AND AGAIN?

It's January 2, 2017 and do I say I am starting to write again?  Seems kind of absurd since the last time I wrote that was a year and a half ago.  So I won't say it.  I will say that the older I get the more I try to limit how many things cause me pressure.  I refuse to let this cause me pressure.  Somethings we can't avoid like going to our job every day.  I don't know if other people have found their bliss and love going to their job every day but I can say I am one person that does not.  I strive for acceptance and having at least parts of my job that I enjoy.  I do like to work but I don't know if that is because I have worked for so long.  I like to believe that even "perfect" jobs have their days where they are not enjoyable.

Since I have not written for so long, my life is now in a completely different phase.  I am considered an "empty nester" and I think people assume that I am pining for the good old days of having my kids at home.  I just don't feel that way.  Maybe I should.  I think I mostly feel relief that the bulk of the work is over but I also have that feeling of "what now?"  It's an odd feeling to me when I am confronted with people who think I should feel that way since I was so close to my kids and they have always been such a big part of my life.  I'm sure that there are other mothers out there that feel the same.

It's always been hard to voice opinions or feelings that other people don't think I should have.  I went back to work when my youngest was in her last couple of years of high school so my life is definitely full.  I guess maybe it's too full to be able to think about being an empty nester.

So here I am, 52 years old and wondering how I will fill the next 20 years.

Elise