully to anyone. The only people who truly understand are my husband and my three kids. They witnessed it first hand. They understand what I mean when I say I was out of it. I tried to explain this to the neurologist when I saw him but I don't think he got it. I will try to explain it to him again because I think it is so important, since this medicine has made such a difference.

I think I've gotten pretty much all of my brain back - except for those migraine moments or when I am tired. Now that I've gotten it back I realize how much I was missing. I've recently started reading a Stephen King novel and realized that I hadn't been reading adult books anymore. Last year I started to read the same books that my 8th grade daughter was reading. Although I could follow the adult books, it was just too exhausting and it sucked all the fun out of it. Another thing that I've started doing again is learning to play the keyboard. Last year I had started to teach myself how to play. I have always wanted to learn to play piano and the keyboard is the next best thing. I don't know quite when I stopped but things like that had just fallen by the wayside. I just didn't have the mental ability or energy to do them anymore. I am still lacking in the energy department but have enough to do nonphysical things like playing the keyboard. The bit of physical energy that has returned is generally used up on housework. I'm okay with that, its nice to have my house somewhat organized.

If I look at things in terms of the last 10 months I see a big difference in my health. I think that I have been slowly getting better with occasional setbacks. I am leery of saying that I am truly getting better because it seems that the bad spells that I have come out of nowhere. I can't rule out the possibility that tomorrow I will suddenly have a terrible month that leaves me in bed for days at a time with my brain spinning with chaos. Sounds oh so dramatic but that is what happened to me in February/March. I try to stay positive but its been difficult. Its awful living this way, not knowing when these episodes will strike. Its awful wondering if this is what my life will always be like. Is this something that I will have to accept as the norm for me?

I usually try to end my posts with a sentence that wraps everything up into some sort of conclusion. It seems that this time I can't really do that. My migraine news seems sort of open ended so this is how I will leave it.

KNOW IT ALLS

I've recently come to the conclusion that I may have a tendency to become friends with Know It Alls. I realized this after I was noting the similarities between a couple of my friends. I was thinking that they both love to tell me what to do. They both think they are more knowledgeable than they actually are. They both think they are more physically adept than they are. Then I started to see that many people in my life are this way. I was wondering if the world is populated with a bunch of Know It Alls or if they just seem to flock to me.

Mostly I just brush all of this advice and banter off but on some level I find it annoying. I try to tell myself that they are doing it because they care about me but another part of me feels that they think I'm some sort of loser who needs to be guided in the right direction. Its not that I think that I'm a loser but its annoying that they might think I'm a loser. It's quite possible that because I am a good listener who doesn't want to hurt people's feelings they feel comfortable letting loose on me.

I'm sure that this kind of talk makes them feel good. I dare say that just maybe they don't really feel good about themselves. They can reduce their insecurities by constantly letting others know just how smart, strong, wonderful they really are.

In reality, we all know that I'm much better than every one of them!

CRAZY NEIGHBOR

I think I have a crazy neighbor.

I have an older Golden Retriever, Beau, that I used to walk off leash on the dirt road by my house. On the rare occasions that a car came by I would call him to me until the car passed by. As he's gotten older his hearing has deteriorated and he has trouble hearing me calling him. Mostly I don't walk him on the road anymore and instead I've made a path on my 5 acres of land and walk him there.

Yesterday I was walking him on the path with my daughter Sarah. As I walked him (on our own land) by a neighbor's house, their dog that was inside started barking (a Jack Russel terrier). Eventually the woman came out of her house, I assumed, to see what the dog was barking at. When she saw us she folded her arms acrossed her chest and began staring at us. She continued to do this. I could tell she was angry and I figured maybe she didn't know that I was on my own land. Although they moved in a couple of years ago, I do not know her and have never introduced myself her. I decided that we should have a little chat so I could explain myself. I looked at her and yelled "hello!" She continued to stare. I thought, well maybe she didn't hear me or doesn't know that I'm talking to her. I yelled again and waved. She said nothing and continued to give me the evil eye. I looked a moment longer, then looked at Sarah who thought the whole situation was as weird as I thought and finally we just walked off.

Weird, weird, weird....this is a crazy situation. I began getting opinions on what I should do. I don't want to be walking in my own backyard and have this lady staring at me. A friend told me that I gave her a chance and now I should act as if she doesn't exist. Tom told me that he would have walked right up to her and said "hi, my name is Tom." My daughter Erin told me that if she did it again, she'd stare her down. Sarah agreed with Erin. Thomas as usual was no help - ha ha. I think I am going to combine a couple ideas and if she does this again I will stare right back. If she says something to me I will pretend she doesn't exist. I will give her a taste of her own medicine. I don't want to be friends, I just want her to stop.

Another reason I don't want to befriend her is that a small part of me wonders just how psycho she is. If I had a neighbor that I knew and they got mad at me for any reason and then stared me down, I'd think that was relatively normal. Not nice, but normal. Since I do not know this lady at all, it's just plain weird. That's another weird thing. She lives on the road that I have been walking my dog on and I've met every other person on that road and waved and even chatted with them. I don't even really know what these people look like...after two years! I've even "met" their dog who one time got loose and came running after Beau.

In my more paranoid moments I wonder if she would ever do something to my cats. About a month ago all three of my cats were suddenly not very hungry. This is a big deal because they are all very piggy. I started thinking that someone in the neighborhood possibly was feeding them. Then one of them became quite ill and was throwing up and had really bad diarrhea. I started to wonder what they had found and what they were eating. I can remember briefly giving thought to the fact that maybe we have a cat hater in the neighborhood, feeding them god knows what. It was only a passing thought because in general I am not a paranoid person. I began to wonder about this lady when on that same day I saw one of my cats heading home coming from the direction of her house.

Well there's not much I can do about any of this and have no desire for an all out war with any neighbors. So, I will just see what develops and go with what feels right at the time.

LEARNING WHO TO TRUST

Have you ever had a friend that spends a lot of time complaining about other people in their life? I do, I have a friend that is constantly putting down her other friends as well as her close relatives. She claims that she really likes/loves these people but I am surprised at how negative she can be. I often wonder why she is even friends with these people if she thinks such bad things about them. I realize that everyone can sometimes complain about their friends - like I am right now. However, this goes beyond the usual whining.

The funny thing is, that it has finally dawned on me that since she considers me a close friend, chances are she is complaining about me to these other people! I had never really thought about it until recently when I talked to her adult daughter. The conversation didn't go well. For no apparent reason the daughter was very annoyed with me - to the point that she raised her voice at me. It was a short conversation and I had not given her any reason to be so upset. We rarely have a chance to speak to each other so I can't imagine it was something I had previously said. It was quite strange until I realized that her negativity probably stemmed from some private discussions her and her mother had about me. She probably came into the conversation with some preconceived perceptions. The only other reason I can think is that she is such a stressed out individual that she is constantly on the verge of yelling at everyone.

The question that I ask myself is why would I be so stupid to think that her mother isn't trashing me like she does all her other "friends? One might say that I shouldn't assume that she is doing this. But how can I think otherwise? How could I believe that I could be the only person in her life that she doesn't talk so negatively about?

It bothers me that she does this because I do consider her a close friend. I am not one to open up to people who are not supportive to me. It's a bummer because now I have to censor our friendship. Some people would be able to accept that is the way she is and not worry about it. I am not like that, I do not want to think that she is taking what I confide to her and twisting it around into something negative. I will not end our friendship but unfortunately, our friendship has now become more shallow.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

SHE CAN FLY!!

LIFE IN THE POCONOS!

SARAH CARVING HER PUMPKIN ON SUNDAY

SARAH BUILDING A SNOWMAN ON TUESDAY!

PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION....DON'T GET ME STARTED!

I am a registered independent because I have the personality that says NO ONE IS GOING TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO! However, I definitely lean towards the left. After all, I am left handed! I have not always been this way. When I first started out as an adult I was more conservative, I still am conservative in a lot of ways but definitely not in the political arena. I made the switch after I realized that the Republican definition of conservative was a lot different than my definition of conservative. I am very careful with my money. I stay away from debt, paying off my credit card every month. If I don't have the money I don't buy it. I tend to buy a basic car that is very reliable. I don't live my life in a wild reckless way. I am not a thrill seeker. I figured that people who thought like me would be good at running the country. I thought the Republicans were conservative. I was wrong. I started paying attention to actions instead of words. I'm almost ashamed to admit that I voted for Bush number two the first time around. One of the reasons I voted for him was that I felt that we did not need to send our soldiers to other countries as much. We have problems right here that our resources should be spent on. He promised that he would keep our troops home....then he decided to conquer another country. Weapons of mass destruction, blah, blah, blah! Don't you remember, that was the original reason for the war or has everyone now been convinced that the war is protecting us from another 9/11 attack? NOT! I was totally against the war from day one. I knew it was a war that would turn out to be a mess and one that we could not win, why didn't Bush know that? Because he is an idiot.

Besides the Iraq fiasco, whatever happened to our balanced budget? Those crazy Democrats that just like to spend and tax managed to balance the budget and the "conservative" republicans managed to get us into more debt than ever. The last time I heard of this much spending Reagan was in office. Bush would blame it on this stupid war, but I am sure that even without the war he would have spent, spent, spent. How can we expect the average person to be financially responsible when our leadership isn't? I blame this economic downturn on the poor example that the Republicans have given us. Unfortunately, we may need these hardships to show us our folly.

I am not naive, I realize that all politicians lie. Its just that I think the Republican lies are worse for our country than the Democrats. The Republicans lie thinking about how they can benefit themselves. The Democrats lie in a way that is exaggerating what they can give us. (I'm cynical, aren't I) Sometimes McCain sounds like he really does love his country and wants to do great things but I've believed Republicans in the past and was burned. Because of this, I feel that I will never be able to vote for a Republican again no matter how good they sound.

The worse part about this election are the falsehoods perpetuated by the Republicans. I find it very sad when my kids come home and tell me the untruths that the other kids believe (high schoolers). They believe that Obama is a Muslim even though he is a Christian. I can understand why at this time in our country people would not be accepting of a Muslim president but why does being a Christian make him better anyways? Don't we have a separation of church and state? Just to be clear, I do know that Obama is a Christian!! I had to write that just in case some idiot happens along this post and is not clear on that! They believe that Obama thinks that if a partial birth abortion is botched then the mother should be able to kill the baby! I am not joking, this is something one kid told my son! I live in a Republican area of a usually Democratic state. It makes me sad to think that chances are these kids are getting their ideas from their parents. I think that most of these people have gotten their information from attack ads. Its hard for me to believe that most of these people have watched any of the debates where Obama refuted all these charges. If you don't want to vote for Obama, fine, but please get your facts straight. I tell my husband, if it sounds crazy it probably is. Why would a terrorist Muslim even bother to run for president? Why would the Democrats have a Muslim terrorist for their candidate? THEY WOULDN'T, ITS ABSURD!!

SUPERSTITIONS

Generally, I'm not a superstitious person but I have one superstition that seems to have stuck in my brain. When I was a child I heard that if you kill a spider it will make it rain. Ever since then, I have been especially kind to arachnids. Being careful not to step on them. Scooping them up in paper towels to shuttle them outside if necessary. Sometimes even leaving spider webs in the corners so I wouldn't disturb them. All so I wouldn't be responsible for a rainstorm. Occasionally I have found it necessary to dispose of a spider in a not so humane way. If its extra big and I'm not close to a door I've been known to squish it rather than save it. On those days I tend to glance often at the sky awaiting the inevitable downpour.

I can't say for sure if killing a spider has any effect on the weather but I do know that today it sure seemed that way. This morning I opened the back door to let my cat out into the sunshine. A medium sized spider came rushing in as if the warmth of the house was where it wanted to spend its winter. I narrowed my two eyes and gave it a stare, it froze and looked up at me with it's eight eyes. I said to myself, "bah, I'm a silly superstitious fool!" I then quickly grabbed a paper towel and threw it down on the unsuspecting spider. No shuttling today, even with the door only a foot away. I crushed down on the helpless spider and only felt a slight resistance. I felt mean. I had an unsettled feeling that I had done something wrong, something really wrong. A couple hours later the clouds rolled in. Not long after that the raindrops came down. I hope it doesn't last into tomorrow when my son's cross country team has their final race.

I've learned my lesson and I'll probably go back to my peace loving ways. This admission should count for something. Will the spider loving gods let the sun come out?

WHAT ELSE WOULD A LEAF BLOWER BE FOR?

We've never owned a leaf blower before. Thomas loves it. Not only did he blow the leaves into a big pile but he had some fun using it to shoot a foam ball up in the air. He got some left over pvc drain pipe, lined it up with the end of the leaf blower, inserted the ball and away it flew. He was shooting it straight up into the air and I decided I was going to try to catch it when it came back down. My dog Beau decided he needed to run right in front of me just when I was looking up and running to get the ball. Down I went and if Beau wasn't such a big dog he would have went splat! I knocked him over and landed quite hard on his chest. Hard enough to make him bark/squawk! He got up and before we knew it he was following me around and getting in my way once again! Eventually, I did catch that ball! Oh yeah, I wasn't hurt in the fall either!

Note Thomas's ear protection. He will grow up with perfect hearing because he uses those ear muffs for everything!

ARE WE HEADED FOR A DEPRESSION?

I know most people do not give a hoot about the stock market but with the market dropping so drastically it makes me sit back and wonder. How much further will it drop? Are we headed for another depression? I see the news that tells me that people are losing their jobs, people are losing their houses and bankruptcies abound. How will all this affect me? If more and more people lose their jobs, will my husband lose his usually secure government job?

My husband and I have always lived in a financially conservative way. Our decisions were always based on many "what ifs". What if one or both of us lost our jobs? What if the economy goes bad? What if one of us got sick?

Before we had kids, we bought our house using only my husband's salary making sure the payment was only based on what he earned. We bought a simple house with 5 acres. Then I worked for the next six years and we pretty much put my salary towards paying extra on our house. When we were done paying for it, we didn't start living high on the hog. We knew that when we had kids I wanted to stay home so we didn't want to depend on my income.

When it came to deciding where to put our 401K money we decided to put it in the most conservative funds, government securities. We figured this was our retirement and we didn't want to risk it in the stock market even though that would mean that we would get less interest.

We've learned to keep our decisions mostly to ourselves because over the years plenty of people have tried to tell us what to do. Much of this advice was started with the words "you must". We were told that paying off your house early was a bad idea because then you wouldn't have any mortgage interest to itemize on your taxes. We were told that we should spread out our 401K money in a bunch of different funds. We were told that we could afford to spend much more on our house. Many times we were called cheap....well, because we are cheap! AND proud of it!

Right now as I wonder whether we are going to have another depression, I feel pretty good about my decisions. My youngest daughter asked "are you worried mom?" I could honestly say "no"." The only thing I have to do is pay the taxes on my house and I will have a place to stay. I've never succumb to the temptation to be materialistic. I am a person who can use the same old things until they are truly worn out. No, I am not really worried. However, I do wonder what will happen with other people.

Recently my husband was talking to a colleague at work about retirement. My husband told this man his plan and told him of his philosophy of being careful to only invest in government securities and not the stock market. My husband was not trying to convince this man to change his ways but apparently his ideas must have sounded pretty good. Without telling my husband the man went and changed his 401K to have it invested in government securities. Right after he did this, the stock market began to drop. He came to my husband and said "you've already saved me $10,000!" This man is getting closer to retirement and it makes me feel good that he won't have his savings demolished.

I think that maybe our country is due for a readjustment. We've become spoiled. It would be painful but maybe people need to learn to go without. I just hope that means that people would go without a computer and cable TV. I would not want to see people go without food. I would not want to see people be homeless. It would make me very sad to see people hurting in this way. Even though we've all gotten soft, I think that the people of this country are strong enough to weather this storm.

ART AND MUSIC

The following is a letter that I wrote and plan to send to the editor of the local newspaper. I took out names because this is the big, bad, scarey internet. Anyhoo, I have been meaning to write a letter such as this for many years. I have a fear that our school district will start cutting programs that they consider "optional". We really do have amazing teachers who put in amazing amounts of efforts. They are almost too good to be true! In our house, learning a musical instrument is required. That may sound mean but I truly believe that music, as well as art, are subjects that are just as necessary as math, science and english. Some day all my kids will thank me for making them learn to play an instrument. Sarah plays the viola in the school orchestra, Erin plays violin in the orchestra and Thomas self taught himself to play the organ and keyboard at home. The art and music programs in school are so valuable because not all parents are as mean as me and school may be the only place that they experience these things.


To the Editor,

I would like to show my support for art and music in our schools because it is my belief that having good programs in school is mandatory, not just a luxury. My children's experience in the DD schools has been nothing but superb. It starts with Mr. B and Ms. E in the primary school. Mr. B is not just teaching these kids to sing nursery rhymes. If you ever attend one of his concerts you’ll be surprised at how great the kids sound. It’s not unusual for the kids to hear names like Chopin or Bach. Ms. E teaches about great artists like Van Gogh or Monet. These kids are not just fooling around with arts and crafts they are really producing art. She treats their work with respect and admiration.

In the elementary school Mrs. A taps their creative side and is constantly having an "art gallery showing" of beautiful pieces just outside the door of the art room. I’ve always loved to go into the building just to see what’s new. Art club is held after school for the artists in the school. Also in the elementary school Mr. K is not just getting the kids to sing, he’s teaching them about rhythm, melody and so much more. He’s teaching them to have the confidence to sing solo in front of the whole class. He has the opportunity of chorus and choir open to kids who want to sing more. I’ve heard both of these groups sing and I’m always amazed!

My girls started in the orchestra in third grade with Mrs. S. If you’ve ever listened to a third grade orchestra student you’d be impressed with the patience she must have. They start out plucking "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" in third grade and by the time they are through middle school they’ve learned to tune their own instrument by ear and mastered the talent of vibrato. So far this year I am impressed with Mr. S, conductor of the high school orchestra. The music he chooses is quite difficult, challenging the students and keeping them interested. I can’t wait for the first concert.

Also in the middle school, Mrs. S and Mrs. Y have some students that show so much talent that the school is decorated with framed pieces done by students over the years. Mrs. Y has an after school art club and Mrs. Sakoutis spends her after school time helping the students build the sets for the two plays that are performed.

These are the teachers that my children have had the privilege of having.I would like to personally thank them all.

All these teachers have many responsiblities that I haven’t even mentioned. I’m sure that there are many other art and music teachers in the DV school district that are just as outstanding. I would like to thank the school board for adopting a budget that allows for such great programs. I would encourage them to continue to make art and music a priority in our schools. To the taxpayers that do not have children in the school, I want to assure you that you are getting your money’s worth. I’ve seen first hand how much extra time and effort is required to deliver excellence!

PEOPLE TREAT YOU THE WAY YOU LET THEM

I have a vacation home at the New Jersey shore. It is in a community that is run by a community association. Its actually called a club. The club is run by a group of five trustees that we homeowners elect.

I've been having trouble with the road maintenance on the road in front of our house. To make a long story short, its a dirt road and in order to fix the huge pothole in front of my house they've continuously added dirt to fill it in. This along with natural erosion from up the street, has increased the level of the road in front of my house to the point that now my house is below the level of the road. As you can imagine, when it rains, the water rushes down the street looking for the lowest spot. My property along with other properties on the street are now the lowest point. Many of us are getting flooding into our homes. We've complained to the Board of Trustees only to be met with denial. We've been told that they've never added dirt to the street (should have taken a video). We've also been told really ridiculous things such as our houses are actually sinking.

Recently there was a club meeting at which we voted to elect a new board. Since so many people are having various problems with the current board, all but one of them were voted out. A portion of the meeting was open to comments from the community members. I stood in front of the two hundred plus people and made a statement regarding the road issues. I made it clear that I was speaking to the new board members since the old ones would never listen. After I made my statement a man came up to me and asked if I would step aside so he could speak to me. He seemed polite enough so I agreed. He then proceeded to try and convince me that my house was sinking. My first tactic was to tell him I knew that was not true. He continued. I then told him that I was an engineer and that I KNEW my house was not sinking. I told him that my husband is also an engineer and we BOTH KNOW our house is not sinking. Amazingly, he continued. My next tactic was to stop responding. I was thinking, when will this man give up? He continued, blah, blah, blah...

My old self would have just let him go on and on. My old self would have felt it was rude to cut him off. My old self would have gotten more and more irritated and would have felt bad later that I hadn't stopped him. My old self has given way to my new self. My new self then said to him "I can't talk to you anymore, its too annoying." He was pulled up short and finally he stopped. I had suddenly realized that I did not have to listen to him. I could tell him to go away. I was not rude, he was. He left and I patted myself on the back. I really like this new self!

INTERESTING

I find it so funny that after reviewing my last few posts it seems to be a roller coaster of ups and downs. I would write a post saying I was not feeling well then I would write a post that I was feeling better! Peppered in between was problems my kids were having! I hope my latest post saying that I have renewed hope and think I am feeling better is not just one of my ups only to be followed by a down!!! Wish me luck!!

An interesting point: in the past I've found people who go on and on about their medical problems a bit annoying. I'VE TURNED INTO THAT PERSON!!! EEEEK!!

SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED

So much has happened since the last time I have posted. The people who read my blog before were a very small group and I'm sure now those few have even stopped coming - including my husband. He was my number one fan but I doubt that he stops by anymore. He knows I have been feeling so lousy that I don't have the energy to post.

Well, so much has happened since I posted in April. I went to a new endocrinologist at the beginning of June. He discovered that I had low iron and put me on Slow Fe. It has taken a long time, however, slowly but surely it has seemed to help at least with some of my symptoms. I no longer huff and puff from just normal everyday activity. I would still say that I have some symptoms of low iron although I am sure that my lab numbers will show that I am well within range. I've decided that for me, I am going to not go by my lab numbers but just by how I am feeling. I am not worried about having too much iron because I am no where near the upper end of normal.

At the end of August I came down with Shingles! Talk about kicking someone when they are down! The worst of it was over in 4 weeks but I still have some slight itching and some numbness on my back where the rash was. For me the pain was not agonizing but really maddening. I had the pain first and then it was replaced by itching. For about a week or so I had both pain and itching and could not even slightly scratch it because it hurt so much even to rub my fingers over it. The doctor that diagnosed it recommended that I get a complete physical because shingles is usually seen in the elderly or people with compromised immune systems. I felt she was insinuating that I could have cancer when she recommended a mammogram. I figured it would be a good idea to get a physical and went to see an internist (not the same doctor). He listened to my long drawn out story of fatigue, migraines, under active thyroid, shingles, etc and seemed to be undecided whether I was crazy or I actually had something wrong with me. In the end he ran a bunch of tests just to be sure. I am still waiting for those results. If everything comes back negative he can jump onto the bandwagon that says I'm crazy.

During all of this I was still getting many migraines so I decided to keep my appointment that I had at the Jefferson Headache Center in Philadelphia. My visit there on September 30th went well. I had to take a personality test (370 questions) as well as speak to a psychologist to actually see if I am crazy! In reality, they are just seeing how stress may play a role in your headaches. They made sure I realized that they weren't saying that stress is causing my headaches but they were trying to see if the headaches may be exacerbated by stress. In the end the psychologist was actually impressed that I was so emotionally sound considering my not so lovely childhood. She gave me a card in case I want to try acupuncture and a book mark that says "Falun Dafa" on it. Its an ancient spiritual practice. I guess just using this book mark is supposed to relieve any stress I may experience. Hmmm.

My time with the nurse and neurologist was much more fruitful. I came away with a couple of new medications to take. He gave me something to replace the Imitrex I take when I actually get a migraine. Its Imitrex plus Aleve. More importantly, he gave me a prescription for an anti seizure medication that will hopefully prevent my migraines. Its called Lamictal and works to balance the neurotransmitters in the brain. Migraines have to do with the neurotransmitters firing out of control in the brain so it makes sense to try this medicine. He says that this particular medicine seems to be especially effective in migraines with aura. Since I always get the aura and sometimes I only get the aura without the headache, it should work well. Hopefully. If not there is always the book mark!

I try this medication for two and a half months and go back to see him. If it seems to be working, I will then stay on it for eight months. If it controls the headaches for that long I will then be weaned off from it. I can not take a full dose right away but will take a month to build up to the full dose. He said something about how this will help to avoid some sort of lethal rash you can get as a dangerous side effect...hee hee. Seriously, the rash thing is real but I really doubt I will have that problem. After all, I'm an optimist! So far I have been on the lowest dose for one week. My initial reaction is that it may already be helping a little bit. One week is too early to tell how much it may help me but I am hopeful for the first time in months.

I realize that this blog may not really explain all I've been through in the past two years regarding my health. I'm sure it doesn't portray how much I have lost of myself. I have become the sick person and I don't like that. I wish I was my old self but at this point I still feel far away from the old Elise. I know that in the past few months I have learned to ignore many of my problems and continue living my life. Because of this I'm not sure if the medicines are helping or if its just a case of mind over matter.

One of my hopes is that I can start to post a bit more here without always talking about my poor health. The best way to do that would be to start feeling more healthy! Well, if that is not possible then I would still like to find something more positive to write about. Regardless of audience size, I like to write about my everyday happenings.

FEELING BETTER.....I HOPE

My first migraine of this last bunch of migraines was on February 21, 2008. It was followed by five more migraines early in march for a total of six migraines, ending with the last two on March 12, 2008. During the entire time of getting and recovering from the migraines I have a major brain fog. The migraines were followed by over a week of dizzy spells. This was followed by a period of just feeling out of it. I really didn't start to feel significantly better until late last week. I still have moments where I feel odd as if I may get another migraine at any moment. So five weeks of my life gone. Right now I am able to pretty much function but I am pampering myself a bit in order to make sure the migraines don't return.

I have been reading a lot about migraines and have confirmed the connection that I suspected between my under active thyroid and the migraines. It gives me hope that once I FINALLY have my thyroid under control I will not get all these crazy migraines!

A side note, Sarah's numb feet (while running in gym) are a bit better but it's still happening.

UPDATE MAY 29,2008:

I ended up having 10 migraines in April. Eight of those were in one six day period. That was the week that I decided to stop taking my cabergoline. My last two migraines were on April 30, 2008. I am still feeling pretty crummy but have a renewed hope. I have an appointment with a new endocrinologist on June 3, 2008. My hope is he can stabilize my thyroid and I will get rid of these migraines. I have an appointment with Jefferson Headache Center in Philadelphia for September 30, 2008 just in case. I'm hoping by then I can cancel it because I am feeling better.
In the meantime I am tired, have hardly any stamina, my eyes keep twitching and I'm still seeing sort of funny. I hope no more migraines.

SARAH'S NUMB FEET

In the future, this will be a post about how Sarah's feet went numb anytime she ran. Hopefully, by the time I get around to actually writing it, I will have the good news that the problem was resolved. I think we may almost be there.

Another reason why I haven't posted....this blog could easily turn into one depressing post after another!

WHY I HARDLY EVER POST ANYMORE

I haven't been posting much because I really haven't been feeling well. Its been almost two years now that I've been dealing with out of whack hormones. It seems like every three or four months I have some new difficulty. It started in the spring of 2006 when I began having migraine headaches and my period started coming every three weeks. I've had a pituitary tumor removed in the past. Since the pituitary is the master gland located in your head and attached to your brain, it can cause some hormonal problems. Among other things, these hormone troubles can mess up your period. I was worried in 2006 that it had come back (50% of pituitary tumors grow back after surgery).



I went to an endocrinologist to find out if it had grown back. She ran some blood tests and had an MRI done. While I was there she looked at my neck and felt it. She found a thyroid nodule that needed to be checked out with an ultrasound and then a fine needle biopsy. She also had some blood work done for possible thyroid disease.

My follow-up visit was filled with bad news. I had a mass on my pituitary and I had an under active thyroid caused by Hashimoto's disease. Hashimoto's disease is an autoimmune disease where my own body is destroying my thyroid. I've been trying to control my thyroid hormone levels ever since. Its bounced between under active and overactive. Mostly just under active and slowly getting worse. Each time my blood work shows numbers that are out of the normal range I feel crummy. It takes several weeks for me to feel better from a new dose of medicine. I recently started taking a higher dose 5 days ago. One of the signals that something is not right is that I get migraines. I also have major brain fog. I also feel exhausted and often times fall asleep during the day. There are other symptoms that I get but those are the worse to deal with.

The mass on my pituitary was not definitively found to be a tumor. However, one of the signs that it is a tumor is that the level of your hormone prolactin is elevated. Mine has been going up and down for the past two years. We figured out that when it goes up it causes me some of the same symptoms as the thyroid does. Mainly, migraine headaches and brain fog. In November we decided to start treating it and with medication we've lowered it into the normal range. In the first six months after finding the pituitary mass, it did not grow. I will be having another MRI in March to see what it looks like now. I've taken to calling it "the tumor" instead of "the mass". I really hope it hasn't grown. It's 1.1 cm, anything over a cm is considered a macro tumor as opposed to a micro tumor.

Since it takes me weeks to recover from either my thyroid hormone being off or my prolactin level being off, I spend much of my time not feeling really well. I know that it could be worse but another symptom is feeling down in the dumps. I think a lot of it is hormonal but there's also the fact that I'm just plain sick of all of this. Whenever I get another migraine, I just think "not again."

Note: I've read this over but I don't have the mental fortitude to try to make sure it makes complete sense.

UPDATE MAY 29, 2008: I spoke to my neurosurgeon and he is almost 100% sure that the mass on my pituitary is not a tumor. Possibly just scar tissue. He had said this before but I was worried because of my elevated prolactin. He said that my prolactin level is not really high enough to be indicative of a tumor. He said it would be at least 75 - mine's always less than 50 but more than 30 - it bounces all over the place. I really trust him and believe that he is right. So now I call it "the blob" on my pituitary. Actually its really adjacent to the pituitary. After feeling really sick and having side effects that I am pretty sure were because of the cabergoline, I decided to stop taking it. A lot of those side effects have gone away although I am still feeling badly.

I am seeing a new endocrinologist soon because I am sick of feeling lousy. I'm hoping a new doctor with more experience will be able to help me. He is around 2 1/2 hours away in Philadelphia but I've read a lot of great recommendations on him. I'm hoping it will be worth the trip and I will feel better. I'm hoping a switch in thyroid medication will help me. I am filled with hope...I feel like I've lost these past two years of my life.

SARAH'S EAR TUBE MAKES HER HEARING EXTRA SENSITIVE

Well, Sarah had her tube put in on January 7, 2008. She was mostly worried about not eating and not sleeping well and having it cause her a migraine headache. This did not happen. We arrived at the hospital at the scheduled time and then had to wait in the waiting area for a half hour. We got called back to the surgery area and asked a few questions. She had to put on her hospital Johnny and then was put into a bed to wait some more. It wasn't long before the Anesthesiologist came by and told us he was going to insert the IV before he put her to sleep. When Erin had had tubes put in (twice) they had put her to sleep with gas and then inserted the IV. I had told Sarah that this was what would happen so we were both quite surprised. He felt her arm and told us that she had a good vein. OOPS he missed it. Things went down hill from there. Sarah's eyes were bugged out of her head as he tried to do it again into her hand. I was holding the other hand and felt it go from warm to cold and knew that they wouldn't have much luck. Her veins had collapsed in her panic. She didn't cry but she did feel feint. Then she felt sick to her stomach. Finally, they decided to put her to sleep with gas and then put it in. Both hands were really bruised up and stayed that way for weeks. They must have hit some nerves because she had some weird numbness in her pinkies for a least a month following.

The news from the actual surgery was better. No tumor blocking the Eustachian tube. No fluid in the other ear. Just the one tube and it went in fine.

Things were quite sore afterwards. She had quite a bit of hearing loss beforehand so things seemed quite loud to her after the tube was put in. I knew that when a tube is put in your ear there can be hypersensitivity in your hearing so it was no surprised. I knew that she would have trouble at school, especially in the lunch room. I wanted to make arrangements for her to eat some place else until her hearing was less sensitive. When the nurse from the hospital called I asked her if she knew how long things would seem extra loud for Sarah. She didn't know and recommended that I send Sarah to school with cotton to stuff in her ear. I then called the doctors office and spoke to the nurse there. She not only didn't know, she was amazed that this was happening. I also checked out the internet and was surprised I couldn't find out a lot of information about it. This is surprising because I know it must happen quite frequently. My husband had tubes when he was a kid and he can remember that his hearing was so sensitive that it actually hurt his ears. I finally gave up and figured we would just deal with however long it took. I want to write what happened in regards to this so that if someone else out there ends up at this website they will know how long to expect things to seem loud. During the first day Sarah's hearing was so sensitive that it did indeed hurt. I had to whisper everything. The sensitivity seemed to ebb and flow a bit, probably due to the fact that there may have been some fluid or blood building up and draining. In turn that would block and unblock the hearing. At least that is my guess. The next day she didn't complain about pain from noise although things were still sore in general. We still were talking quietly to her but not keeping things super quiet. She stayed home from school the second day but went back on the third. I arranged for her to eat in a room next to the nurses room (yes, germ heaven). The fourth day she decided on her own to eat in the lunch room Things still seemed a bit loud to her but she knew that she could plug her ear if it got to be too much. I would say that in about a week her hearing seemed normal to her.

SARAH'S EAR

Tomorrow Sarah goes to have surgery to have a tube put in her ear. It all started at the end of September when she told me that she was having trouble hearing out of one ear. Like a good mother I ignored her the first time she told me. The second time (a couple weeks later) she told me again and I had her plug her good ear and tell me if she could hear the TV with the bad ear. She couldn't. I'm no Sherlock Holmes so it took me a day to figure out that it could be an ear infection. Last fall she had gotten an ear infection and did not have any pain until the infection was so bad the eardrum was about to burst. I know that it was about to burst because she described the pain as "throbbing" and said it felt like something in her ear was "growing." Now you would think I would be very tuned in to any sort of thing happening with her ears. So although she didn't have any pain, I decided a trip to the pediatrician was in order. Of course she did indeed have an ear infection. Quite bad actually. The course of treatment followed a similar path to last year. It took two or three rounds of progressively stronger antibiotics to cure the infection. Afterwards she had to be on six weeks of maintenance antibiotics because of residual fluid left over in the ear. Last year after the six weeks the fluid was gone but this year the fluid was still there.

Fortunately, we have an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist that we are familiar with (Tom has on going sinus problems and Erin had tubes in her ears when she was younger). I made an appointment and I wasn't surprised when he tested her hearing and she was having trouble hearing with that ear. We already knew this but hey, why not pay for an expensive test to tell us the same thing! Just joking, I'm sure its important to know just how much hearing lose there is just to compare with how much is restored after the tubes. He recommend a tube and said he would check the other ear for fluid during surgery and if some was in there he may put two tubes in. He said that it is common at this age for the adenoids to swell and sometimes block the end of the Eustachian tube so fluid can't drain. The adenoids usually go back down in a year or two. He also said in very rare cases the tube may be blocked by a tumor. He will check during surgery.

Considering Sarah is my little worry wart, she is doing outstanding. She really doesn't seem stressed much at all. I'm sure she will be a little worried tomorrow but so far so good. I am not really worried because we have been through this twice before with Erin. It gets to a point where you just want to get the tube put in so the problem can go away. I am constantly worried that the ear infection will flair up again. It just makes matters worse knowing she doesn't get the pain until its almost too late. She is off the antibiotics now for a couple of weeks so it could come back at any time. It will also be nice that she won't need those antibiotics since they really mess up her digestive system.

LUCKY ERIN

For the past couple of years Erin has complained about pains in her hips and knees. In 7th grade when she started to run cross country, she had to stop for a couple of weeks when her hip became sore. The spring of 7th grade she came home one day and told me that her knee had gotten locked in a bent position when she had tried to straighten it after sitting on her knees during class. It was so painful that she almost passed out. She ended up crying in school, something that she never does. She was finally able to get it unlocked by bending it even more and she felt her knee "slide" back into place. Then this year in 8th grade she had a similar problem where her knee would hurt when she tried to straighten it (one time after sitting with her legs bent up under her). In between these incidents she would often tell me about minor aches and pains. I decided that although I didn't think she had a serious problem, we should take her to an orthopedic doctor.

The visit was definitely worth the $15 copay. He told us that it is very common for adolescent girls to have knees that tend to slide back and forth. He showed us by putting marks on her knee and then moving it from straight to bent. Sure enough her knee slid about a half inch to the outside. Very creepy. He also told us that as her hips widen she would get pain there too. He said some girls suffer much more than she has and it can get very painful. He told us that when she sits on her legs with her knees bent that causes inflammation under the knee cap. Then when she tries to straighten them they move and because of all this inflammation it really hurts. The good thing is that her knees and hips should feel better after adolescence.

He then told her to stand and pointed out that her arch was okay until she stood and then it would collapse. He said that her feet tended to roll in because of the collapsing arch and that puts more stress on the moving knees and growing hips. He recommended that we buy "stability" running sneakers. He gave us a website to go to in order to know which sneakers to buy. When I came home, I checked the sneakers that she had used this year for running and found out that they were stability sneakers. I figured that was why she didn't have a problem while running this year. At the time I had thought it was odd that she didn't complain during the time she was running, all the problems happened at other times of the year. I think we both feel happy that all her problems are just normal things that will eventually get resolved.

FEELING BETTER

I have been feeling better for awhile now but haven't posted because I have been busy with the holidays. The new medication I was on made me get more migraines for the first week but now I have been migraine free since. It took awhile but most of my energy has come back also. I once again have a zest for life. I don't know if I'd call myself a dynamo, but at least I have enough energy to accomplish some things.

Thanksgiving was spent at home. I cooked a turkey with all the usual fixings. Christmas was also spent at home. I kept feeling thankful that I was doing so much better and realizing that I couldn't have survived all the shopping and preparing if I didn't feel so good. It really made me appreciate my health. I happily spent the last few days before Christmas sewing pajamas for the three kids to wear on Christmas Eve. I really love sewing. I was disappointed however, that my sewing kept getting interrupted by phone calls bringing bad news! I guess I was being selfish when I got to the point of wishing people would stop calling. I felt that now that I was finally feeling better, I didn't like hearing all this depressing stuff! I just wanted to enjoy the holidays. I did try to be a good person and give these people time to vent. Things seem to be calmed down now so I think I will get some peace.