Lately I have been doing a couple of new things. At the end of the summer when my kids started getting in shape for cross country running I also started "running". Its probably more of a jog but my son says its okay to say running. He has a speedometer on his bike and I started out averaging less than 4 mph but the last time he timed me I was doing an average of 4.8 mph. Our neighborhood has some steep hills so 4.8 mph is not bad. I'm sure I look like a fat, middle aged housewife puffing and sweating but I try to picture myself as a lean mean running machine! I only run about three times a week because I've discovered that my knees need the break in between runs. They only hurt if I run everyday. I learned to do a warm-up run, then stretch, run, then stretch again. This helps to ward off stiffness and seems to make a difference with my knees. I started out with just one mile (at the end of August) but yesterday I ran 2.5 miles. I'm proud of myself because although some people are born to run, I was not! My goal is to get so I can make it at least 3 miles and then next spring I will run in the schools 5K race with my kids. Its nice to have my kids support because part of me will be a little embarrassed. Tom used to be a runner and it'd be nice if he'd join me (at least in practicing).
The other new thing I've been doing is really practicing the keyboard. We got the keyboard a couple of years ago and I sort of learned the basics back then. I practiced for awhile then got away from it. I finally got back to it and really concentrated on learning an easy version of Eine Kleine Nachtmusik. It was tough for me because my left hand had to be keeping a steady beat while my right hand played something else. I persisted and finally got it...pretty much! I wanted to make Moonlight Sonata my next challenge but it may be too tough for me right now. It would be great if I could get good enough to play The Entertainer or Maple Leaf Rag. Someday.....
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
TRYING YOUR HARDEST, DOING YOUR BEST AND OTHER SUCH NONSENSE
I think that I have a problem that most people would love to have. My kids are quite smart. My kids work really hard at succeeding in everything that they do. They always do their homework, almost always practice their instruments and push themselves to do their very best. All this with a minimal amount of nagging from me. Its as if they've internalized a desire to do well. I've taught them to be conscientious. So what's the problem?
The problem is that I wonder if I've taught them to know when enough is enough. Will they be able to know when to relax? When to say no. Right now I am the one who makes sure that they are not overloaded. I think I do a pretty good job. There are times that I need to slow them down. There are times that I need to give them a little extra push. However, the time is coming very quickly when they will need to make decisions for themselves.
When a student is doing well in school there are extra pressures placed on them. There are levels in high school for the regular, advanced and super advanced students. The more advanced you are, the more work you are expected to do. Thomas who is now in 9th grade had to read three books (teachers choice) over the summer and prepare for two social studies tests to be given on the second and third days of school. During the high school open house, I learned that next year Thomas may be recommended to take some AP courses. AP stands for Advanced Placement and are college level courses that can give you college credits if you pass the test. We are warned that these AP courses are super difficult and require much more homework than other courses. If he's doing 1.5 to 2 hours per night of homework now, how much more would be required?
I feel an intense pressure when making decisions about my kids education. Are they capable of doing the work required in these advanced classes? They certainly are but at what price? I'm not sure if I know when enough is enough, how can I expect them to make these kinds of decisions? Thomas graduated 8th grade with the highest GPA out of around 200 students so if I decide he shouldn't take these AP courses, I will look like a lunatic. Why wouldn't I want him to push himself to the max? Because I feel that there are more important things in life than being the best. Or making the most money. On the other hand if I slow them down now will it hurt their chances to be able to accomplish their dreams? Maybe Thomas's dream will be to go to the best engineering college he can get into (only on a scholarship - HAH!). If I hold him back will he resent it later?
In some sense, Thomas is my guinea pig. Erin will follow in his footsteps next year and if she doesn't have the highest GPA in 8th grade she will definitely be in the top five. Sarah is following in their footsteps. I plan to take it one small step at a time and guide them to make decisions that will hopefully lead them to a happy as well as successful life. I can only go by what I think is true and right.
The problem is that I wonder if I've taught them to know when enough is enough. Will they be able to know when to relax? When to say no. Right now I am the one who makes sure that they are not overloaded. I think I do a pretty good job. There are times that I need to slow them down. There are times that I need to give them a little extra push. However, the time is coming very quickly when they will need to make decisions for themselves.
When a student is doing well in school there are extra pressures placed on them. There are levels in high school for the regular, advanced and super advanced students. The more advanced you are, the more work you are expected to do. Thomas who is now in 9th grade had to read three books (teachers choice) over the summer and prepare for two social studies tests to be given on the second and third days of school. During the high school open house, I learned that next year Thomas may be recommended to take some AP courses. AP stands for Advanced Placement and are college level courses that can give you college credits if you pass the test. We are warned that these AP courses are super difficult and require much more homework than other courses. If he's doing 1.5 to 2 hours per night of homework now, how much more would be required?
I feel an intense pressure when making decisions about my kids education. Are they capable of doing the work required in these advanced classes? They certainly are but at what price? I'm not sure if I know when enough is enough, how can I expect them to make these kinds of decisions? Thomas graduated 8th grade with the highest GPA out of around 200 students so if I decide he shouldn't take these AP courses, I will look like a lunatic. Why wouldn't I want him to push himself to the max? Because I feel that there are more important things in life than being the best. Or making the most money. On the other hand if I slow them down now will it hurt their chances to be able to accomplish their dreams? Maybe Thomas's dream will be to go to the best engineering college he can get into (only on a scholarship - HAH!). If I hold him back will he resent it later?
In some sense, Thomas is my guinea pig. Erin will follow in his footsteps next year and if she doesn't have the highest GPA in 8th grade she will definitely be in the top five. Sarah is following in their footsteps. I plan to take it one small step at a time and guide them to make decisions that will hopefully lead them to a happy as well as successful life. I can only go by what I think is true and right.
PICKING APPLES
One of my favorite yearly traditions is apple picking. To get there we drive through the black dirt region of New York. The dirt really is very black and looks so fertile that it seems anything could grow there. It makes me want to stop and fill the back of my van so I could bring it home. Our dirt here is so bad that its a challenge to get even grass to grow. Just before we reach Pine Island we see and smell the onion fields. Onions seem like a strange vegetable to me. The delicate papery outside seems inconsistent with being grown in the dirt. They never seem dirty when you buy them in the store.
After about an hour we arrive in Warwick, NY and pull onto the dirt road leading to our apple orchard of choice. The bumpy road seems to enhance the feeling that we are pioneers heading out to harvest apples in our horse drawn wagon. ZOOM! Back to reality when someone in an SUV whips passed us because we are driving too slow. We literally eat their dust.
There is something so wonderful about that first bite of that first fresh picked McIntosh! As I walk up to the closest tree, I couldn't help but verbalize my anticipation. As I describe how good it will taste, Thomas says something like "oh mom, come on are you trying to kill me!" Earlier in the day he was so hungry for his lunch of left over lasagna, his mouth was wet with drool. His salivary glands were burning with overuse. He pictured them bursting and having saliva shooting from his mouth. We both got a good laugh out of that one!
As we eat our fill of fresh pick apples, we begin to stuff the bag. Every year my family laughs at me because I insist on filling the bag as full as I can get it. After all, if I am paying $18.50 for apples, I want to get my money's worth! The kids seem to have gotten into the cheapskate spirit since they can't help but grab a couple extras as we are leaving the orchard. Am I promoting a form of thievery? Probably but since we are pretty good people we need something to make us imperfect! OKAY, OKAY, I admit it.....I always sample a couple of grapes in the supermarket before I buy them!
After about an hour we arrive in Warwick, NY and pull onto the dirt road leading to our apple orchard of choice. The bumpy road seems to enhance the feeling that we are pioneers heading out to harvest apples in our horse drawn wagon. ZOOM! Back to reality when someone in an SUV whips passed us because we are driving too slow. We literally eat their dust.
There is something so wonderful about that first bite of that first fresh picked McIntosh! As I walk up to the closest tree, I couldn't help but verbalize my anticipation. As I describe how good it will taste, Thomas says something like "oh mom, come on are you trying to kill me!" Earlier in the day he was so hungry for his lunch of left over lasagna, his mouth was wet with drool. His salivary glands were burning with overuse. He pictured them bursting and having saliva shooting from his mouth. We both got a good laugh out of that one!
As we eat our fill of fresh pick apples, we begin to stuff the bag. Every year my family laughs at me because I insist on filling the bag as full as I can get it. After all, if I am paying $18.50 for apples, I want to get my money's worth! The kids seem to have gotten into the cheapskate spirit since they can't help but grab a couple extras as we are leaving the orchard. Am I promoting a form of thievery? Probably but since we are pretty good people we need something to make us imperfect! OKAY, OKAY, I admit it.....I always sample a couple of grapes in the supermarket before I buy them!
Tom and I managed to drag ourselves into the tree for a photo!
Sarah, Erin and Thomas were much more agile getting into the same tree!
Saturday, September 08, 2007
WHERE DID THAT MONTH GO?
Its hard to believe that I didn't post once in August. I was home a lot but decided to just take it easy, knowing that the start of school was coming. Sometimes I wonder why it seems so tough for me to have the kids start school. After all, its them that have to go off and spend their day working. I get a lot of quiet time at home....at least until they come home and my work begins. The first day of school I spent two hours reading through papers and filling out forms. Then there is the self imposed worrying. Do they like their teachers, will they be able to keep up their grades, will their extracurricular activities overwhelm them. Then there are the aggravations. Why does that teacher decide to take points off of the students grades just for being absent (even when they have a legitimate excuse)? Why do we need to show a photo id and sign our kids out when the people handing them over to us know us? Why does the cross country coach make everyone do extra laps when one girl is the only one who walks during practice? So as you can see I have plenty to keep my mind occupied. And who's worrying about me possibly going insane?
For some reason having my first kid going into high school has been a difficult transition. Not for him. He seems absolutely fine. Its me. Its sort of like turning 40. Its the sadness of letting go. For me it's the worry that I'm not letting go enough. I don't want to let him go but the alternative is being over protective. Or over involved. For me its a difficult balancing act. I have never been a mother who is over joyed at the start of school. Never have I said "hooray, my kids are off to school and now I have alone time". I've always been very content to be with my kids. I'm just hoping as time marches on, this does not become a problem for me or him. Part of me wonders how this could ever become a problem but then I see the example of the other families. Once the kids get to be teenagers they seem to become so distance. The parents back off as the kids develop an obvious annoyance with their parents. This is touted as normal. If that's normal, then what are we? Abnormal? Ha ha, only I could worry about something like this!
For some reason having my first kid going into high school has been a difficult transition. Not for him. He seems absolutely fine. Its me. Its sort of like turning 40. Its the sadness of letting go. For me it's the worry that I'm not letting go enough. I don't want to let him go but the alternative is being over protective. Or over involved. For me its a difficult balancing act. I have never been a mother who is over joyed at the start of school. Never have I said "hooray, my kids are off to school and now I have alone time". I've always been very content to be with my kids. I'm just hoping as time marches on, this does not become a problem for me or him. Part of me wonders how this could ever become a problem but then I see the example of the other families. Once the kids get to be teenagers they seem to become so distance. The parents back off as the kids develop an obvious annoyance with their parents. This is touted as normal. If that's normal, then what are we? Abnormal? Ha ha, only I could worry about something like this!
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