WARM THOUGHTS

I'm quite stiff from shoveling and playing in the snow but I'm trying to look on the bright side. This is my way of getting in shape for the gardening season! It actually feels good to be able to do enough to get stiff. I've been battling my thyroid - literally - since my body seems to be wanting to kill it off a little more and make me increase my medication dose! I've already increased it twice and I'm not sure if that will be enough so in the meantime my brain has rebelled! It has triggered an episode of frequent migraines. I've been fighting the brain fog associated with those crazy neurons firing out of control! My strategy during this increased physical activity time is to keep saying "I hope I don't get a migraine from all this exercise!" I've decided to do this since some of my migraines seem to come out of the blue. It's sort of like the theory that it won't rain if you carry your umbrella! If I keep talking about migraines I won't get one?

Anyway, back to my real reason for writing this post. Although I have admitted that I'm totally enjoying this snow, I am definitely thinking about gardening! Anyone who knows me, knows that this is the time of year that I start puffing myself up with grandiose plans! I have so many ideas that I would have to garden full time to carry them all out. I've been gardening on some level since I moved here in 1986. I have not been very successful but I never cease to amaze myself with my enthusiasm. Normally, in other areas of my life, failure sends me running but for some reason with gardening it just makes me dig in and try harder (pun intended). I'm sure that other people just find me annoying. However, my family as always, pulls through and listens with interest. My son, Thomas, seems to be just as oblivious to reality as I am. They even purchased an upright freezer for me in anticipation of all the vegetables I will grow and freeze! Fortunately, I like to buy things on sale and stock up, so right now it's filled with a supply of sale items.

So, keeping in mind that I will not be boring tons of readers with my current gardening plans I am going to write a little bit about what I want to do this spring and summer. Landismom, being the only outside reader, I warn you, you may want to escape now when you can! The following is sort of a record for myself of my insanity when it comes to gardening. It's quite long and drawn out!

I've been reading some gardening blogs because I love to hear from people who have started out with lousy soil. Our soil has so much clay in it that it crusts over like concrete when it dries. It has so few nutrients that two of the three that I tested last year didn't even register as being there at all. There are so many rocks that when you dig them out you are left with a hole that must be filled with something. I love reading and seeing pictures of gardens that a person claims has started out as clay. It gives me hope and gives me ideas. I know about composting and adding organic material. In spots our garden at least looks and feels better. Last year was the first year that I finally tested the soil. I then started the season with a good dose of pellet fertilizer. It gave the garden a good boost to begin with but now I realize that all too soon the seedlings eat up all the goodies and this year I will be using side dressings of fertilizer as well as Miracle Grow. I doubt if I will over fertilize but if I do, I am used to failure and it won't dampen my spirits at all!

One garden blog I read talked about "double digging" and I plan to use my own version in my garden. The real version involves digging down greater than twelve inches and I won't be doing that! What I will do is dig down as deep as I can, add a layer of mulch in the form of semi decayed wood chips and call it a day. I will try to do it as much as I can but won't be able to do it in the entire garden. I read that it really helped with someone's carrots. I've never had much luck with carrots so I'm looking for all the help I can get. I will also add more organic matter and really loosen the soil. I think in the past I've been reluctant to thin my carrots enough to allow good growth. This year I will force myself to thin them to at least three inches apart....okay, I really should go with the four inches that is recommended! Can you see me with my ruler?!

I did have some luck with Swiss Chard last year and got two meals worth so that gives me encouragement to follow my dream of a good crop of spinach! I would love to get enough to freeze some since I've been finding that the store bought spinach now has a weird taste. I'm thinking it's some special wash to kill off any e. coli? Since it's a cool weather crop I can grow it (or not grow it) in the same spot that I plan to grow my green beans - a warm weather crop. The spinach will be harvested just in time to plant my beans...maybe.

I've always wanted to grow pumpkins and watermelon and I have enough room but I don't have enough of the garden prepared for planting. Preparing it means digging out those horrible rocks and adding organic matter and fertilizer. That last part is what has always held me back. I'm bound and determined to do it this year! I will dig out small spots where I will plant the seeds and let the vines ramble over the area that can barely grow weeds.

I have had luck in growing plenty of strawberries but the berries are so stunted and pinched looking that they never amounted to much. I've learned that it's probably from the tarnished plant bug and this year I will be spraying them before the start of the season and during times that the flowers aren't present. I will be using a pesticide with neem oil since I've never been too keen on spraying chemicals and its a natural pesticide. Since neem oil is pretty much non toxic I will spray it a couple of times in the rest of my garden as well. It would also be nice if I could find a spot to plant the numerous strawberry runners that seem to be taking over the strawberry patch!

I'm very good at saving kitchen scraps for composting but I fall short when it comes to turning the compost pile. Last year I had a method of dumping a bucket of scraps in an untilled area of the garden and covering it with a combination of shredded paper, newspaper and sawdust with the hopes that it will break down and form wonderful soil. With my luck I will only succeed in attracting all the worms in my garden to that area leaving the rest of my garden worm free! No matter, I plan to do another version of this and dig a hole (long, wide and about 6 inches deep). In this hole I will dump my kitchen scraps and then cover them with leaves and sawdust to keep down the smell. I will watch as hopefully I eventually have the hole filled with fertile soil. The only problem with this is those ROCKS! Two years ago was the last time I did that kind of digging and the area was only about two by three feet and that took me over two hours!

Since I have other plans for my compost, I will use my compost bin for something else this year. I'm going to try to use it to grow potatoes. This idea came from the old potato that sprouted there last year. Why not fill the top half with dirt (there's still compost in the bottom half) and throw in some organic potatoes from the store?

I plan to buy some two by fours to box off my planting areas. I have a tendency to step on top of areas that I just planted so hopefully this will keep me off those poor seeds. Thomas has also told me that I should get some pieces of scrap plywood to step on since he says he cringes when I compact the soil so much in between the plantings.

I'm scared of the blight that hit my tomatoes last year so this year along with the tomatoes I plant in my garden I will grow some cherry tomatoes in pots on my porch. My next door neighbor grew hers on her deck last year, protected them from the over abundance of rain and had no problems with blight. I will also grow most if not all of my peppers on the porch. Last year I had thrown the two "runts of the litter" (smallest pepper seedlings) into a pot on my porch and they were the only peppers that grew.

I always try new veggies in the garden so besides the spinach I will try cauliflower and possibly some corn. I would also like to try thyme but that's a perennial and would involve preparing a permanent spot....more rocks, sigh!

So I think that is enough to keep me busy for awhile and even if only a little gets accomplished I will be happy! The limiting factor seems to be my poor decrepit body!

GIANT SNOWBALL

We had fun playing in the snow yesterday. Thomas, Erin and I made this huge snow ball. It was actually more of a wheel but it tipped over. We spent about half an hour trying to get it back upright using boards but we finally gave up! We got about a foot of snow with more to come today. They are predicting at least a foot maybe even two!

This year I've decided that I will not agree with all the people who complain about the snow. I LOVE a huge snow storm and too often I just nod my head in agreement with all the people who complain. It's been sort of funny because people tend to give me a funny look when I say "to tell you the truth, I love the snow and I'm hoping for a big blizzard!"

PIT BULL ATTACK!!

On Christmas Eve I realized that I was missing a few ingredients for my Christmas Day turkey dinner so I went to the grocery store along with many other grumpy shoppers. I was not grumpy but a man in the checkout line was grumpy! I stepped up to one of the self checkout registers only to hear "THE LINE STARTS BACK THERE!!!" I turned around to be confronted by a man that was less than happy with what he conceived as my blatant attempt at cutting in line. As he gave me a look that could kill his wife sarcastically said "wouldn't that be nice if we didn't have to wait in line". I tried to assure the man that I was not trying to cut and I sheepishly hid behind the last person in line. Which by the way, extended down a nearby aisle where the last person in line told me she had made the same mistake. I waited while thinking how one grumpy person can douse all your holiday spirit. I have not been feeling well (more migraine and thyroid troubles) so I've already been struggling to keep up my holiday spirit. I had been pretty successful until that point. I made my purchases and headed home.

After putting things away I decided to go for a relaxing walk through my neighborhood. I invited anyone in the family who wanted to come along. Thomas and Tom took me up on my offer. It was nice until we were headed up a particularly steep hill and Thomas sort of calmly said "Oh no". I had been looking down at the road as I worked my way up the hill. Since Thomas had been so calm I'm surprised that I immediately looked up. I was just in time to see a black Pit Bull charging down the hill barking and snarling as it came! I had no time to think but my immediate reaction was to bellow out "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!!??!!" As I did this I grabbed Tom's arm as if to pull him back out of harm's way and leaned toward the dog. My tone was that of a super authoritative parent yelling at a child that has been caught doing something bad. As I yelled this, it was only a few feet away from us, it stopped in it's tracks with a shocked look on its face. I think my face must have had a matching shocked look. It turned tail and slunk away with it's eyes nervously shifting back and forth to keep an eye on us. In only a couple of seconds I realized that it was working and I decided that I needed to follow up with an added "GIT HOME".

The owner came out to see what was going on and she gave us an unhappy stare. The only part of my reaction to the situation that I am unhappy with is that I told the owner I was sorry for being so loud but that we had been scared. She never said a word, never called the dog back.

We continued our walk on rubbery legs. After awhile, we began to laugh and we wished that we had a video tape of the incident. It really had a humorous side. Thomas shared the same view as the dog. He thought I was really scary and told me that actually I had scared him more than the dog!

I found my reaction quite interesting. When I was young we had a mean horse that would attack with his teeth bared if he caught you out in his field! My older sister had drilled into my head that if this happened that I should NEVER run! I should stand my ground and yell at him. It was always quite scary but it worked every time. I credit my sister's training and maybe one too many episodes of Dog Whisperer with my smart reaction. I was definitely "Alpha Dog"! I can't say that I would react the same way the next time but everyone is happy with what I did this time! I know I have a tendency to hold back in other situations when the owner is in view because I guess on some level I feel as if they should take care of the situation. However, I'm trying to drill into my head that I need to take care of business no matter who's around! Tom kept wondering "what kind of person has a dog like that?!" It's bad enough that they have a dog that is viscious but the fact that they seem not to care about protecting others is even worse. I've reported it to the community association and they notified them that next time the dog warden will be called. I just hope that next time someone doesn't get really hurt. That dog was out for blood and most people would NOT stand up to it! If you ran I'm sure it would continue it's attack! As for me, I guess I'm proud that I can stop a charging pitbull with just the sound of my voice!

NEW YEARS AT HARTMANN SQUARE

Thomas's Ball Dropping Tower. After Christmas I was looking for left over Christmas lights at 50% off and there on the shelf was this ball calling my name! One time years ago, Thomas had made his version of the New Year's Ball to lower using a Kinex tower. When I saw this ball I knew I had to ask him to make one this year! He tried to guess when to start it so it would hit the ground at exactly midnight and he was perfect! Thomas is 5 foot 6 inches (a giant in our family) and he made the tower to just fit in our 7 foot 6 inch ceilings. We toasted the New Year with Fake Champagne...as Sarah says...not to be confused with "Lake Champlain".

We enjoyed our usual Rumless Strawberry Dacquiris while waiting for midnight. We took out our "New Years Eve Predictions" book that we started in 2006. We read 2008's events and predictions. Then we made our entry for this year. We start by writing down the kids ages, heights and weights and then they make predictions for what their height and weight will be for next year. We then write all the events we can remember that happened in 2009. Although we did write down that Michael Jackson and Billy Mays died, mostly the events are things that happened in our family. From the exciting to the mundane. We don't pressure ourselves to remember everything and its definitely not in order. Then we make our predictions for what will happen in 2010. Thomas tends to make predictions involving numbers "they will find a 100,000,000 digit prime number" (the same prediction from last year since it wasn't done). Sarah tends to make silly ones like "George (her cat) will be even cuter". Erin jumps on that bandwagon and predicts "Derek (Thomas's cat) will have a puppy". Tom predicts things that he wants to do "I will finish the wood floor in our bedroom". I predict hopeful things "Our garden will produce 100.01 pounds of vegetables next year" (Thomas helped me with that one by coming up with the exact number - ha ha) We do actually predict some normal stuff too. We made it to midnight and we even heard my brother's fireworks - all the way from Georgia!

Today will be putting away our plastic champagne glasses that say "2000" on them and storing away the blender until next year. Other than that we will be making our traditional ginger bread houses...well actually house since we decided to duplicate our house if that's possible.

GOOD BYE BEAU

BEAU HARTMANN

1996 - NOVEMBER 5, 2009

LOVED BY ALL

About two weeks ago I had to have Beau "put to sleep". He had brain cancer and had started to have seizures. Although he recovered from his seizures after a day or two he was never the same as he had been. Even though he was thirteen, he was known for frolicking around like a puppy right up until about two months ago. After his third seizure I brought him to the vet and knew what had to be done. Yes, I could have dragged out his life but chose to let him go. Now that it is done, I have no regrets. I realize that I was becoming used to him dragging around without much zest for life. I prefer to remember him as that happy go lucky dog that never met a stranger. He loved everyone and everyone loved him. People who didn't like dogs liked him. How could you not like him when he came charging at you as if you were the best person in the world that had nothing better to do than scratch him behind the ears! We got him when he was 5 and spent 7 1/2 happy years with him. I have many fond memories of him and still miss him. I miss tripping over him, I miss the walks I had to bring him on rain or shine, I miss feeding him pop corn, I miss having him clean up every crumb that hit the floor and so many other things!

Good bye Beau...

CROSS COUNTRY RUNNING

This year Sarah joined the middle school cross country team so that means that all three of my kids are now runners. I really enjoy being on the sidelines, watching the whole process. I am happy and proud of my kids but maybe for different reasons than one would think.


Thomas is the fast runner of the family, the team member that the coach counts on to do well. Of course it makes him happy to do well but what really makes him happy is the act of running. He loves cross country because the races are over three miles long. He really wants to try running a 10K race which is about twice as long as that. When I try to imagine what is making him happy, I think it must be the feel of his body moving so fast and smoothly over the terrain. The feel of being young and strong. To know that his body can run eight miles in practice must be wonderful. I can see it in his eyes, in his smile.


Erin is not a fast runner but I know that she also enjoys the act of running because she has said so. She can run without the pressure of having the coaches push her to beat the other team. When she runs I don't need to count on her winning to praise her because I have no problem seeing good things. I have watched her for 3 years improving. This year I've seen how strong her body has become, the muscles in her legs have become defined. Her form is now that of a strong runner, gone is the exhausted look she had in the beginning. She must feel it too. Inside of her must be that deep satisfaction that comes from hard work. A pride that is too often squelched in teenage girls.


Sarah has only been practicing for three weeks and this is the hardest time for any runner. The aching muscles, the frustration of your body not being as strong or fast as you'd like and the nagging feeling that maybe you just aren't good enough. The only way of overcoming these things is to stick with it. As a parent this is where things get tough. I'm supposed to say encouraging things at a time when she feels so discouraged. Through the tears I just want to tell her to forget it, just quit. In some ways she wants to hear that very thing but we both know that just shouldn't happen. Not now. She needs to meet this challenge. She needs to see it through and hopefully in the end she'll think its worth it. She will see the improvement and feel the strength. As I came to pick her up from practice one day I saw her sprinting the last little bit. When she got into the van she told me how she just loved the feel of zooming along and seeing the ground flying by under her. Its there, that love of running, we'll just hope it survives the pain!

CHANGING SEASONS

This was a post that I wrote in the middle of January 2009 and for some reason never published it...I wonder why? I find that interesting so have decided to publish it now just at the end of summer, a glimpse into the heart of winter.

I'm not one to spend much time watching the weather channel so this new snow that is falling is a bit of a surprise for me. I usually count on other people to tell me about the approach of the latest storm or I just let the weather happen as it will. The last I heard we were just getting a few snow showers. I would guess we already have 5 inches and its still coming down.

I am not sick of winter yet. I haven't had a chance to go ice skating. We were planning to go today but I will have to see if anyone has the energy to shovel off the spot on the lake. By the time February rolls around winter will be a drag. Gone will be the joy of a freshly fallen snow. Tending a toasty fire will just become a chore. The biting cold will no longer be brisk and refreshing. March will taunt us with a few warm days only to be followed by a whirling snow storm. I'll long for spring. I'll pay attention to every little sign. In February I will listen for the birds. They sing more and more because they realize soon the warm weather will come. Before I know it, the geese will be coming back and the green will sprout.

I love the changing of the seasons. Just when you think you can't take anymore of one season, another one jumps in to take over.

LIVING GREEN

I hate getting sucked into doing things because they are a fad. Lately, the big fad seems to be living green and saving money. I've had a garden for years and I really have always loved to be careful with my money. Some of the things that I've done have seemed laughable in the past but now are common place.

I save almost all my kitchen scraps in a bucket on my back deck for composting. I've made sure to not let my neat freak in laws see it but now it may be something that I can be proud of. I often walk around with dirt under my fingernails because I don't usually wear gardening gloves. I can now be proud instead of worrying what people will think of me. Instead of wondering why I have a dilapidated fence in a spot on my front lawn visitors ask what I'm growing.

Instead of explaining that I hate shopping and would rather not spend unnecessarily, people might ask me how I manage to save so much. No longer will I be smirked at while rifling through my coupons.

To be fair, over the years most people have not criticized me for my way of being but now its nice to revel in the fact that I may be admired for my garden and cheapness! I wonder how long this fad will last?

MY KIDS ARE GREAT PEOPLE

Dear Friend,

I meant to write about this in my last post but I sort of got off on a tangent and it didn't seem to fit in very well and I decided to make it a separate post.

As my kids have grown older I've been able to enjoy them as people more. When they were younger I was spending much of my time teaching them how to be good people and teaching them to be able to live a happy and fulfilling life. I still do guide them but mostly they've become who they will be. And I like them. I like to spend time with them. I like to have everyday conversations with them. If they weren't already my children I would choose them as friends.

It may not be socially correct to say that time with younger kids can be a lot of tedious work but it can be. Its hard to read that same children's book for the 500th time. Its hard to answer those endless questions that start with "why..." I know that I was supposed to be dreamy eyed with wonderment as my children discovered the world but its hard to do that when you are changing a poopy diaper or surviving one of many tantrums. Its maddening when someone tells you to cherish every moment because time goes so fast. I can remember many times when I did feel awe in the magic of motherhood. I can remember staring at Thomas when he read his first chapter book. I still smile when I think about Erin crashing her electric jeep and her first thought was the safety of Sarah who was riding with her. Sarah amazed me when she was two and she drew a picture of me flying a kite and I could actually tell what it was. Yes many times it is enjoyable but that doesn't change the fact that its so much gosh darn work!

Now that I have a preteen and two teenagers I don't need to do so much work. I don't need to be following them around every minute guiding them through life. More and more they are following their own paths. Each path is interesting and I get to walk beside them instead of pushing from behind. I'm spending this time with them and mostly not worrying where it leads. Its nice to enjoy them without the worry. I feel confident that they can handle the bumps along the way.

THESE ARE THE BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE

Dear Friend,

Although some days I'm grumpy, I realize that these days truly are the best days of my life. After the many unhappy days of my childhood and the following adult years when I was trying to sort out my past, I am finally in a time when I can just sit back and soak in the happiness. Sometimes I look back with regret on how much time that seemed to be wasted on lamenting my relationship with my parents. I guess it was just what I needed to go through at the time.

This is a time that most of the hard work has been done raising my kids. They've reached an age where I can enjoy the fruits of my labor. All the worrying whether I was doing the right thing has come to a point that I can realize yes, I was doing the right thing. I'm not saying that I don't have bad days where I wonder if I've made some mistakes. I have made some mistakes and sometimes this thought can be overwhelming, but in general I am happy with myself as a mother. I am extremely happy with my kids. I have a great husband and three great kids and that means that I am surrounded by people who I love and people who love me. What more could a person ask for? In a world where success is measured in dollars, I know a secret. Success is not about how much money you make or how many things you possess, it's about how happy you are. Everyone wants to be loved and unfortunately some people confuse popularity or admiration for love. I may not be super popular and I may not have hoards of people admiring me, but I have four people who love me. FOUR! A person could be happy with just one person loving them and I've got FOUR!