MY YEAR IN REVIEW


CHAPTER 1

I started the year on a new medication that was supposed to get rid of my migraines. I had started to get a lot the previous October. It seemed to be helping until February when I had a really bad spell. Let's just say that they call it "migraine disease" because its not just a headache. Lucky Tom, he was home recovering from his shoulder surgery during my worse week where I got a migraine 6 out of 7 days and I was in bed with a brain that was barely functioning...somewhat scary for me since my vision was not working properly. He took care of the kids, he managed to drive them to school and back. Anyway, Tom's surgery was to remove a calcium deposit that had built up and was limiting the movement in his arm so he couldn't raise it over his head. It was causing quite a bit of pain and had gotten to the point that it was interrupting his sleep. The surgeon who removed it did a very good job. So good in fact that he had told us that he hadn't gotten all of the deposit but when I asked him to show me the remainder on the xray at Tom's follow-up visit he just said "hmmm, good question I must have done better than I thought!" Tom has another less painful deposit in the other shoulder...someday.

So eventually when my brain cleared enough to think a little I decided to change doctors. I researched and decided on one that had excellent reviews in Philadelphia (also an office in NJ). I went to him at the beginning of June. He discovered I had an iron deficiency and I've been on iron ever since. Also changed my thyroid medication. Just to finish up about me, me, me....I went to the Jefferson Headache Center in Philadelphia at the end of September and am now on an anti seizure med (no, I don't get seizures but it helps with migraines). I also just started on Magnesium which is supposed to help. I can honestly say that I feel much better than in February but I am still very far from being 100%. My plan for the new year is to hope my health gets better and better and I can begin to get back into shape. Thomas and I walked 2.5 miles yesterday (using the new Christmas handheld GPS we got the family for Christmas) and I didn't get a migraine. Small steps. It'd be nice to lose the extra 15-20 lbs I've gained since becoming unhealthy, heck, I'd be nice to lose the extra 15 pounds I gained from being pregnant with Sarah (now 12 years old) but I'm going to focus more on feeling better. This all started in 2006 and this spring it will be three years that I've been struggling with this, enough already.


CHAPTER 2

So on to happy stuff. In January before I went down hill Erin and I were sitting around and we got an idea! ROAD TRIP! We both had always wanted to go to Dollywood, it must have been that special we had seen on TV. So I began to plan out a trip for June as soon as the kids were out of school. On the way down we went on the Cape May ferry. It was fun to have our van on a boat! The Chesapeake Bay bridge and tunnel was pretty neat too. We stopped first in New Port News, VA. We went to Busch Gardens as well as Colonial Williamsburg. It was fun but hot as heck and I was wondering how we would make it in Tennessee! It turned out it must have been a bit of a heat wave because the rest of the trip was fine.

Next on to Everett's house in Georgia to see all our southern redneck relatives. Just joking, they were all quite sophisticated. It turned out to be the perfect stop for us. At this point in the trip I think we all needed to stay in a real house for a couple of nights. The kids all felt like they were at a resort! Everett's master bath is as big as one of our bedrooms! Erin's getting ideas for her future home....she better stick with school and become a really great biologist! The first thing we did was to go to Everett's community pool. After driving all day it was nice to float around and relax. Back at Everett's house the kids decided to shoot some pool while taking "breaks" to exercise on all of Everett and Denise's equipment. No wonder Everett and Denise are looking so great AND no wonder my kids are so skinny! We all enjoyed the great variety of drinks that they had...sort of like those wet bars in the hotel rooms. The next day we went to the zoo with Everett, (unfortunately Denise had to work). Although Sarah had somewhat of a melt down I had a really great time! Lets just say, when Sarah has had too much excitement the beast from within surfaces but we still love her! Its a shame since she is the one who likes animals the most. The zoo is where I took our Christmas picture in that really neat stand of bamboo.

We had wanted to go to the Japanese restaurant while we were there because we knew that the kids would love it. It met all our expectations and more. I wasn't sure if Erin would like the food because she doesn't really like Chinese food. I've realized that Japanese food is much less greasy and the flavoring is not so overpowering as Chinese food. As a weird coincidence, it was me and Tom's anniversary so we were treated to some sort of umbrella ceremony. The restaurant sent us home with a picture of us and the family and a special set of chopsticks. Everett and Denise treated us to dinner...thanks again guys.

We had a great time at Everetts but on to Tennessee! We made a short trek to Lookout Mountain. We rode the very steep and scary inclined railroad and the entire time discussed what would happen if the cable broke. We did manage some nervous glances at the view. We spent more time looking once we reached the top. We also went to Rock City and walked through and were quite impressed with all the interesting places. I've always enjoyed walking and hiking and it was just enough to be fun but not poop me out. Sarah wouldn't go on the rope bridge and Erin was a little weak in the knees as she crossed but Thomas wanted to bounce up and down. Some yelling ensued and he calmed down. Ha ha. I think my favorite attraction was the Tennessee Aquarium. It has two buildings one for ocean fish and one for fresh water fish. It had some really unusual exhibits. For example the jelly fish. You were in a darkened area with the jelly fish tanks lit up to make them look even neater. The IMAX theater has stadium seating and had a really neat show. Sarah was out of her funk and had a great time.

On to Dollywood. I think that by the time we got there we were all vacationed out. I think we would have enjoyed ourselves more if it had been at the beginning of our trip. I had booked the best hotel room here and it had a kitchen, balcony and a lot of room. They had an indoor and outdoor pool, a small lazy river, two hot tubs and a kiddy pool. It was situated by a small brook were ducks hung out and small rabbits were frolicking. The free breakfast was the best. Needless to say we mostly wanted to spend our time here relaxing. Fortunately we had allowed for one day of doing nothing. We went to Dixie Stampede one night (a dinner show like Medieval Times).

Our final stop was Monticello in Virginia and then finally home.


CHAPTER 3

We were pretty low key the rest of the summer just going to the beach house and spending time there with Maureen (Tom's sister) and her family when she rented her own bungalow. The kids start school the last Monday of August and we needed to get sports physicals for them to run cross country. Erin started high school (9th grade) with some ambivalence but it has turned out that she is quite happy. She is still playing violin and is doing great. She had problems with her legs so spent much of the cross country season not running. Sarah started middle school (6th grade) with ME having some ambivalence but she is doing great. She's quite smart and if she could just stop worrying then she would realize this! She's still playing viola and is on the math team - quite an accomplishment for a 6th grader. Thomas is in 10th grade....he's just happy being with his geeky friends who like calculators and computer programming as much as him!


CONCLUSION

I finished up 2008 in the mad dash to buy all the Christmas presents and make the kids the traditional Christmas Eve pajamas. Erin has a giraffe pattern, her favorite animal. Sarah wanted cows and she got them and Thomas looks like he has animal tracks all over him... its a nice blue though.

I'm hoping for a great 2009! I wish you all peace, happiness and good health!

MIGRAINE NEWS

On September 30th I went on an anti seizure medication to try and control my migraines. I did not have any migraines in the month of October. In November I had three. Every time I get another migraine I get a depressed sort of feeling. I had a lot of hope for this new medicine. The first two migraines came close together and I thought maybe it was a fluke. Then I got that third one.

Even with these migraines I feel that there are a lot of good things about this medicine. As soon as I went on it I started to feel different. My brain seemed to be working better. The only time my brain hasn't been working better was during the days following my three migraines. A lot of my other weird symptoms have gotten quite a bit better. Again, they seemed to only flare up during my migraine episodes.

I go back to see the neurologist in the middle of December. I want to be migraine free but at this point I am not sure if that is possible. I'm also a little scared that if I switch medications my brain will stop being okay. I can't explain to you how frustrating it was to lose that mental function. Its as if I went to from being a relatively smart person to a relatively stupid person. I have never been able to explain this fully to anyone. The only people who truly understand are my husband and my three kids. They witnessed it first hand. They understand what I mean when I say I was out of it. I tried to explain this to the neurologist when I saw him but I don't think he got it. I will try to explain it to him again because I think it is so important, since this medicine has made such a difference.

I think I've gotten pretty much all of my brain back - except for those migraine moments or when I am tired. Now that I've gotten it back I realize how much I was missing. I've recently started reading a Stephen King novel and realized that I hadn't been reading adult books anymore. Last year I started to read the same books that my 8th grade daughter was reading. Although I could follow the adult books, it was just too exhausting and it sucked all the fun out of it. Another thing that I've started doing again is learning to play the keyboard. Last year I had started to teach myself how to play. I have always wanted to learn to play piano and the keyboard is the next best thing. I don't know quite when I stopped but things like that had just fallen by the wayside. I just didn't have the mental ability or energy to do them anymore. I am still lacking in the energy department but have enough to do nonphysical things like playing the keyboard. The bit of physical energy that has returned is generally used up on housework. I'm okay with that, its nice to have my house somewhat organized.

If I look at things in terms of the last 10 months I see a big difference in my health. I think that I have been slowly getting better with occasional setbacks. I am leery of saying that I am truly getting better because it seems that the bad spells that I have come out of nowhere. I can't rule out the possibility that tomorrow I will suddenly have a terrible month that leaves me in bed for days at a time with my brain spinning with chaos. Sounds oh so dramatic but that is what happened to me in February/March. I try to stay positive but its been difficult. Its awful living this way, not knowing when these episodes will strike. Its awful wondering if this is what my life will always be like. Is this something that I will have to accept as the norm for me?

I usually try to end my posts with a sentence that wraps everything up into some sort of conclusion. It seems that this time I can't really do that. My migraine news seems sort of open ended so this is how I will leave it.

KNOW IT ALLS

I've recently come to the conclusion that I may have a tendency to become friends with Know It Alls. I realized this after I was noting the similarities between a couple of my friends. I was thinking that they both love to tell me what to do. They both think they are more knowledgeable than they actually are. They both think they are more physically adept than they are. Then I started to see that many people in my life are this way. I was wondering if the world is populated with a bunch of Know It Alls or if they just seem to flock to me.

Mostly I just brush all of this advice and banter off but on some level I find it annoying. I try to tell myself that they are doing it because they care about me but another part of me feels that they think I'm some sort of loser who needs to be guided in the right direction. Its not that I think that I'm a loser but its annoying that they might think I'm a loser. It's quite possible that because I am a good listener who doesn't want to hurt people's feelings they feel comfortable letting loose on me.

I'm sure that this kind of talk makes them feel good. I dare say that just maybe they don't really feel good about themselves. They can reduce their insecurities by constantly letting others know just how smart, strong, wonderful they really are.

In reality, we all know that I'm much better than every one of them!

CRAZY NEIGHBOR

I think I have a crazy neighbor.

I have an older Golden Retriever, Beau, that I used to walk off leash on the dirt road by my house. On the rare occasions that a car came by I would call him to me until the car passed by. As he's gotten older his hearing has deteriorated and he has trouble hearing me calling him. Mostly I don't walk him on the road anymore and instead I've made a path on my 5 acres of land and walk him there.

Yesterday I was walking him on the path with my daughter Sarah. As I walked him (on our own land) by a neighbor's house, their dog that was inside started barking (a Jack Russel terrier). Eventually the woman came out of her house, I assumed, to see what the dog was barking at. When she saw us she folded her arms acrossed her chest and began staring at us. She continued to do this. I could tell she was angry and I figured maybe she didn't know that I was on my own land. Although they moved in a couple of years ago, I do not know her and have never introduced myself her. I decided that we should have a little chat so I could explain myself. I looked at her and yelled "hello!" She continued to stare. I thought, well maybe she didn't hear me or doesn't know that I'm talking to her. I yelled again and waved. She said nothing and continued to give me the evil eye. I looked a moment longer, then looked at Sarah who thought the whole situation was as weird as I thought and finally we just walked off.

Weird, weird, weird....this is a crazy situation. I began getting opinions on what I should do. I don't want to be walking in my own backyard and have this lady staring at me. A friend told me that I gave her a chance and now I should act as if she doesn't exist. Tom told me that he would have walked right up to her and said "hi, my name is Tom." My daughter Erin told me that if she did it again, she'd stare her down. Sarah agreed with Erin. Thomas as usual was no help - ha ha. I think I am going to combine a couple ideas and if she does this again I will stare right back. If she says something to me I will pretend she doesn't exist. I will give her a taste of her own medicine. I don't want to be friends, I just want her to stop.

Another reason I don't want to befriend her is that a small part of me wonders just how psycho she is. If I had a neighbor that I knew and they got mad at me for any reason and then stared me down, I'd think that was relatively normal. Not nice, but normal. Since I do not know this lady at all, it's just plain weird. That's another weird thing. She lives on the road that I have been walking my dog on and I've met every other person on that road and waved and even chatted with them. I don't even really know what these people look like...after two years! I've even "met" their dog who one time got loose and came running after Beau.

In my more paranoid moments I wonder if she would ever do something to my cats. About a month ago all three of my cats were suddenly not very hungry. This is a big deal because they are all very piggy. I started thinking that someone in the neighborhood possibly was feeding them. Then one of them became quite ill and was throwing up and had really bad diarrhea. I started to wonder what they had found and what they were eating. I can remember briefly giving thought to the fact that maybe we have a cat hater in the neighborhood, feeding them god knows what. It was only a passing thought because in general I am not a paranoid person. I began to wonder about this lady when on that same day I saw one of my cats heading home coming from the direction of her house.

Well there's not much I can do about any of this and have no desire for an all out war with any neighbors. So, I will just see what develops and go with what feels right at the time.

LEARNING WHO TO TRUST

Have you ever had a friend that spends a lot of time complaining about other people in their life? I do, I have a friend that is constantly putting down her other friends as well as her close relatives. She claims that she really likes/loves these people but I am surprised at how negative she can be. I often wonder why she is even friends with these people if she thinks such bad things about them. I realize that everyone can sometimes complain about their friends - like I am right now. However, this goes beyond the usual whining.

The funny thing is, that it has finally dawned on me that since she considers me a close friend, chances are she is complaining about me to these other people! I had never really thought about it until recently when I talked to her adult daughter. The conversation didn't go well. For no apparent reason the daughter was very annoyed with me - to the point that she raised her voice at me. It was a short conversation and I had not given her any reason to be so upset. We rarely have a chance to speak to each other so I can't imagine it was something I had previously said. It was quite strange until I realized that her negativity probably stemmed from some private discussions her and her mother had about me. She probably came into the conversation with some preconceived perceptions. The only other reason I can think is that she is such a stressed out individual that she is constantly on the verge of yelling at everyone.

The question that I ask myself is why would I be so stupid to think that her mother isn't trashing me like she does all her other "friends? One might say that I shouldn't assume that she is doing this. But how can I think otherwise? How could I believe that I could be the only person in her life that she doesn't talk so negatively about?

It bothers me that she does this because I do consider her a close friend. I am not one to open up to people who are not supportive to me. It's a bummer because now I have to censor our friendship. Some people would be able to accept that is the way she is and not worry about it. I am not like that, I do not want to think that she is taking what I confide to her and twisting it around into something negative. I will not end our friendship but unfortunately, our friendship has now become more shallow.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

SHE CAN FLY!!

LIFE IN THE POCONOS!

SARAH CARVING HER PUMPKIN ON SUNDAY

SARAH BUILDING A SNOWMAN ON TUESDAY!

PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION....DON'T GET ME STARTED!

I am a registered independent because I have the personality that says NO ONE IS GOING TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO! However, I definitely lean towards the left. After all, I am left handed! I have not always been this way. When I first started out as an adult I was more conservative, I still am conservative in a lot of ways but definitely not in the political arena. I made the switch after I realized that the Republican definition of conservative was a lot different than my definition of conservative. I am very careful with my money. I stay away from debt, paying off my credit card every month. If I don't have the money I don't buy it. I tend to buy a basic car that is very reliable. I don't live my life in a wild reckless way. I am not a thrill seeker. I figured that people who thought like me would be good at running the country. I thought the Republicans were conservative. I was wrong. I started paying attention to actions instead of words. I'm almost ashamed to admit that I voted for Bush number two the first time around. One of the reasons I voted for him was that I felt that we did not need to send our soldiers to other countries as much. We have problems right here that our resources should be spent on. He promised that he would keep our troops home....then he decided to conquer another country. Weapons of mass destruction, blah, blah, blah! Don't you remember, that was the original reason for the war or has everyone now been convinced that the war is protecting us from another 9/11 attack? NOT! I was totally against the war from day one. I knew it was a war that would turn out to be a mess and one that we could not win, why didn't Bush know that? Because he is an idiot.

Besides the Iraq fiasco, whatever happened to our balanced budget? Those crazy Democrats that just like to spend and tax managed to balance the budget and the "conservative" republicans managed to get us into more debt than ever. The last time I heard of this much spending Reagan was in office. Bush would blame it on this stupid war, but I am sure that even without the war he would have spent, spent, spent. How can we expect the average person to be financially responsible when our leadership isn't? I blame this economic downturn on the poor example that the Republicans have given us. Unfortunately, we may need these hardships to show us our folly.

I am not naive, I realize that all politicians lie. Its just that I think the Republican lies are worse for our country than the Democrats. The Republicans lie thinking about how they can benefit themselves. The Democrats lie in a way that is exaggerating what they can give us. (I'm cynical, aren't I) Sometimes McCain sounds like he really does love his country and wants to do great things but I've believed Republicans in the past and was burned. Because of this, I feel that I will never be able to vote for a Republican again no matter how good they sound.

The worse part about this election are the falsehoods perpetuated by the Republicans. I find it very sad when my kids come home and tell me the untruths that the other kids believe (high schoolers). They believe that Obama is a Muslim even though he is a Christian. I can understand why at this time in our country people would not be accepting of a Muslim president but why does being a Christian make him better anyways? Don't we have a separation of church and state? Just to be clear, I do know that Obama is a Christian!! I had to write that just in case some idiot happens along this post and is not clear on that! They believe that Obama thinks that if a partial birth abortion is botched then the mother should be able to kill the baby! I am not joking, this is something one kid told my son! I live in a Republican area of a usually Democratic state. It makes me sad to think that chances are these kids are getting their ideas from their parents. I think that most of these people have gotten their information from attack ads. Its hard for me to believe that most of these people have watched any of the debates where Obama refuted all these charges. If you don't want to vote for Obama, fine, but please get your facts straight. I tell my husband, if it sounds crazy it probably is. Why would a terrorist Muslim even bother to run for president? Why would the Democrats have a Muslim terrorist for their candidate? THEY WOULDN'T, ITS ABSURD!!

SUPERSTITIONS

Generally, I'm not a superstitious person but I have one superstition that seems to have stuck in my brain. When I was a child I heard that if you kill a spider it will make it rain. Ever since then, I have been especially kind to arachnids. Being careful not to step on them. Scooping them up in paper towels to shuttle them outside if necessary. Sometimes even leaving spider webs in the corners so I wouldn't disturb them. All so I wouldn't be responsible for a rainstorm. Occasionally I have found it necessary to dispose of a spider in a not so humane way. If its extra big and I'm not close to a door I've been known to squish it rather than save it. On those days I tend to glance often at the sky awaiting the inevitable downpour.

I can't say for sure if killing a spider has any effect on the weather but I do know that today it sure seemed that way. This morning I opened the back door to let my cat out into the sunshine. A medium sized spider came rushing in as if the warmth of the house was where it wanted to spend its winter. I narrowed my two eyes and gave it a stare, it froze and looked up at me with it's eight eyes. I said to myself, "bah, I'm a silly superstitious fool!" I then quickly grabbed a paper towel and threw it down on the unsuspecting spider. No shuttling today, even with the door only a foot away. I crushed down on the helpless spider and only felt a slight resistance. I felt mean. I had an unsettled feeling that I had done something wrong, something really wrong. A couple hours later the clouds rolled in. Not long after that the raindrops came down. I hope it doesn't last into tomorrow when my son's cross country team has their final race.

I've learned my lesson and I'll probably go back to my peace loving ways. This admission should count for something. Will the spider loving gods let the sun come out?

WHAT ELSE WOULD A LEAF BLOWER BE FOR?

We've never owned a leaf blower before. Thomas loves it. Not only did he blow the leaves into a big pile but he had some fun using it to shoot a foam ball up in the air. He got some left over pvc drain pipe, lined it up with the end of the leaf blower, inserted the ball and away it flew. He was shooting it straight up into the air and I decided I was going to try to catch it when it came back down. My dog Beau decided he needed to run right in front of me just when I was looking up and running to get the ball. Down I went and if Beau wasn't such a big dog he would have went splat! I knocked him over and landed quite hard on his chest. Hard enough to make him bark/squawk! He got up and before we knew it he was following me around and getting in my way once again! Eventually, I did catch that ball! Oh yeah, I wasn't hurt in the fall either!

Note Thomas's ear protection. He will grow up with perfect hearing because he uses those ear muffs for everything!