I've recently come to the conclusion that I may have a tendency to become friends with Know It Alls. I realized this after I was noting the similarities between a couple of my friends. I was thinking that they both love to tell me what to do. They both think they are more knowledgeable than they actually are. They both think they are more physically adept than they are. Then I started to see that many people in my life are this way. I was wondering if the world is populated with a bunch of Know It Alls or if they just seem to flock to me.
Mostly I just brush all of this advice and banter off but on some level I find it annoying. I try to tell myself that they are doing it because they care about me but another part of me feels that they think I'm some sort of loser who needs to be guided in the right direction. Its not that I think that I'm a loser but its annoying that they might think I'm a loser. It's quite possible that because I am a good listener who doesn't want to hurt people's feelings they feel comfortable letting loose on me.
I'm sure that this kind of talk makes them feel good. I dare say that just maybe they don't really feel good about themselves. They can reduce their insecurities by constantly letting others know just how smart, strong, wonderful they really are.
In reality, we all know that I'm much better than every one of them!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
CRAZY NEIGHBOR
I think I have a crazy neighbor.
I have an older Golden Retriever, Beau, that I used to walk off leash on the dirt road by my house. On the rare occasions that a car came by I would call him to me until the car passed by. As he's gotten older his hearing has deteriorated and he has trouble hearing me calling him. Mostly I don't walk him on the road anymore and instead I've made a path on my 5 acres of land and walk him there.
Yesterday I was walking him on the path with my daughter Sarah. As I walked him (on our own land) by a neighbor's house, their dog that was inside started barking (a Jack Russel terrier). Eventually the woman came out of her house, I assumed, to see what the dog was barking at. When she saw us she folded her arms acrossed her chest and began staring at us. She continued to do this. I could tell she was angry and I figured maybe she didn't know that I was on my own land. Although they moved in a couple of years ago, I do not know her and have never introduced myself her. I decided that we should have a little chat so I could explain myself. I looked at her and yelled "hello!" She continued to stare. I thought, well maybe she didn't hear me or doesn't know that I'm talking to her. I yelled again and waved. She said nothing and continued to give me the evil eye. I looked a moment longer, then looked at Sarah who thought the whole situation was as weird as I thought and finally we just walked off.
Weird, weird, weird....this is a crazy situation. I began getting opinions on what I should do. I don't want to be walking in my own backyard and have this lady staring at me. A friend told me that I gave her a chance and now I should act as if she doesn't exist. Tom told me that he would have walked right up to her and said "hi, my name is Tom." My daughter Erin told me that if she did it again, she'd stare her down. Sarah agreed with Erin. Thomas as usual was no help - ha ha. I think I am going to combine a couple ideas and if she does this again I will stare right back. If she says something to me I will pretend she doesn't exist. I will give her a taste of her own medicine. I don't want to be friends, I just want her to stop.
Another reason I don't want to befriend her is that a small part of me wonders just how psycho she is. If I had a neighbor that I knew and they got mad at me for any reason and then stared me down, I'd think that was relatively normal. Not nice, but normal. Since I do not know this lady at all, it's just plain weird. That's another weird thing. She lives on the road that I have been walking my dog on and I've met every other person on that road and waved and even chatted with them. I don't even really know what these people look like...after two years! I've even "met" their dog who one time got loose and came running after Beau.
In my more paranoid moments I wonder if she would ever do something to my cats. About a month ago all three of my cats were suddenly not very hungry. This is a big deal because they are all very piggy. I started thinking that someone in the neighborhood possibly was feeding them. Then one of them became quite ill and was throwing up and had really bad diarrhea. I started to wonder what they had found and what they were eating. I can remember briefly giving thought to the fact that maybe we have a cat hater in the neighborhood, feeding them god knows what. It was only a passing thought because in general I am not a paranoid person. I began to wonder about this lady when on that same day I saw one of my cats heading home coming from the direction of her house.
Well there's not much I can do about any of this and have no desire for an all out war with any neighbors. So, I will just see what develops and go with what feels right at the time.
I have an older Golden Retriever, Beau, that I used to walk off leash on the dirt road by my house. On the rare occasions that a car came by I would call him to me until the car passed by. As he's gotten older his hearing has deteriorated and he has trouble hearing me calling him. Mostly I don't walk him on the road anymore and instead I've made a path on my 5 acres of land and walk him there.
Yesterday I was walking him on the path with my daughter Sarah. As I walked him (on our own land) by a neighbor's house, their dog that was inside started barking (a Jack Russel terrier). Eventually the woman came out of her house, I assumed, to see what the dog was barking at. When she saw us she folded her arms acrossed her chest and began staring at us. She continued to do this. I could tell she was angry and I figured maybe she didn't know that I was on my own land. Although they moved in a couple of years ago, I do not know her and have never introduced myself her. I decided that we should have a little chat so I could explain myself. I looked at her and yelled "hello!" She continued to stare. I thought, well maybe she didn't hear me or doesn't know that I'm talking to her. I yelled again and waved. She said nothing and continued to give me the evil eye. I looked a moment longer, then looked at Sarah who thought the whole situation was as weird as I thought and finally we just walked off.
Weird, weird, weird....this is a crazy situation. I began getting opinions on what I should do. I don't want to be walking in my own backyard and have this lady staring at me. A friend told me that I gave her a chance and now I should act as if she doesn't exist. Tom told me that he would have walked right up to her and said "hi, my name is Tom." My daughter Erin told me that if she did it again, she'd stare her down. Sarah agreed with Erin. Thomas as usual was no help - ha ha. I think I am going to combine a couple ideas and if she does this again I will stare right back. If she says something to me I will pretend she doesn't exist. I will give her a taste of her own medicine. I don't want to be friends, I just want her to stop.
Another reason I don't want to befriend her is that a small part of me wonders just how psycho she is. If I had a neighbor that I knew and they got mad at me for any reason and then stared me down, I'd think that was relatively normal. Not nice, but normal. Since I do not know this lady at all, it's just plain weird. That's another weird thing. She lives on the road that I have been walking my dog on and I've met every other person on that road and waved and even chatted with them. I don't even really know what these people look like...after two years! I've even "met" their dog who one time got loose and came running after Beau.
In my more paranoid moments I wonder if she would ever do something to my cats. About a month ago all three of my cats were suddenly not very hungry. This is a big deal because they are all very piggy. I started thinking that someone in the neighborhood possibly was feeding them. Then one of them became quite ill and was throwing up and had really bad diarrhea. I started to wonder what they had found and what they were eating. I can remember briefly giving thought to the fact that maybe we have a cat hater in the neighborhood, feeding them god knows what. It was only a passing thought because in general I am not a paranoid person. I began to wonder about this lady when on that same day I saw one of my cats heading home coming from the direction of her house.
Well there's not much I can do about any of this and have no desire for an all out war with any neighbors. So, I will just see what develops and go with what feels right at the time.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
LEARNING WHO TO TRUST
Have you ever had a friend that spends a lot of time complaining about other people in their life? I do, I have a friend that is constantly putting down her other friends as well as her close relatives. She claims that she really likes/loves these people but I am surprised at how negative she can be. I often wonder why she is even friends with these people if she thinks such bad things about them. I realize that everyone can sometimes complain about their friends - like I am right now. However, this goes beyond the usual whining.
The funny thing is, that it has finally dawned on me that since she considers me a close friend, chances are she is complaining about me to these other people! I had never really thought about it until recently when I talked to her adult daughter. The conversation didn't go well. For no apparent reason the daughter was very annoyed with me - to the point that she raised her voice at me. It was a short conversation and I had not given her any reason to be so upset. We rarely have a chance to speak to each other so I can't imagine it was something I had previously said. It was quite strange until I realized that her negativity probably stemmed from some private discussions her and her mother had about me. She probably came into the conversation with some preconceived perceptions. The only other reason I can think is that she is such a stressed out individual that she is constantly on the verge of yelling at everyone.
The question that I ask myself is why would I be so stupid to think that her mother isn't trashing me like she does all her other "friends? One might say that I shouldn't assume that she is doing this. But how can I think otherwise? How could I believe that I could be the only person in her life that she doesn't talk so negatively about?
It bothers me that she does this because I do consider her a close friend. I am not one to open up to people who are not supportive to me. It's a bummer because now I have to censor our friendship. Some people would be able to accept that is the way she is and not worry about it. I am not like that, I do not want to think that she is taking what I confide to her and twisting it around into something negative. I will not end our friendship but unfortunately, our friendship has now become more shallow.
The funny thing is, that it has finally dawned on me that since she considers me a close friend, chances are she is complaining about me to these other people! I had never really thought about it until recently when I talked to her adult daughter. The conversation didn't go well. For no apparent reason the daughter was very annoyed with me - to the point that she raised her voice at me. It was a short conversation and I had not given her any reason to be so upset. We rarely have a chance to speak to each other so I can't imagine it was something I had previously said. It was quite strange until I realized that her negativity probably stemmed from some private discussions her and her mother had about me. She probably came into the conversation with some preconceived perceptions. The only other reason I can think is that she is such a stressed out individual that she is constantly on the verge of yelling at everyone.
The question that I ask myself is why would I be so stupid to think that her mother isn't trashing me like she does all her other "friends? One might say that I shouldn't assume that she is doing this. But how can I think otherwise? How could I believe that I could be the only person in her life that she doesn't talk so negatively about?
It bothers me that she does this because I do consider her a close friend. I am not one to open up to people who are not supportive to me. It's a bummer because now I have to censor our friendship. Some people would be able to accept that is the way she is and not worry about it. I am not like that, I do not want to think that she is taking what I confide to her and twisting it around into something negative. I will not end our friendship but unfortunately, our friendship has now become more shallow.
Friday, November 07, 2008
Monday, November 03, 2008
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