My dog Beau in a healthier moment!
Saturday, July 30, 2005
BOB AND DEREK
My two kitties Bob on top and Derek on the bottom. Just in case you thought that toy box was a miniature, its not, they are just really big cats!
SAM
This is my cousin's horse, Sam, that we get to ride every year when we visit them in NH. Her other horse, Zip (Sam's mom) is the one that I ride. Zip is not very zippy!
604,800 SECONDS OF HAPPINESS SAVED!
I just read a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson on another blog. "For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness." Well, last night I think I lost 10,800 seconds of happiness. Dang! I really have got to work on this! Actually it was sort of a worrying kind of anger thing. You see I have this problem. When someone takes advantage of me I have this absurd habit of worrying about their feelings. I try to stick up for myself, but I am so bad at it that I literally spend hours worrying how best to approach the subject. All that worrying makes me angry at them as well as myself. How sick is that? I guess I need to give myself credit for the fact that in the past I would not stick up for myself and end up resenting the person who took advantage of me. This most recent problem would have possibly involved being resentful for an entire week of my summer vacation...That thought is what kept me awake last night losing happiness. And that thought is what prompted me to stand up for myself. I also need to give myself credit for the fact that once I do stand up for myself I take on the attitude of what is done is done and I no longer lose happiness over the problem. By standing up for myself I saved 604,800 seconds of happiness! Hooray!!
Friday, July 29, 2005
ANOTHER DOG STORY
We went on our yearly camping trip to Knoebel's Campground and amusement park. We left monday. Tom left at 10:00 am with the kids and camper. I left later. Why you might ask? I had to stay home to let the dog's stomach recover from his night of digestive distress. Have you ever had the early morning joy of coming down stairs to the sight of 12 piles of nasty looking dog puke? At least I think it was puke. It may have been something from the other end, it smelled bad enough! It may have been a combination of the two ends. All I know is that I couldn't yell at the poor pathetic dog that was huddled by the front door in the only spot that wasn't covered in grossness. Three rolls of paper towels later I realized that I would also need to steam clean the carpet in two of the infected areas...the other two rooms were wood and linoleum. The pee that he released was the easy part. Not sure if he peed himself out of fear that he was in trouble for the other mess or if he was just having a total breakdown of his bodily functions. Sigh. I cleaned the mess, did my steam cleaning and stayed home with him until I was pretty certain that a road trip would not cause a relapse. I wish I had a picture of my expression coming down those stairs in the morning...
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING
July fifth was one of those windy beach days where you come back from the beach cold but still sticky from the salt blowing around in the air. I was walking back to my bungalow with my youngest daughter Sarah and her friend Krissy in tow. Erin was still at the beach with Krissy's mom and her two other kids. Thomas and my husband Tom had taken advantage of the wind and planned on spending the entire afternoon on our sailboat. The only thing on my mind was a hot shower. I could almost feel the warmth of the water washing all the salt away.
I glanced down the street and saw my husband approaching. Hmmm, I guess sailing wasn't so great and he decided not to sail all the way to the bridge. Strangely, I remember first looking at his feet and wondering why they were moving so fast. As my gaze slowly worked its way up his body I could see how fast he was moving. Not a run but a purposeful, brisk pace. When my eyes reached his face I immediately knew something was wrong. In a moment I could see everything, his drenched clothes, the pain in his expression, the knowledge that something terrible had happened. Things became surreal. And I screamed "what happened to HIM". But it wasn't a real scream. More of a primal wail, not hysterical like you might expect. I remember thinking, whose voice is this? Was it agony or anger making it sound that way? Where was MY son? Was he dead? It was only later that I realized he was not MY son but OUR son? My first reaction was based only on a pure and primitive maternal instinct. I needed to protect my son, but it was too late. I was helpless. Unable to change what had already happened. As every mother does, I imagined the worse. The possiblilities came shooting through my mind like bullets.
Almost immediately my husband held up his hands and said "he's alright". Mercifully, he gave me the knowledge that Thomas was alive but my adrenaline rush would not allow me to slow down. I began to drill him with questions. Was he in the hospital? If he's not in the hospital is he in the house? My panic was mixed with confusion. I couldn't stop until I knew where he was.
The wind had picked up almost as soon as they began sailing. Without even making it acrossed the bay once my husband decided that they should abandon their journey. Before he even tried to turn around he knew it would be difficult. As it turned out, it would be impossible. Trying to turn five times resulted in capsizing the sailboat three times. The ropes became hopelessly tangled. A passing boater stopped to assist them. Thomas was getting tired and cold and asked if he could rest on his boat while his dad straightened things out with the sailboat. Little did my husband know as he was trying to get things back in order the would be rescuer had troubles of his own. They drifted further and further apart. They tried but were unable to signal to my husband that the boat's engine had died. Confused as to why the boater was leaving with Thomas my husband tried to reassure himself that the man was a good person for trying to help and would try to return Thomas to shore. Before they had drifted out of view, Thomas looked relaxed and happy so he was sure that when he finally got the sailboat back home he would be greeted by his son. He finally had to give up with the sail and paddle the boat home. His paddle had broken so he was happy when an off duty tow boat was kind enough to tow him back. His fears started to get the better of him when Thomas was not home as he had hoped.
That brings us up to our encounter in the street outside our bungalow. As I heard the story and embraced Tom in a hug I realized we needed to call the police. Fortunately, the boater had a cell phone and had also called in so it was only about a half hour before we knew the situation and could get directions to the marina where he was being towed.
Thomas was very glad to see us. He knew he was safe but just said he REALLY missed us. Tom and I needed to calm down from the shock. Each of us had been scared for different reasons. Tom because although he assumed Thomas was safe, he was still missing. Me because there was a moment where I believed he was dead. That moment was less than a minute but felt like an eternity. I can still imagine the feeling washing over me like a tidal wave, crushing me in emotional agony making it difficult for my heart to go on beating. A moment that I'm glad had an ending. I weep for the people who have those moments that don't end. How hard it must be for their hearts to go on beating.
I glanced down the street and saw my husband approaching. Hmmm, I guess sailing wasn't so great and he decided not to sail all the way to the bridge. Strangely, I remember first looking at his feet and wondering why they were moving so fast. As my gaze slowly worked its way up his body I could see how fast he was moving. Not a run but a purposeful, brisk pace. When my eyes reached his face I immediately knew something was wrong. In a moment I could see everything, his drenched clothes, the pain in his expression, the knowledge that something terrible had happened. Things became surreal. And I screamed "what happened to HIM". But it wasn't a real scream. More of a primal wail, not hysterical like you might expect. I remember thinking, whose voice is this? Was it agony or anger making it sound that way? Where was MY son? Was he dead? It was only later that I realized he was not MY son but OUR son? My first reaction was based only on a pure and primitive maternal instinct. I needed to protect my son, but it was too late. I was helpless. Unable to change what had already happened. As every mother does, I imagined the worse. The possiblilities came shooting through my mind like bullets.
Almost immediately my husband held up his hands and said "he's alright". Mercifully, he gave me the knowledge that Thomas was alive but my adrenaline rush would not allow me to slow down. I began to drill him with questions. Was he in the hospital? If he's not in the hospital is he in the house? My panic was mixed with confusion. I couldn't stop until I knew where he was.
The wind had picked up almost as soon as they began sailing. Without even making it acrossed the bay once my husband decided that they should abandon their journey. Before he even tried to turn around he knew it would be difficult. As it turned out, it would be impossible. Trying to turn five times resulted in capsizing the sailboat three times. The ropes became hopelessly tangled. A passing boater stopped to assist them. Thomas was getting tired and cold and asked if he could rest on his boat while his dad straightened things out with the sailboat. Little did my husband know as he was trying to get things back in order the would be rescuer had troubles of his own. They drifted further and further apart. They tried but were unable to signal to my husband that the boat's engine had died. Confused as to why the boater was leaving with Thomas my husband tried to reassure himself that the man was a good person for trying to help and would try to return Thomas to shore. Before they had drifted out of view, Thomas looked relaxed and happy so he was sure that when he finally got the sailboat back home he would be greeted by his son. He finally had to give up with the sail and paddle the boat home. His paddle had broken so he was happy when an off duty tow boat was kind enough to tow him back. His fears started to get the better of him when Thomas was not home as he had hoped.
That brings us up to our encounter in the street outside our bungalow. As I heard the story and embraced Tom in a hug I realized we needed to call the police. Fortunately, the boater had a cell phone and had also called in so it was only about a half hour before we knew the situation and could get directions to the marina where he was being towed.
Thomas was very glad to see us. He knew he was safe but just said he REALLY missed us. Tom and I needed to calm down from the shock. Each of us had been scared for different reasons. Tom because although he assumed Thomas was safe, he was still missing. Me because there was a moment where I believed he was dead. That moment was less than a minute but felt like an eternity. I can still imagine the feeling washing over me like a tidal wave, crushing me in emotional agony making it difficult for my heart to go on beating. A moment that I'm glad had an ending. I weep for the people who have those moments that don't end. How hard it must be for their hearts to go on beating.
Sunday, July 17, 2005
HOME SWEET HOME
It's great to be back in Pennsylvania! Even though its our second "home" in New Jersey, I can only stand being there for so long before I need to come back to the tranquility of Pennsylvania! No traffic, no crowds, just peace and quiet. And the deer that came up on my porch and ate my petunias. Guess they didn't mind climbing the steps! I was looking forward to seeing some blooms on them since I grew them from seeds I collected last summer. Sigh. Well, everything is definitely green compared to the Jersey shore area even my pool that is very yucky looking. A lot of algae, but I'm already working on it. Hopefully it won't take too long to get it back to normal...
I've got to go to bed since I need to wake up and take the kitties to the vet in the morning! Then on to the hairdresser's with my daughter for much needed haircuts.
Its good to be home....
I've got to go to bed since I need to wake up and take the kitties to the vet in the morning! Then on to the hairdresser's with my daughter for much needed haircuts.
Its good to be home....
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