DIRTY ENOUGH TO BE HAPPY

It has come to my attention that many women have an obsession with cleaning. I am NOT one of them. Many times when I've been at other people's houses, I've been told "don't mind the mess" and I'm left searching for a mess that doesn't exist. I wouldn't have said I'm a slob, but lately I've wondered. Compared to these people's houses, I've allowed my house to become a pig sty!

Once a neighbor of mine came to me in a panic to borrow some bleach. She didn't want her soon to arrive visitors seeing a stain in her sink. Not only did I not have any bleach, but I had to stop myself from recommending that she just strategically place a dirty dish over the stain. I realized that I should not be giving her advice because I'm the kind of woman who once used a piece of French bread to mop up some spilled Koolaid. I was too lazy to get the sponge. Actually, I found the French bread to be quite absorbent! Dare I mention the saleswoman who called trying to sell me new windows? Apparently, they were the kind that can tilt in to be easily cleaned because she asked me how I cleaned the outside of my windows. When I said, "I don't", she laughed and confessed that once she didn't clean her windows for six months. She misunderstood what I meant by "I don't".

I've told my husband I would be willing to clean day in and day out, but I'm concerned what it would do to our kids. I think I've almost convinced him that we need to save our children from developing AOCO (adult onset cleaning obsession). The only way of stopping it is to expose them early on to plenty of messes. I also believe that my undesirable cleaning habits can benefit the mental health of other women by making them feel much better about themselves. I can hear it now, "Did you see Elise's house? What a slob, I'm much neater than her!" Think of all the boosts to their self-esteem!

Friends have also helped me in justifying my messiness. One friend said it's much better to let your house get really messy because it's more satisfying to clean a dirty house. Since then, I've tried to follow her philosophy, and I'm proud to say I've been quite successful. A particularly wise friend said "I figure if people came to see a clean house, they're coming to visit the wrong person." Wow, I'd like to reach that state-of-mind. So, don't be surprised if the next time you stop by, you have to step over some dirty clothes, around a pile of toys and then slip on a banana peel!