THE BESTEST WEEKEND EVER

I'm a little late in posting about it, but I just wanted to say that we had the bestest Memorial Day weekend ever! We started our friday night with a big bonfire! We had been trying to have one for awhile but the weather just wasn't cooperating! Thomas happily burned up his old go cart and his wooden windmill. He built both from his own designs but has moved on to bigger and better projects. He turned wood gathering into a major workout. He ran through the woods collecting large and small branches, cutting them up and then adding them to the fire to keep it roaring! The picture above is the "grand finale" when he dumped in my cornstalks from last fall.

We continued the festivities by setting up the tent. Erin, Sarah and I slept out not one night but two! Other than a lot of very verbal crows in the morning we slept like logs. We were sure not to eat anything in the tent so one of the four bears wandering the neighborhood wouldn't show up for a snack! The bears didn't scare us but the ghost stories that Erin got off the internet sure did! Well, they didn't really scare me but it was fun telling them anyway!

Saturday evening was our first BBQ of hamburgers and hotdogs. Sunday was a perfectly done steak. By monday, I had to follow my supper time announcement with "and you'll like it". More hamburgers and hotdogs on the grill! My kids like variety so were almost sick of BBQ food. I say almost because I didn't allow them to vent their disapproval, so as far as I am concerned, they LOVED it!

We filled our days with yard work, home improvement and just for fun, a little relaxation!

It was a taste of the summer days to come!

PRESTIGIOUS AWARD

I just got a phone call from Thomas's guidance counselor to inform me that "Tom will be receiving a prestigious award at the ceremony on June 8th". She hopes we will be there. PRESTIGIOUS! I will be there. I hate awards, but I will be there. It may be the math counts award he should get but I guess it could be something else...something even MORE prestigious! I know I should just be proud and shut up but I can't.

I am proud of my kids but some how awards just seem to promote an eagerness for other people to give you their approval. Yes, here is an award because we like you and you have done just what we want you to do. How many times have I fallen in the trap of trying to get people to like me. It seems when I try to get someone to like me I fail and end up miserable.

It seems as if, depending on the year, one or another of my kids will be a favorite. Up until fourth grade Erin was almost always picked as Citizen of the Year. Sarah has received quite a few of those herself. Thomas who is currently receiving this "prestigious award" was never picked as Citizen of the Year. Does this mean he is less of a good student/citizen? Apparently since being in Middle School he has become a better student since he has always gotten a Student of the Month award. Last year Thomas and Erin were both picked as Student of the Month in September - quite an "honor" since there are only 10 months in the school year. This year Thomas was once again picked early on and Erin never got picked to be Student of the Month at all. Does this mean that her status as a student has dropped dramatically in the past year? Usually Sarah gets a Student of the Month award during the first half of the year. This is the first year that Sarah has not received a Student of the Month award. So you see, round and round we go. No rhyme or reason. Just a matter of rubbing someone the wrong way or the right way. Underlying it all is that sense of "why doesn't this teacher like me?" or "Yeah, she/he likes me!"

Worse of all, I'm expected to go to the ceremonies, puffed up with pride. How annoying to the other parents who are more than likely thinking "Oh that Elise, she thinks her kids are so great". My family life is a very personal experience for me. I am proud of my kids but I don't need other people to recognize their goodness for me to feel that pride. I conduct my personal life the way I do regardless of what other people think - good or bad.

Its inevitable this time of the year that I have to spend at least a little bit of time whining about awards. I hope from all my whining, my children will learn something. Awards are not important. Being a good person. Being a happy person. Having a full life. Making the most of the gifts you were born with. Learning to make good decisions that will give you all of these things. These are the things that are important. Awards are the way that other people give you their approval. This is fine when people approve of you but what will you do when they don't approve of you? Will you be able to recognize your own talents? Will you still be happy with yourself?

When Thomas was in sixth grade his science teacher told me that Thomas was the best student he's ever had in his entire teaching history. What made his comment memorable to me was the fact that he told me that although Thomas was super smart, he was still just a regular kid. He fit right in with all the other kids and always had a smile on his face. That's what made me happy. The fact that this teacher took the time to tell me this means so much more to me than watching Thomas receive a "prestigious award".

WHO'S EATING ALL THE FOOD IN THE HOUSE

After taking a closer look at the pictures I posted of my children, I realized that they are looking quite skinny. Bones sticking out everywhere! It occurred to me that maybe I should be eating a little bit less of the food in the house and leave some for them!

TAGGED

I've been tagged with a meme to write 8 random habits/facts about myself.

1. I met my husband, Tom, at my sister's wedding when she was marrying his brother. I was only 13 and he was 18 and if you had told me I would eventually marry him, I would have laughed hysterically.
2. When I was 15 years old I became friends with Tom and he tells me one of the first things I said to him was that I would never get married!
3. I went to NJ Institute of Technology in Newark, NJ for my first year of college. Quite a culture shock from my country bumpkin upbringing in NH! It was very eye opening.
4. The only times I have been out of the country were my vacations to the Bahamas and Canada and a couple of short jaunts into Mexico.
5. Growing up, we were kind of poor. We drank powdered milk, my mother made a lot of my clothes, we ate vegetables from my father's huge garden. We also ate eggs from our chickens and ducks and if they were roosters, we ate them! We ate tons of wild blueberries, dandelions (yuck), homemade maple syrup and even baby ferns (called fiddleheads). All in the name of saving money. As a kid I never knew we were poor. I guess because I always had food, clothes and a roof over my head - that was enough.
6. I usually take my shower midafternoon so when I wake up I just quickly put on the clothes that I was wearing the evening before. I probably often times look like I wear my clothes two full days in a row but usually not!
7. If I eat a lot of chocolate, I will get diarrhea.
8. If I have soda in the house, I let my children drink it for breakfast.

Now I am supposed to tag eight other people. I will see if my kids read this and tag Erin and Sarah. That's it, no one else to tag...

BOB AND DEREK

BOB

ERIN AND DEREK

I made each of the kids a blanket by sewing together two pieces of cloth. One side was a fuzzy, soft kind of cloth that you would make a stuffed animal from and the other side was flannel. The kids love to cuddle up in a special blanket made just for them. Erin's blanket was extra fuzzy and our cat's also love it! We think it reminds them of their mom!

I LOVE THE CATTITUDE!

Oh what a lovely smelling plant!

What ARE you doing?!? Did I say you could take that picture?!? Do you know who I am?!?

SARAH

I swear, she loves being a weirdo!

ERIN

What do you like better, my eye shadow or my $7,000 orthodontic work?!?

THOMAS

Who wouldn't be proud of this guy?!?

SARAH AGAIN

Up close and personal!

THOMAS AGAIN

Erin captured this lovely image with her camera so I'm not sure if its agony or just a sneeze!

ELISE

And finally, a lovely picture of my scalp!

MONSTER

With the looks in my family, this guy could be one of my children!

I'M GRUMPY

Yesterday it occurred to me that I get grumpy at the end of every school year. You may think that it is because I dread the thought of having my children home with me all summer. That's not the case at all. Its a time of year when all the concerts, field days, awards ceremonies and end of year parties happen. YUCK!

I love to hear my kids play their instruments or sing. I don't like to hear the other parents be rude and talk continuously throughout the entire performance. Hey, they might not be very good but they deserve the respect of having people listen.

I think that my children deserve awards for being good people but I'm leery of the way we've turned everything into a competition. It's not a question of sour grapes because my kids have always gotten plenty of awards. It just seems wrong to me every time I sit through one of the award ceremonies.

I always help for field days and they are always desperate to get parents to come in but the person who plans it has a problem with me. One year I told her that I was more than happy to be a helper for the field day but was too busy to help with the initial organization. She got mad and said we are all busy and that maybe I wouldn't be allowed to help at all. She said that they didn't really need that many parents to be there on the actual day and she usually asked her friends that were willing to help her organize it right from the beginning. Of course a couple weeks before the field day we got an email notification that they were desperate for parents to come in to help and I had to call again. I am the only person who feels like they have to beg to be allowed to come to help. Weird. I hate these petty parent battles.

I no longer need to help with my kids class parties because they are older now but I recently went back to help Thomas and Sarah's kindergarten teacher with Grand Parent's Day. The lone mother that was there from the actual class had the martyr syndrome. "I can't BELIEVE I'm the ONLY parent that helped!" She didn't seem to catch on to the idea that I didn't even have a kid in the class but was just trying to help out an old friend/teacher. I don't feel like a martyr. I think everyone should do things for other people.

So, I spend my days in a constant state of underlying annoyance. What keeps me sane is the thought that its almost over. I am thrilled at the idea of day after day spent hanging out at home with my kids. The weekends right now are the best. With spring here I can freely spend my time outside as well as inside. Getting my hands dirty in the garden then catching up on sewing projects. This makes the end of the year bearable!

I REMEMBER WHEN THEY COULDN'T TALK

One of my favorite things to do is have a good conversation with one of my kids. I still can remember when they couldn't talk and now appreciate their talent to communicate.

Thomas was somewhat of a late talker and had many words he mispronounced. He called his sister Erin "Ya Ya". The moon was "mmmm". He could not pronounce the sound "oy" until he was almost 5 years old. So boy became bear and toy became tear. I can still remember the look of shock and joy on his face the first time boy came out of his mouth sounding right. My husband still calls pillows "boopahs" because of Thomas's mispronunciation. My friend was always looking for the why. She said Thomas was a late talker because I didn't let him interact with other kids enough. She suggested I get out of the house more. Then she told me my youngest was not talking because apparently she was having too much interaction with kids - my other kids were talking for her and she became too lazy to talk. She suggested I ignore her until she said things clearly. I guess she thought Erin talked early because she had the middle child syndrome of trying to get more attention. Some how, at the time, I knew that they were just born that way. They were hardwired to talk when they were good and ready!

Once Thomas and Sarah began to talk they kept me smiling with what they had to say. Thomas saying the hose had a canker sore when it had a kink and Sarah with her grown up analysis of life's problems. Erin has always made me smile with the sheer volume of what she had to say. She could talk almost perfectly by the time she was two but even before her words were clear she made complete paragraphs out of her gibberish. All of her dialogues were emphasized with her various hand movements. You can imagine how cute an 18 month old looks having a completely indecipherable conversation with me. I actually would respond as if I knew exactly what she was saying.

I'm still listening with interest although I have to admit sometimes even now I pretend to know exactly what they are saying...when in reality all I hear is "whan, whan, whan, whan, whan, whan". You know how the kids in the Peanuts gang hear grown-ups talk. Well kids, sometimes it works both ways!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!

I hope everyone has a great Mother's Day!

WE NEED THE RAIN

Why is it, whenever I water my plants, its rains right afterwards? Well, I'm not stupid, I've got it all figured out. I DID water them, but only a little bit, afterall, it was going to rain! Well, it DID rain.....but only a little bit. Apparently, the rainfall amount is in direct proportion with how much I water.

I'm somewhat convinced that the reason that its been so dry is because our lake looks like this!







It had to be drained in order to repair the outlet pipe and it almost seems as if its desperately sucking all the available moisture in the area in order to stay alive!

I seem to be having trouble inserting extra space/blank lines around my pictures. It lets me insert as many as I want before the picture but not a single one after the picture. Hmmm, as with many things with blogger, I just wait for the problem to go away. Afterall, blogger is free and I am cheap...oops I mean frugal!

PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH

I have recently come to the revelation that I am teaching my children skills that I myself don't have. I am teaching them how to handle unhappiness in everyday life. I'm teaching them to be able say "oh well" and then just move forward. This is something that I have difficulty doing. Logically, we understand that we can't be happy every minute of the day. People experience anger, sadness, boredom, frustration and failure. We will have small and large tragedies in our life. Not everyone will like us. Some people will treat us in unfair ways. This is just life. I teach my children to accept this and deal with these situations and then go on living. They are much more successful in doing this than I am. I'm working on it but have a ways to go.

I used to have a friend who lost both of her parents in horrible accidents. As a result she has always taught her children that if anything happens to her or their father, it is important to go on a lead a wonderful life. In the past I have never understood this. Aren't there just some things that you can never get over? I've since realized that if we tell ourselves that we could never go on if such and such happens, then we are setting ourselves up for failure. Its not that we have to dwell on all the horrible possibilities, but we do have to see ourselves as strong individuals who can deal with whatever life has to send our way. If we don't do this, there can be no hope.

I realize that the best time to acquire these skills is in childhood. No one taught them to me. Will I be successful in teaching my children? Will they see the hypocrisy in the way I deal with things? Will this hypocrisy affect their success?

As the saying goes, "life goes on".